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[LordSlowpoke]

SO YEAH I HANDED THIS OFF TO kj1225 ACT ACCORDINGLY

I'LL UPDATE THE SPOILERS ACCORDINGLY WHEN NEEDED I GUESS
HELLO AND WELCOME TO SHIT, LET'S BE ADVENTURING

THERE ARE RULES TO BE HAD! SIT DOWN, YO.

YOU WILL NEED A RACE. NO RESTRICTIONS ON THIS. GO NUTS.

YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE POWERS. THERE WILL BE LIMITS ON THESE, YOU START WITH NONE.

EVERYONE IS ASSUMED TO KNOW THE STANDARD SIX-SIDED DIE. IT WILL BE THE ONLY DIE USED. TRYING TO EDIT THIS WILL ONLY CAUSE YOU SUFFERING.

THERE WILL BE A MAXIMUM OF SEVEN PLAYERS, BECAUSE SEVEN IS A NICE NUMBER. IF A PLAYER DIES AND IS NOT RESURRECTED FOR FIVE TURNS, A NEW SLOT IS OPENED. THIS PERMAKILLS THE OLD PLAYER.

OH, AND IF A PLAYER DOESN'T POST AN ACTION WITHIN A DAY OF ME POSTING THE PREVIOUS TURN, I'LL SET THEM TO AI MODE. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BE DETERMINED BY SHADY RULES YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW. IN GENERAL, BEING IN AI MODE IS A BAD IDEA. WARNING WILL BE GIVEN IF THEY'RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING ABSURDLY STUPID.

THERE WILL BE A SELECT SPAWN LOCATION AT WHICH YOU WILL APPEAR NO MATTER AT WHICH POINT OF THE GAME YOU JOIN IN. YOU'LL NEED TO CATCH UP TO THE OTHERS, LITERALLY AND IN TERMS OF SKILLS, EQUIPMENT AND WHATEVER ELSE.

Spoiler: SLOT DATA (click to show/hide)

SLOT 0: RESERVED
SLOT 1: DWARVEN DICK DETECTIVE THE DWARF [darkpaladin109]
SLOT 2: MARY ANJOU THE GHOST LADY [USEC_OFFICER]
SLOT 3: DAVE D. DAVIDSON THE HYDRA [The Froggy Ninja]
SLOT 4: KYLE JOHNSON THE MULTIELEMENTAL GODFAIRY [kj1225]
SLOT 5: ARMORK THE BLOOD GOD [Yourmaster]
SLOT 6: AZOL-GATHOG THE ANCIENT SENTIENT SPONGE BEING [Yoink]
SLOT 7: GCAT THE CAT [Sentient Bowtie]

Spoiler: TURN DATA (click to show/hide)

TURN ONE: THE GRASS RUSTLES SOFTLY
TURN TWO: EXPLODING BIRDS
TURN THREE: BLASTLESS BIRD THAT SHOUTS WITH A GERMAN ACCENT
TURN FOUR

Spoiler: LIST OF WAITING (click to show/hide)

SLOT 8: NOT-FLIMSY WIZARD THE MAGICAL ELEPHANT
SLOT 9: TAKAHIRO UEDA THE YUKI-ONNA

STARTING LOCATION: YOU AWAKEN IN TALL GRASS AND HEAR VARIOUS CHIRPING AND TALL GRASS ANIMAL NOISES. THERE IS A WIND. THE WIND IS COLD. IT CHILLS YOU. THE CHILL MAY OR MIGHT NOT BE UNPLEASANT DEPENDENT ON YOUR SELECTED RACE. THERE IS ALSO MUFFLED CHATTERING. IT IS ALSO BRIGHT.

