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Author Topic: Your fastest falling fortress?  (Read 2894 times)

FallenJoe

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Your fastest falling fortress?
« on: December 12, 2013, 11:30:11 pm »

Jut wondering what interesting stories everyone else, had a few fortresses that fell quick in evil biomes,  but this one took the prize for me.

Upon unpausing after the initial embark in a temperate forest, the game immediately repaused with a "A forest spider springs from ambush" message. This then repeated another three times.

All four spiders jumped out, sprayed webs everywhere, and devoured 3 pets and all 7 dwarves in less than 45 seconds.



Anyone else got any speed racer worthy fortress failures?   Does not have to be from the start, any sudden collapse due to sudden massive FUN qualifies.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2013, 12:08:13 am »

Instant Giant Badgerstorm at spawn.

So much blood.
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Skuggen

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2013, 02:48:58 am »

"Let's found our settlement here, right in this ogre's face."
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lysaght

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2013, 06:31:50 am »

"A glacier? Lovely. Those Musk-Ox look a bit bony"
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viewtifulrexx

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2013, 07:22:31 am »

"This place doesn't seem so bad. Definitely not 'Terrifying'. Oh hey, the fog's rolling in."
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WoobMonkey

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2013, 08:05:27 am »

'What a pretty purple forest!'

'OH ARMOK THE UNDEAD ROC UN-LIVES HERE!  DAMN THE GOODS, SCATTER!'

...your settlement (well, wagon full of stuff, and scattered remains of dwarfs) has crumbled to its end.
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CharmCrafted

The dog misses the ball!
The ball softly hits Urist McTrainer in the head, breaking the paper-thin skull and denting the non-existent brain!

locustgate

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2013, 12:51:37 pm »

"This place doesn't seem so bad. Definitely not 'Terrifying'. Oh hey, the fog's rolling in."

Same but with X is attacking Y repeated 3 times.
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Mel_Vixen

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2013, 02:01:55 pm »

"It was a good idea to settle between the towers. Look even the neighbors come to great us!"

and

"Lets camp here on this frozen pool." *splash* The ice has Melted
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klefenz

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2013, 10:58:20 pm »

Sometimes i wonder just how did they manage to get the wagon so far.

Man In Zero G

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2013, 12:08:42 am »

"Yes, Urist, I'm positive settling at the top of this volcano is a good idea. Hey, where's all that smoke coming from?"
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Scruffy

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2013, 12:53:07 am »

"Lets camp here on this frozen pool." *splash* The ice has Melted
I have had that happen too

"Yes Urist. Ofcourse it is safe. The river is not going to melt for many weeks. It is perfectly fine to park here"

Also:

"Look Urist! Badgers! Small and hairy. A bit like you. Aren't they cute Urist? Oh, they are coming here. Wait, why are they moving like that? AARGH!"
"Look Urist! Something is flying towards us. Wait, there are more. What are those things? What is that buzzing? Why are you guys running?" Bzzzzzz.....
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Cyroth

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2013, 01:09:27 am »

I once embarked inside a cloud of fog. I unpaused and everyone died instantly.

I also embarked on a mountain once and the moment I unpaused everything (as in the whole site) collapsed and killed everyone including my FPS. The whole thing took about 5 minutes to resolve.
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Demons are preferable to ravens.
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viewtifulrexx

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2013, 05:47:39 am »


I have had that happen too

"Yes Urist. Ofcourse it is safe. The river is not going to melt for many weeks. It is perfectly fine to park here"

Also:

"Look Urist! Badgers! Small and hairy. A bit like you. Aren't they cute Urist? Oh, they are coming here. Wait, why are they moving like that? AARGH!"
"Look Urist! Something is flying towards us. Wait, there are more. What are those things? What is that buzzing? Why are you guys running?" Bzzzzzz.....

Badgers! Curse all friends of nature!

The worst creature-related embark I've ever suffered is when my dorfs were nigh-instantly besieged by a pack of ogres. You might say Urist ogre-stayed his welcome hahaha-I'll go now. :I
« Last Edit: December 14, 2013, 08:45:17 am by viewtifulrexx »
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gtaguy

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2013, 10:07:50 am »

Let's settle here, right on this magma flow!

Good thing was It didn't end there, all of my dwarves had no fat and didn't die from the lava. It was magma when I first embarked however.
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McDonald

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Re: Your fastest falling fortress?
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2013, 10:20:13 am »

I just embarked on an average embark. After unpausing, the game froze for 2 minutes, said "A section of the cavern has collapsed" or sth, then froze for another 10 minutes, most of the map disappeared, froze again for a couple of seconds then crashed.
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