Closest I've gotten to properly drunk is very mildly drunk.
Turns out, when at that stage, at least, I become paranoid.
Heh, call me weird, but I got to the 'mild buzz' stage, decided the feeling is fucking awful, and did not feel like drinking alcohol ever since early November (and even then I had a single beer).
You might just be very sensitive to intoxication. For me, there's a fine line between pleasantly buzzed and unpleasantly buzzed. Which almost always comes down to what I'm drinking. When I drink enough domestic beer to get drunk, I get a headache. I start feeling drowsy and slow and just generally unpleasant. Three or four cans of PBR or whatever and I'm ready to call it a night.
Contrast: Germany. After my 8th or 9th "domestic" German beer, it dawned on me that a) I felt pretty damn good and b) I was tipsy but had not yet crossed the line into feeling like shit. All hail German brewing standards. (Insert Nazi joke in poor taste here.)
So I pretty much won't drink domestic anymore. I'd rather drink soda, even when surrounded by heavy or social drinkers, unless there's actually something good on tap. In fact, I think I'd rather drink toilet bowl water instead of Coors, Michelob, Bud: Whatever or PBR.
As for the drinks that learned me real good....it actually took two.
One night with a bottle of Southern Comfort made me realize I can't drink to that degree alone. Not even close.
And another night mixing Gin and Juice taught me that Gin is one of the nastiest alcohols known to man. I even
smell Gin and it makes me queasy.