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[LordSlowpoke]

YOU WANT TO FLY TO MOON

HOW DO

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Minimalist RTD, bastard GM edition. I won't tamper with the rolls but I'll be damned if you get to that moon. Try to surprise me though.

[squidgen]

Hire kerbals to build rocket.

[Nirur Torir]

Consult with Chinese space agency.

[Lalasa]

Ask Soviet Russia for help.

[Lenglon]

Restart Project Orion

[LordSlowpoke]

TURN THE FIRST

Hire kerbals to build rocket.

[4] KERBALS HIRED. [6] THEY TAKE ALL YOUR CASH, STRUT IT TOGETHER AND SET IT ON FIRE. IT LAUNCHES SPECTACULARLY. YOU MUNCH ON SOME POPCORN AS YOU WATCH IT SOAR.

Consult with Chinese space agency.

[3] SPACE AGENCY CONSULTED. INSIGHT GAINED. KNOWLEDGE OF MANDARIN AMPLIFIED.

Ask Soviet Russia for help.

[1] YOU ARE SHOT OUT OF A CANNON. YOU REACH STRATOSPHERE. ALSO, YOU DIE. RESPAWN?

Restart Project Orion

[1] AS YOU WERE BUYING PLUTONIUM FROM EBAY FOR YOUR PROPULSION SYSTEM, A SPIDER FINDS ITS WAY INTO YOUR NOSE. YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE. YOU MISS THE SPIDER. ALSO, YOU DIE. RESPAWN?

Spoiler: STATUS (click to show/hide)

MOON: CHILLIN'

SQUIDGEN: EATING POPCORN
NIRUR TORIR: MORE INSIGHTFUL THAN LATE NIGHT TUMBLR
LALASA: CONTRIBUTING TO THE SEPTEMBER CANNONSHOOTING MARATHON
LENGLON: ENJOYING SPIDERBROS

[Lenglon]

new plan: don't bring me to the moon, bring the moon to me. build super-powerfull harpoon gun.

[squidgen]

Strut kerbals together and use as rocket.

[Lalasa]

Yes respawn.  Then use the minions from "Despicable Me" to build me a rocket.

[Dorsidwarf]

Get a really big pogo stick!

[LordSlowpoke]

TURN THE SECOND

new plan: don't bring me to the moon, bring the moon to me. build super-powerfull harpoon gun.

[6] WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS YOU PRODUCE THE HARPOON GUN WHOSE QUALITY WILL BE TOLD IN LEGENDS. IT EVEN ATTRACTS SHARKS. DID I MENTION YOU'RE AT SEA. [4] THE SHARKS DIDN'T ARRIVE JUST YET.

Strut kerbals together and use as rocket.

[6] THE KERBALS ARE STRUTTED. THE ROCKET IS MADE. IT FLIES OFF INTO THE DISTANCE. THIS SEEMS TO BE A RECURRING TREND.

Yes respawn.  Then use the minions from "Despicable Me" to build me a rocket.

[3] SURE, WHY NOT. [3] YOU END UP WITH A FAIRLY MEDIOCRE ROCKET. IT IS YELLOW AND PEAR-SHAPED.

Get a really big pogo stick!

[6] YOU PROCURE THE BIGGEST POGO STICK, BUT SOME NERDLORD THOUGHT IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A TWO KILOMETER SPRING OUT OF WIRE. THE STICK BREAKS. YOUR FACE HITS THE GROUND. YOUR FACE IS BROKEN. IT IS GENERALLY UNPLEASANT.

We have lifdoff!

[4] SHIT, YOU DO. [5] YOU REACH 80 KILOMETERS WITH RELATIVE EASE, BEGINNING TO CIRCULARIZE.

Spoiler: STATUS (click to show/hide)

MOON: SHOWING OFF ITS CRATERS LIKE A CHAMP

KERBALS: PROFESSIONAL ASTRONAUTS, CIRCULARIZING ORBIT

SQUIDGEN: SINGLEHANDEDLY FUNDING WHOLE SPACE PROGRAMS
NIRUR TORIR: MANDARIN_SKILL++;
LALASA: SUCCESSFUL IN MEDIOCRITY
LENGLON: PLAYING MACGYVER IN HOSTILE WATERS
DORSIDWARF: FONDLY REGARDING SOIL

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

i'm so fucking done with random.org after this post

[squidgen]

What is this "distance" my rockets keep flying into? Strut it together, make it a rocket, and follow kerbals.

[Lalasa]

Lift off in a generic manner that doesn't get recorded because it isn't interesting.

[Lenglon]

Fire upon the moon! then start reeling it in. recruit sharks to help pull it in

[Cheesecake]

Go to Mars. Ask Martians to help me go to the moon.