FIFTH HOUR OF SIEGE
[1] THE NOISE ABRUPTLY STOPS. HUH.
SWIM AWAY FROM THE STYX AND PULL LENIN OUT WITH ME! CHAAAAAARGE!
[1] SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE HOLDING YOU IN THE UNDERWORLD.
Take over every industrial building in the vicinity. Begin construction of RED BATTLEPLANE ROKOSSOVSKY. In the meantime, bid Native Americans to use their powers to summon the spirit of Commander Schors, and the cavalry of my ancestors. Use that to estabilish dominance over Eastern district.
[2] THE FACTORY WORKERS ARE WELL PAID AND COZY IN THEIR POSITIONS. THEY HAVE NO INTEREST IN A REVOLUTION. [1] YOU BEGIN BUILDING THE BATTLEPLANE IN THE HQ SQUARE INSTEAD. DURING INSTALLATION OF THE ENGINE, IT EXPLODES, TAKING DOWN A BIG CHUNK OF YOUR ENGINEERS. [2] THE NATIVE AMERICANS ARE TOO BUSY FIGHTING TO THE DEATH WITH NETHERBEASTS TO CONSIDER ANYTHING ELSE.
TEACH CYBORG TESLA THE WAYS OF THE LIGHTNING FIST OF THE NORTH MOON. WITH OUR SKILLS EQUALIZED, CHALLENGE TO FISTFIGHT. ATATATATATATATATA.
[1] YOU CHARGE AT CYBORG TESLA. CYBORG TESLA TURNS AROUND, SHIVS OUT YOUR PANCREAS AND CHOKES YOU WITH IT. RESPAWN?
Keep on watching those lighttrees. Slay any motherfucker that threatens them.
[3] YOU PREEMPTIVELY ANNIHILATE A FEW BUGS WHICH WERE NEAR THE LIGHTTREES. THEY SEEM TO BE GROWING RATHER FAST NOW.
RESPAWN BY RIPPING MY WAY OUT OF THE BITCH'S CHEST CAVITY.
[1] YOU RIP YOUR WAY OUT OF THE BITCH TO FIND YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A LARGER BITCH. THIS ONE MAKES SURE TO CHEW YOU PROPERLY. RESPAWN?
BECOME OVERWHELMED WITH SORROW AFTER WITNESSING THE GODDESSES' DEATH AND HAVE LONG, BORING FLASHBACKS OF TIMES SPENT WITH HER LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A SHITTY ANIME THAT TAKES TOO MANY EPISODES. AS A RESULT, BE OVERCOME WITH ANGER AND RUSH CYBORG TESLA WITH KNIFE THAT'S NOW POWERED BY VENGEANCE AND LOVE™.
IF I GET STABBED, HAVE AN EMOTIONAL DYING SPEECH BEFORE I TAKE OFF MY MASK TO REVEAL THAT HE WAS FIGHTING HIS BEST FRIEND ALL ALONG, MAKING TESLA WEEP ELECTROTEARS AND POSSIBLY DEFECT TO OUR SIDE.
EDIT:
[1] YOU FIND YOURSELF UNABLE TO CARE. YOU'RE A BAD PALADIN, YOU KNOW. [1] CYBORG TESLA HAS ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT AND PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
YOUR IMPRESSION HAS BEEN SWIPED, LABELED AND THROWN INTO THE FANARTS ARCHIVE. HUZZAH.
convert nether beasts to communism, if they refuse and attack, kill them. Start more recruitment and take over the northern corner. produce great tanks with REAL SOVIET POWER!!!! Also see the effects of me killing a goddess.
[4] COMMUNIST NETHERBEASTS. WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE. [1] YOUR RECRUITS SCATTER, DIE OR EMPLOY VARIOUS DISAPPEARING TECHNIQUES AFTER THE NETHERBEASTS ARE RECRUITED. [5] DUE TO ABSENCE OF HUMAN RECRUITS, NETHERTANKS ARE CONSTRUCTED. THE NORTHERN DISTRICT IS UNDER TOO FIRM CONTROL TO BE DIRECTLY ASSAULTED, HOWEVER. [1] THE PLANES ARE FUCKING PISSED. THEY SMITE YOU, WHICH KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
Oh, he did not antagonize a giant dragon made of gold.
Step on Cyborg Tesla. Crushingly.
[6] YOU BEGIN CRUSHING CYBORG TESLA. THIS PROPERLY PISSES OFF THE ALREADY MIFFED CYBORG TESLA, WHO ACTIVATES THE BIONIC MUSCLE ARRAY. [5] THEY GIVE HIM A +1 TO COMBAT ROLLS FOR AN INDEFINITE DURATION. HE ALSO THROWS YOU OFF.
Respawn as Straight Up Original Gangsta' Mark Twain.
Equip Bandanna and AK47.
Educate the Nazis on literacy and other values.
[6] THE ELECTRIC NAZIS FIGURE THAT THEY MIGHT AS WELL READ SOMETHING BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN DOWN TO THE RAISING CHILDREN PART. THE NORTHERN PART OF TOWN IS VACATED OF ELECTRIC NAZI, BUT CYBORG TESLA REMAINS.
BOMB THE THE STRONGHOLLLLDD TELL ITS UNDER BOMBER CONTROL! FOR THE BOMBERS!
