Manage accountants.
(1) Congratulations on bankrupting the Accountant Dimension! You are now in debt to the Mafia Dimension.
Make laser sword. Lead slave rebellion against galactic empire.
(3) You steal the other guy's laser pointer.
Get 'Bec Noir' upgrade.
Lead Rebellion to success.
(5) You get the things, but you can't split off from the Empire, because Darth Washington will smite you.
Send Yoda Puppet Army to crush all who oppose me.
Seduce Elder Gods
(5) You crush the fanboys with the power of Moichandising. Then you marry a beautiful elder goddess with flowing tentacles. You become King of the Gods!
Hunt down elephant parade and take his ivory soul!
Make sure little wolfy-poo doesn't go hungry! Ensure he gets enough fiber!
You don't know where he is!
Make delicious tartar sauce. Use sauce to bribe denizens to let me out.
You don't know the recipe for tartar sauce, because you aren't a tartar!
Assist Darth Washington with hand things. Suggest we invade Hell and kill the dice curse (y'know, since it seems inevitable we'll end up there ).
(6) You mess up a bit and slap Darth Washington in the face.
Make this universe follow the logic of Not-Bay12.
This universe never did follow the logic of Bay 12, but it starts to when you ask about it.
find way out of hell then become leader of Uk.
Hades backhands you and tells you to stop complaining.
Might as well try.
Actually, you might as well not, because you, like all who enter hell, are being afflicted with a curse which causes you to fail at everything you attempt.