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[Empiricist]

insert AWESOME pic here

WHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sig thread.
It solves all.

-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?

+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.

+1

-1 to the rest. You monsters.

+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because blanket -1s are unfair.

+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because fuck sanity.

[WhitiusOpus]

insert AWESOME pic here

WHY CANT I SIG YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Sig thread.
It solves all.

-1 to fencing. If the boy's gonna learn how to use a blade it needs to be a knife and he needs to learn how to fight with it. You might not always have a suitable fencing weapon, but you can always carry a knife. Maybe when he's older, yeah?

+1 to reading suggestion, and also keeping the orphans around. I'll need them soon.

+1

-1 to the rest. You monsters.

+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because blanket -1s are unfair.

+1 to everything GWG -1'd, because fuck sanity.

+1 to whatever BFEL OR GWG -1'd because I STILL think STEPHEN needs to die on a sacrificial altar.

[Yoink]

I'm imagining PW sitting there sifting through all this, punching pluses and minuses into a battered old calculator with a resigned expression.

[Flying Dice]

This is the moment where, as a GM, you say, "fuck that, I'm eyeballing it".

[syvarris]

...

So, I showed this game to my Dad, and he actually seems interested in playing it.  Yes, knowing of all the horrible player stuff.  I'm not going to remind him though, because then I'd be Grate's brother, and that's just weird.

So, instead of becoming his brother, I'll try to improve his life.  Wouldn't it be better if Grate grew up to be an effective sociopath, who rises to the top?  Trauma won't put him there- it'll make him into a rage filled serial killer who lashes out uncontrollably until he's shot.  So instead of doing actions that we know can only result in him being traumatized, let's try and make an avatar of skill and power.

So: +1 to everything GWG +1'd, -1 to everything else.  Mostly because I don't feel like sifting through the idiocy.

[Remuthra]

...

So, I showed this game to my Dad, and he actually seems interested in playing it.  Yes, knowing of all the horrible player stuff.  I'm not going to remind him though, because then I'd be Grate's brother, and that's just weird.

So, instead of becoming his brother, I'll try to improve his life.  Wouldn't it be better if Grate grew up to be an effective sociopath, who rises to the top?  Trauma won't put him there- it'll make him into a rage filled serial killer who lashes out uncontrollably until he's shot.  So instead of doing actions that we know can only result in him being traumatized, let's try and make an avatar of skill and power.

So: +1 to everything GWG +1'd, -1 to everything else.  Mostly because I don't feel like sifting through the idiocy.

Why would we want a rage-filled serial killer? We're trying to turn him into a god, that's all.

[syvarris]

Yeah, why would you want a rage-filled serial killer?  That's my point.

I'm saying trauma won't get him to god status, it'll just get him in jail, or dead.  We need to raise a smart sociopath, not a berserker.

No trauma.

[Kadzar]

I'll agree to the no trauma pact as long as we can still subject him to brutally hard training. And possibly a little brainwashing.

[syvarris]

*squints at Kadzar*

Yeah.  That's what I'm going for.  As long as "brutally hard training" is within the realm of "possible to be completed".  Putting a two year old in high school rugby doesn't count as training.-

Brainwashing's not necessary if we make the kid like us.  We should try to be the almighty mentor, not the throwaway drunken abuser.  Anyone here read OoTS?  We should be Tarquin, not the Starshine guy.

[Kadzar]

*squints back at syvarris*

Alright, fair enough. I think we have an accord.

[piecewise]

I'm imagining PW sitting there sifting through all this, punching pluses and minuses into a battered old calculator with a resigned expression.

I'm actually using a very large, very old computer with punch cards.


WELP LOOKS LIKE WE A' FENCING!

You hire a very strict looking man in period clothing to train grate in the way of the sword. This proves very difficult considering grate's status as a toddler. You give him a tiny little sword regardless and let things work themselves out.

THEY WORK OUT VERY POORLY! THAT LITTLE SHIT JUST SITS THERE AND KEEPS DROPPING IS SPECIALLY MADE SWORD AND DROOLING ALL OVER HIMSELF. ARGH! YOU BLAME THE UNSPECIFIED FEMALE HALF OF THIS CHILD'S GENETIC LINE! YOU NEVER DROOLED! YOU WERE SMOKING A PIPE BY HIS AGE! GRAHH!

I THINK WE HAVE 3 ACTIVITIES LEFT I FORGET!

[Elephant Parade]

GRATE OBVIOUSLY NEEDS NO WEAPONS!

SACRIFICE TWELVE LEGENDARY MONKS TO GRATE!

[smurfingtonthethird]

Find Grates birthgiver and make her do things. FIGHTING THINGS.

Enraged twerking is the most hilarious thing I've thought of in like days.

[Yoink]

Sigh. Why did we try giving a two-year-old a sword, guys? Seriously?

Also, I dunno if reminding Grate's mother of his existence would be a good idea, giving how we're treating him.
Let's do this:

Teach Grate to read.
Using lots of scary stories and ancient mythology and whatever else, just so long as he learns to read.

[The Froggy Ninja]

GRATE OBVIOUSLY NEEDS NO WEAPONS!

SACRIFICE TWELVE LEGENDARY MONKS TO GRATE!

yes