[6] YOU CRASH INTO THE STRONGHOLD, BOMB IT FRON THE INSIDE, THEN FLY OUT, BOMB IT FROM THE OUTSIDE, AND FINISH OFF WITH DROPPING AN OIL TANKER ON TOP OF IT. MOMENTS LATER THE OIL IS ON FIRE. JOB DONE.
Join the Red. Become a demigod kungfu monk of epic.
[1] A NETHERBEAST TANK SHOOTS YOU IN THE FACE. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
Continue casually devestating Nazis, consider the oddness of the divine spawn, attempt to query divine Savrtia as to the nature of her creations(After all, I don't know that poketwo killed the goddess)
[2] THE ELECTRIC NAZIS HAVE BECOME STEALTHY ELECTRIC NAZIS. THERE ARE NONE TO BE FOUND. [2] WHAT THIS DIVINE SPAWN IS PERFECTLY FINE THERE'S TOTALLY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT NO SIREE [1] DUE TO A PLANAR SHITSTORM CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS YOU CALL UP THE WRONG GOD AND ARE SUDDENLY SURROUNDED BY SHARPENED CARROTS. THE WEIGHT OF THE CARROTS CRUSHES YOUR TANK AND EVERYTHING WITHIN. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
RESPAWN WITH A DRAGON OF RUBBER ORIGINS. MOUNT DRAGON WITH RUBBER EXPLODING PELLET GATLING GUN, DESTROY ALL ELECTRIC NAZI.
[2] YOU RESPAWN WITH A TOY DRAGON AND [3] A RIOT GATLING GUN. [4] AS NON-LETHAL AS IT IS, IT'S SOMEWHAT EFFECTIVE AT DESTROYING THE ELECTRIC NAZI.
FINE, IF THE BOMBS WILL NOT COOPERATE, THEN BOMB THE BOMBS
[1] YOUR BRILLIANT IDEA TO BOMB THE BOMBS ENDS UP WITH YOU APPLYING A BOMB TO THE FACE OF A BOMB AT CLOSE RANGE. YOU CAN'T EXACTLY SEE WHICH ONE EXPLODES, BUT IT KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
FINE, IF THE BOMBS WILL NOT COOPERATE, THEN BOMB THE BOMBS
Question action.
[1] YOU RUN INTO THE BOMB WAREHOUSE AND GET CAUGHT IN THE BLAST. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
TCM: THE MOST EDUCATIONAL PALADIN TO EVER EDUCATE IN COMBAT
Harry Baldman: DEDICATED TO LIGHTTREES
NullForceOmega: INTRODUCING THE STEALTHELECTRONAZI
Remuthra: *siiiiiiiiiiip*
Grahamagara: SUSTAINING A STYX SWIMMING EXTRAVAGANZA
Objective: TEACHING BOMBS HOW TO BOMBS
Krath: THROWING A LIFE AWAY TO PUNCH TESLA IN THE FACE
GreatWyrmGold: RUNNING INTO AN EXPLODING BOMB WAREHOUSE
BeruangSarkis: DENIED A DRAMATIC SEQUENCE
DarkArtemisFowl: RIDING NOT THAT KIND OF A DRAGON TOY
Gamerlord: INTENSELY CONSUMED
POTATO SOUP GOLEM
????
poketwo: EXPERIENCING THE JOYS OF A PLANAR STORM
Avis-Mergulus: NEGOTIATING WITH NATIVE AMERICANS
aattss: VICTIM OF FRIENDLY FIRE
~100 NETHERBEASTS IN ARMORED VEHICLES
Errol: RESUPPLYING SELF
UNTEROFFIZIER WILHELM POELZ
CYBORG TESLA +1
????
wer6: PROFESSIONALLY DESTROYING THE MAIN HEADQUARTERS OF RESISTANCE
WESTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 100% ELECTRIC NAZI, 0% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (DESTROYED)
MAIN TOWN: 81% ELECTRIC NAZI, 19% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: RUBBLE
NORTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (BREACHED)
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 99% PALADIN, 1% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (LIGHTLY DAMAGED)
EASTERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 32% ELECTRIC NAZI, 68% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION (DAMAGED)
MAIN TOWN: 3% ELECTRIC NAZI, 72% PALADIN, 25% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (LIGHTLY DAMAGED)
SOUTHERN QUARTER:
OUTER WALLS: 5% ELECTRIC NAZI, 97% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: FORTIFICATION
MAIN TOWN: 0% ELECTRIC NAZI, 100% PALADIN, 0% RED CONTROL
TERRAIN: URBAN (FORTIFIED)
STRONGHOLD:
100% NO MAN'S LAND
TERRAIN: BURNING WASTELAND
including procrastination, this turn took about 3 hours. without it less than 30 minutes woop woop
i should probably mess with the rules a little so a 1 doesn't mean instant death
i mean how many people were killed this turn
five? especially with what's happening that's ridiculous but then a single 6 shouldn't be allowed to engage in plotfuckery either
hmm...
also: rule change of the day - changing factions doesn't require a roll anymore. if we ever establish faction leaders, it may require consent of the leader. details tba
oh, and watch the goddamn town map somehow become ridiculously detailed as i need to keep track of how well this shit is doing (it's essentially the score of everyone involved)
[4] SENSE ROLL: THE SUN IS SETTING AND THE CLOUDS ARE SWIRLY. IT SHOULD BE DARK BY THE END OF THE NEXT HOUR.
Author
Topic: ELECTIC NAZI SIEGE - ANNIHILATION INTENSIFIES; THE LIGHT AWAKENS (Read 26256 times)