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[hihi2463]

It all started when I was 5 years old me my sister and my best friend cocoa, we we re playing outside of her house on a quiet street in New York. Our parents were inside having coffee as they watched us play in the front.

[Korbac]

It all started when I was 5 years old me my sister and my best friend cocoa, we we re playing outside of her house on a quiet street in New York. Our parents were inside having coffee as they watched us play in the front.

Something I never got to experience... *begins sobbing quietly*

[freeformschooler]

Urge to punctuate... rising...

[Lectorog]

Urge to punctuate... rising...

Punctuation alone cannot make it conform.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

CONFORMITY IS THE BASIS OF ALL THINGS JAMAL, ASSIMILATE!!!

[Caz]

What are these 'friends' you speak of?

[inEQUALITY]

...what is this thread?

[hihi2463]

A life of friends is a book that I am writing I am posting it here to see what other people think about it

[Akroma]

a single sentence is hard to judge


though:


Cocoa a) needs to be capitalized and b) nobody is called that


it's "my sister, my best friend Cocoa and I". Don't put yourself at the beginning of the list.


"quiet street in new york". No such thing. It's new york

[hihi2463]

Cocoa is a nick name and there is on the outskirts of New York   

[hihi2463]

It all started when I was 5 years old me my sister and my best friend cocoa, we we re playing outside of her house on a quiet street in New York. Our parents were inside having coffee as they watched us play in the front. Cocoa went inside to get her favourite doll set just after she opened the door, the kitchen caught on fire.

[Akroma]

again, not much to judge.


is there a rough synopsis?

[hihi2463]

Hey I 'me still working on it and I wasn't looking for an editor I was wanting to know how good it is all my family likes it but I want to know is the public would


It all started when I was 5 years old me my sister and my best friend cocoa, we we re playing outside of her house on a quiet street in New York. Our parents were inside having coffee as they watched us play in the front. Cocoa went inside to get her favourite doll set just after she opened the door, the kitchen caught on fire. I ran inside to get Cocoa I dashed down her hall then into her room, I found her sitting in the far corner of her room close to the window

[Akroma]

how can we judge how good it is when we only get a sentence at a time?

[Darkmere]

1) Fix your formatting and punctuation.
2) Finish the work.
3) Write a synopsis of the finished work after you do a line-by-line pass at editing on your own.
4) Post the synopsis first.