[6]
....
I think grate just killed the player character.
I think you guys committed suicide via 7 year old. Admittedly, you committed suicide via ordering a god-blood infused 7 year old in power armor to punch you in the face, so you committed suicide in about the most metal, outrageous way possible.
Thats a thing.
WELP. Since you're dead and no one is gonna train grate, I don't see what else we can do but skip to the testing phase. And I was so hoping that you'd accidentally raise that lovecraftianism stat to the point of becoming an old one. Oh well.
Lets see here.
HATE Dappertude:3
Cynicismish:5
Businessness:-4
Determinational:8
LIKE Survivalous: 6
HATE Sporties:2
LIKE Schooliouses:12
The final stats, with the ones he hated and liked labeled.
Now for the end tests, otherwise known as high school.
GRATE JUST BARELY MANAGES TO FIND HIMSELF A PROM DATE, IRONIC CONSIDERING HIS HAREM OF GODDESSES, BUT APPARENTLY HE CAN'T TALK TO NORMAL MORTAL WOMEN VERY WELL! DAPPERTUDE TEST PASSED!
GRATE COMPLETELY FORGETS TO WEAR A CONDOM FOR THE TRADITIONAL PROM AFTER PARTY! ENJOY YOUR ACCIDENTAL CHILD! CYNICISMISH TEST FAILED!
GRATE DOESN'T MANAGE TO GET A SPOT ON THE GENERIC HIGHSCHOOL SPORTS TEAM AND NEVER LEARNS HOW TO DO 80'S MOVIE TRAINING MONTAGES! SPORTIES TEST FAILED!
GRATE GETS FUCK OFF ASTOUNDING GOOD GRADES. I MEAN THE FUCKER IS DISCOVERING FUCKING NEW LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE IN THE MIDDLE OF PER-ALGEBRA AND DURING FROG DISSECTION IN BIOLOGY HE INVENTS A 100% EFFECTIVE TREATMENT FOR PANCREATIC CANCER! HOLY FUCK! SCHOOLIOUSES TEST FUCKING PASSED.
TURNS OUT THAT GRATE AT LEAST DID ONE THING RIGHT FOR THAT PROM DATE! HE PICKED A GOOD WOMAN TO ACCIDENTALLY IMPREGNATE BECAUSE SHE'S A TOTAL BRO AND IS PRETTY DAMN CHILL ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. GRATE AND HER GET ALONG PERFECTLY AND EVERYTHING TURNED OUT BETTER THEN EXPECTED. SURVIVALOUS TEST PASSED!
TOO BAD ALL THOSE SMARTS AND COOL ASS WIFE CAN'T HELP GRATE LAND A GOOD JOB! THE MAN IS A ROCKET SURGEON WHO WORKS AS A WALMART GREETER. I GUESS EISENSTEIN WORKED AS A CLERK THOUGH, DIDN'T HE? BUSINESSNESS TEST FAILED!
GRATE, REALIZING THE HORRIBLE UNFULFILLING EXISTENCE AT HIS JOB AND THE FACT THAT HIS GREAT GENIUS SHALL NEVER BE ACCEPTED OR UNDERSTOOD, CONTEMPLATES SUICIDE. BUT THEN HE GETS OVER IT COMPLETELY AND LIVES OUT A STRONG, SIMPLE, HAPPY LIFE WITH HIS WIFE AND CHILD NAMED "WOOPS".
DETERMINATIONAL TEST PASSED!
4/7 TESTS PASSED!
YOUR CHILD RECEIVES A D- AT LIFE.