Spoiler: YOU'LL NEED THIS SHEET, TOO (click to show/hide)

NAME: YES
RACE: YES
DESCRIPTION: JUST DON'T GO WRITING ME MORE THAN TWO THOUSAND WORDS OKAY
STARTING ACTION: YES

Spoiler: FOURTH SPOILER (click to show/hide)

it's currently three am and i wanted to make a minimalist magical girl rtd but i quickly realized that'll spiral the fuck out of control faster than a corkscrew connected to a jet turbine

first come first served will apply unless special circumstances (trust me, you won't trigger them)

may or may not be abandoned without prior notice oh well

[darkpaladin109]

IN
Character sheet

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: DWARVEN DICK DETECTIVE
RACE: DWARF
DESCRIPTION: DWARF, PUNCHES PEOPLES FACES A LOT AS FORM OF MEETING, INVESTIGATES DICKS
STARTING ACTION: PUNCH WHOMEVER COMES IMIDEATELY AFTER ME IN FACE TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY

[USEC_OFFICER]

Your all-caps OP has spoken to me, LordSlowpoke. I shall be making a character sheet for your approval soon.

EDIT:

Spoiler: SUBMISSION (click to show/hide)

NAME: Lady Mary Anjou
Gender: Female
RACE: Ghost. The spooky incorporeal kind.
DESCRIPTION: A noble girl who couldn't be older than fourteen when she died. As a ghost she is completely stark white, which saves a lot on make-up and coordinating clothes. Is also French, because why not?
STARTING ACTION: Sit up and take in surroundings.

As the only sane person in the group I shall try to be as sarcastic and unhelpful as possible. You have my word.

[The Froggy Ninja]

IN
Character sheet

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME: DAVE D. DAVIDSON
RACE: HYDRA
DESCRIPTION: HYDRA, CLASY GENTLEMAN BUT DON'T MESS WITH HIS SHIT
STARTING ACTION: BITE THE DWARF WHO DARED PUNCH ME IN THE FACE ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY(I'm establishing superiority in case that wasn't clear)

[kj1225]

IN LIKE FLYNN! And since I remembered a character I liked but didn't get to use to his full potential.

Spoiler: Kyle the drug producing fairy (click to show/hide)

NAME: Kyle Johnson
RACE: Half fairy quater wind god quater cold elemental.
DESCRIPTION: Kyle is the son of a fairy (part of subspecies that produces hallucinogenic fairy dust) and a half wind god half cold elemental. He has brown hair and pointed ears. His wings glow and exude dust when he is content. He takes iron pills to prevent drugging the people around him.
STARTING ACTION: Check iron pills. If none are left then just get up and stop that fucking wind.

[Nirur Torir]

THERE WILL BE A MAXIMUM OF SEVEN PLAYERS, BECAUSE SEVEN IS A NICE NUMBER. IF A PLAYER DIES AND IS NOT RESURRECTED FOR FIVE TURNS, A NEW SLOT IS OPENED. THIS PERMAKILLS THE OLD PLAYER.

This game is entirely too dangerous. Probably fun, but it's just not worth having my potential soul annihilated over a forum game. I'll just watch this, and help muddy up the list of suspects for the incoming police and soulpolice investigators.

[Yourmaster]

ARMORK, GOD OF BLOOD

Race: GOD OF BLOOD
A murderous god prone to destroying and remaking worlds and killing dwarves.

 GET UP
   I WANT BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[Yoink]

NAME: Azol-Gathog
RACE: Ancient Sentient Sponge Being (Absorbs ALL OF THE grease)
DESCRIPTION: A yellow, pock-marked lump of sponge, vaguely rectangular. Has two tiny, yet very hateful green eyes embedded in it with which it sees the world. It doesn't like the world
STARTING ACTION: Absorb all nearby grease and grime.

[SOLDIER First]

NAME: GCat
RACE: Cat
DESCRIPTION: Pure white cat with green tongue and cool green powers.
STARTING ACTION: Lick self.

[LordSlowpoke]

THERE WILL BE A MAXIMUM OF SEVEN PLAYERS, BECAUSE SEVEN IS A NICE NUMBER. IF A PLAYER DIES AND IS NOT RESURRECTED FOR FIVE TURNS, A NEW SLOT IS OPENED. THIS PERMAKILLS THE OLD PLAYER.

