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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 271046 times)

Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3075 on: November 24, 2014, 12:06:40 pm »

I'm good. I think I tried to break a cardinal rule of magic and failed horribly. Remind me to try that again later.
*ahem*
Anyway. Yes I've got some useful spells now, but the pink voice said I shouldn't do what I did for a while again, so I'll stick with what I've got. What spells do you have right now, Pete?
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3076 on: November 24, 2014, 12:24:24 pm »

I'm good. I think I tried to break a cardinal rule of magic and failed horribly. Remind me to try that again later.
*ahem*
Anyway. Yes I've got some useful spells now, but the pink voice said I shouldn't do what I did for a while again, so I'll stick with what I've got. What spells do you have right now, Pete?


"I can commune with angels, create a sphere of extradimensional desks, summon up a shield of stupefying corn, call upon some bristly tits, and last of all summon a platoon of fragrant poets! Now if only I could obtain a platoon of angels, then I'd be set for life. It's what I'm trying to get, you see. I almost forgot I could focus on angels ever since I drank from the leyline! How wonderful this existence has become, that I may speak with the wondrous messengers of God with but a thought and an errant word?"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3077 on: November 24, 2014, 12:29:11 pm »

Yes, I admit that calling upon angels, or a platoon of them, would be very handy. Just be sure to keep that corn shield. Otherwise, I don't see why you can't try for it. I'll wait.
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3078 on: November 24, 2014, 12:57:10 pm »

Quote
And it's not like magic's a terribly well-kept secret, right, John?

"I get the distinct impression that nobody is really trying to keep it a secret. Rather, people just seem to be averse to acknowledging it's there, even when it's right in front of them. I mean, that mancow was wearing a straw hat and playing some weird instrument in broad daylight, but nobody even spared him a second glance." John says, trying not to slur his words too obviously.
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3079 on: November 24, 2014, 02:41:49 pm »

"Wicked.  Maybe that's why I can't find Cal.  Anyway, sure, let's go."

Go
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3080 on: November 25, 2014, 06:05:01 am »

Yes, I admit that calling upon angels, or a platoon of them, would be very handy. Just be sure to keep that corn shield. Otherwise, I don't see why you can't try for it. I'll wait.

Hungry Pete resumes tripping, returning to sensibility in a short bit.

"No luck yet! Hm."

He then tries again, coming out significantly happier.

"Ah! Now I seem to be on to something! Not quite what I want, but could work! It may be risky, though!"

"I get the distinct impression that nobody is really trying to keep it a secret. Rather, people just seem to be averse to acknowledging it's there, even when it's right in front of them. I mean, that mancow was wearing a straw hat and playing some weird instrument in broad daylight, but nobody even spared him a second glance." John says, trying not to slur his words too obviously.

"Pretty much, I guess, though I suppose I wouldn't spare a weird-ass hobo busker a glance myself. After all, said weird-ass hobo could glance back and communicate some disease to me or something."

"So, uh, you two are... magicians?" the waitress asks.

"Wizards," Pilton corrects. "And I'm sure you have a lot of important questions, but I think I have a good way to fast track that whole thing."

He turns to look at you again.

"You want to give her magic or should I?" he asks nonchalantly. The waitress is disquieted by this.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2014, 06:17:59 am by Harry Baldman »
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3081 on: November 25, 2014, 09:24:37 am »

"I'll have to let you take the lead here, I'm afraid. Mister Lee just sort of pushed these weird magazines in our hands and called it a day. My mind went blank and I kind of lost some memories when I read it, but I'm pretty sure he never actually told us how to give magic to others. So, if you'd be so kind?"

John says politely, paying close attention to what mister Pilton is about to do.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3082 on: November 25, 2014, 09:44:57 pm »

What is it?
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3083 on: November 26, 2014, 06:40:27 am »

What is it?

"I now have two spells of interest - one to engulf a person in spiky angels of pure acetylsalicylic acid, then set said angels aflame! Untested, of course, but I have faith that the results may be quite impressive, and also probably very handy in the mandated murder of any perfidious profligates standing in our way."

"Now the question at hand seems to be this - have you a way to keep the murderous mercurial profligate from stabbing us to death while I do this?"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3084 on: November 26, 2014, 06:52:33 am »

I can summon a platoon of female pork monarchs for him to slaughter to buy us time. I can also now summon a tornado of lard that self-replicates in addition to my watermelon storm!
And if he gets very close to us, there's something called a wall of enchanted traffic lights I can call into being. It seems handy.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3085 on: November 26, 2014, 06:56:45 am »

I can summon a platoon of female pork monarchs for him to slaughter to buy us time. I can also now summon a tornado of lard that self-replicates in addition to my watermelon storm!
And if he gets very close to us, there's something called a wall of enchanted traffic lights I can call into being. It seems handy.


"Perfection! Shall we move in now, or will you call in the platoon beforehand?"
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3086 on: November 26, 2014, 07:01:18 am »

I believe I shall call in the platoon beforehand. Always prepare before violently murdering someone with flaming acid, my mother always told me.

Summon Platoon of Foreign Pork Queens!
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3087 on: November 26, 2014, 07:13:21 am »

I believe I shall call in the platoon beforehand. Always prepare before violently murdering someone with flaming acid, my mother always told me.

Summon Platoon of Foreign Pork Queens!

[Affinity roll: 1-->2+1]

You concentrate on the ground near the stairwell, and miraculously a middle-aged woman garbed in a massively heavy-looking dress made out of meat, a crown of the same resting on her head, a powerful macelike scepter in her hand. A short outburst of gobbledygook escapes her lips, and she lifts up her non-scepter hand toward you, on it you notice a rather sizable ring. She turns her head upward a little, shutting her eyes with great gravity.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3088 on: November 26, 2014, 07:18:10 am »

Hmm. That didn't work to the extent that it should have. Let me try again.

Kiss the ring in the polite fashion, then apply the Niklas principle: if something, in this case the spell, didn't succeed, try again!
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #3089 on: November 26, 2014, 07:36:54 am »

Hmm. That didn't work to the extent that it should have. Let me try again.

Kiss the ring in the polite fashion, then apply the Niklas principle: if something, in this case the spell, didn't succeed, try again!

The ring leaves the taste of raw pork on your lips, which you find inexplicably delicious at this hour. The queen then offers the hand to Hungry Pete, who does the same, adding a gentlemanly kneel to further the effect. The queen looks rather satisfied before taking a look around and noticing that she appears to be bereft of minions and also currently inside a disreputable establishment full of exposed flesh and other crude things. She looks at Hungry Pete, beckoning him, then you to follow offhandedly as she starts walking downstairs. You pay her no particular mind as you commence the second casting of the spell, trying to figure out where exactly did the whole platoon thing go wrong.

[Affinity roll: 3+2]

You figure it was a power issue, and voila, pouring more power into it seems to have solved the problem! The entire stairwell is immediately filled with a number of queens somewhere between twenty and thirty, of disparate ages (from barely adult to some really old biddies having trouble with their pork regalia) and looks, though each seems to have quite a bit of dignity to her nevertheless. They waste no time getting into a formation inasmuch as the staircase allows, preparing to go wherever you may lead them.

"Splendid!" says Hungry Pete, attracting the attention of the first queen, who looks slightly scandalized at not being obviously the most important person in the room anymore, gaping at the sudden appearance of at least twenty nobles of equal status. When they do not all demand to have their rings kissed by the two peasants within the next five seconds, she barely suppresses a shocked gasp.
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