This game is entirely too dangerous. Probably fun, but it's just not worth having my potential soul annihilated over a forum game. I'll just watch this, and help muddy up the list of suspects for the incoming police and soulpolice investigators.

ssssshhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH they haven't noticed I think


Turn One

Dwarven Dick Detective v Dave D. Davidson

PUNCH WHOMEVER COMES IMIDEATELY AFTER ME IN FACE TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY

BITE THE DWARF WHO DARED PUNCH ME IN THE FACE ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY

The dwarf opens his eyes and quickly assessed his situation. He doesn't know this area. Therefore, he must not know about the people around him, and must go ahead and greet them in the only way he knows. Unable to punch a ghost, he decides to go for a nearby hydra. [4v2] The hit connects! Superiority is esta- [5v5] Superiority is contested! Dave rushes over to the dwarf with immense ferocity and attempts clasping their face with one of its numerous jaws, yet the dwarf gets away with only a few scratches on his chin.

Lady Mary Anjou

Sit up and take in surroundings.

[5] Good morning, sunshine! In case you are not aware, you are a ghost. The more you know! You do the best you can about sitting up with your current form regardless and take a look at what currently surrounds you.
You appear to be in a field of tall grass, with a small tree popping out of the ground maybe ten meters to the left. You haven't seen any of these before, actually! It's very short, so much that a dwarf could probably reach its crown, but its white-ish trunk is really, really thick.

From your right comes wind, which rustles the tall, dry grass softly. Above you, the crown of the tree obscures most of the vision, yet where it doesn't the light coming in is too bright to see anything else. Behind you, a dwarf and a hydra are having a scuttle. The ground itself appears to be rocking back and forth with their movements.

You appear to be clothed in tattered leather trousers, for whichever reason. So is everyone around you.

Kyle Johnson

Check iron pills. If none are left then just get up and stop that fucking wind.

[N/A] You have no inventory. Checking the iron pills would be pointless. [6] You focus your inner energy and stop the wind from coming. This appears to be working very well, and you are rather proud of yourself until the amassed pressure breaks the power of the spell you've put on it and sends you slamming against a tree trunk. [5] Besides a slight headache, you are unharmed by this ordeal.

Armork

GET UP
  I WANT BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[N/A] New rule: No powers allowed at game entry. [4] You get up and shout "I WANT BLOOD! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!". This has little effect other than startling the various tall grass animals, who begin a swift retreat to locations filled with less angry berserkers.

Azol-Gathog

Absorb all nearby grease and grime.

[6] Without any ado, you begin doing what you are best at. You try absorbing grease, yet there is very little grease. Turning to grime instead, you find that dirt makes excellent grime and begin its absorption. Ten minutes and a meter deep hole later, you find yourself hitting wood. You don't think you can imagine how glad this wood is for finally being as clean as it should be.

GCat

Lick self.

[3] You lick yourself. This appears to have been long overdue, your fur is rather tangled at this point.

Spot/Listen Check:

[2] You don't notice anything of importance.

Status:

Spoiler: Dwarven Dick Detective (click to show/hide)

Dwarf.
Punching a Hydra.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Scratched face.

Spoiler: Mary Anjou (click to show/hide)

Ghost.
Sitting in tall grass.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Dave D. Davidson (click to show/hide)

Hydra.
Contesting superiority.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Kyle Johnson (click to show/hide)

Fairy.
Slammed against tree.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Slight headache.
Dabbling Aeromancer.

Spoiler: Armork (click to show/hide)

God of Blood.
Demanding vital fluids.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Azol-Gathog (click to show/hide)

Sponge.
Digging holes in soil.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: GCat (click to show/hide)

Cat.
Licking self.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

[Yourmaster]

Attack the nearest animal  "This world needs to be destroyed and remade!"

[Yoink]

>Completely clean wooden object.

>Attempt to determine what it is.

[USEC_OFFICER]

As a lady (and a ghost) I can hardly be running around topless.

Create the fanciest ghost dress I can possibly make! Then wear it!

[kj1225]

Oh bugger. Try talking to the ghost chick as she seems to be the only one that isn't crazy.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Pardonnez-moi, garçon! Don't you know eet ees mal élevé to speak weedz a lady wheele elle est déshabillée?

((I may tone down the gratuitous French accent.))