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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 273314 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2370 on: July 24, 2014, 05:01:45 pm »

Dave, though he is hardly prepared at all, commences the casting of the spell regardless, summoning up a smut barrier to block off the master's approach.

[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]

A black, floury mound begins to rise before one of the banks of the rivers in front of him, directly standing in the way of the underwear master's approach - it increases in size, becoming very much like a wall, complicating the master's approach.

[Underwear Master's body roll: 5+1]

Not overly so, of course, since it isn't a very tall barrier, and it seems absolutely overjoyed at somebody being ingenious enough to bound over it, and the underwear master is delayed for but a step by its presence, perhaps not even that - within moments, it is right next to Dave!

[Underwear Master vs. Dave: 3+1 vs. 3-1]

With one hand it picks up Dave by the clown, which is very uncomfortable and which Dave would prefer that the creature stop doing, since it's not good for his spine and why is it staring contemplatively at him it's wondering how best to kill him isn't it would it please stop oh dear he's going to die now isn't he.

* * * * *

Pronouncing things such as disintegrating letters "probably not all that important", John continues to search the room for valuables, and it takes him only the small step to the next drawer to locate something of interesting - some kind of ledger or record or whatever, filled with names. They look like patient files, various documentation, all manner of things, but with a little twist to them - there's actually only two names in them. One is Dr. James. The other is Mary, who seems to be the patient in all instances.

He finds it slightly spooky, and wonders if he should continue searching. Maybe there's more stuff like this in there, stuff he doesn't really want to find.

* * * * *

Finding the drink before him most appealing, THE DUNKER half-eats, half-drinks the concoction, only to discover that it is actually more delicious than it seemed at first glance. Almost as good as donuts, in fact. And the three quarters of a pint of wine he just swallowed round out the experience quite nicely. It's not classy, but it sure is a drink that gladdens the soul and goes right to the hips, like all good things in life.

"Is that any good?" Joanie asks, looking at the curious beverage while sipping her wine.

"Look at him. He loves it," Nigel says, finishing his own drink within moments.

"I was thinking maybe I should have one. Hey, bartender, give me one of what he had," she says, turning to the bartender, who quickly fixes one up for her.

"Just be careful there, girl. It's less wine than it looks like, but it does go your head quickly," he says, handing it to the girl, who immediately sets her current drink aside and commences the dreating. Eanking? Something of that sort. She does rather well on it, too, her pace none too shabby, and pretty soon she's done, putting the empty glass down.

"Say, that is really good," Joanie says, smiling.

"Amazing. You didn't even fall out of your chair."

* * * * *

Always helpful in these matters, Larry commences the pornographic vomiting he is known and loved for without hesitation.

[Larry's affinity roll: 6-->3+2]

A slightly sore feeling builds in his throat as his entire digestive system convulses, propelling a steady stream of gentlemen's literature out of his suddenly widened maw, creating another pile even larger and smuttier than the previous within moments, followed by a short pause, and then ended with a powerful cough that makes one last couple of mags shoot out. Fortunately, the best thing about magic is that the feeling of a huge amount of risque material erupting forth from his esophagus is something all too easy to forget in the wake of the amazing feeling providing such a party favor brings afterward.

"That wath even better than latht time."

"Indeed impressive! Now, let's see here," the angel begins to dig through the new pile, joined by Beagle.

"What were you looking for, again?" the Oldthinker wonders, stepping closer to the pile.

"This one issue! It's got Steve on the cover."

"Thteve? Ithn't he dead?"

"Well, yeah, he is, but that's not the point!"

"I can thee a pretty good theraph ithue from here."

"Eh, those are good for a laugh, but not much more."

* * * * *

Eta, freely trusting an officer of the law like any responsible citizen, follows readily, because that's what you do in these situations. The walk there is unsteady on account of Lois, and the streets look relatively empty, with a few more or less cautious pedestrians walking around more or less cautiously, and a few cars making their way around the neighborhood every few minutes.

"You shouldn't really be investigating any sites of recent unexplained activity, ma'am," the officer reminds her as they make their way down the street. "They can be very dangerous - it took us a lot of time to catch all the sasquatch things who were running around the neighborhood previously, and some still escaped, like the one right there in the front yard," she says, pointing at the hairy humanoid still chewing on a bone of some sort. "If it became aggressive, it could have seriously hurt you. The curfew's there for a reason - we don't know what's happening right now, but it is very clear that a lot of it poses a danger to the regular citizen."

They continue walking, reaching what is very obviously the police precinct quite quickly - within the group are met by a minimalist interior populated by rather disgruntled, peeved and just plain confused police officers, as well as a frazzled receptionist, and the officer leads the two of them past all that, to a none-too-isolated desk, where she sits down and pulls up two currently unoccupied chairs for Eta and Lois to sit down as well.

The officer, whose name tag, much more readable under this lighting than in the shabby illumination of the overcast sky out there, informs Eta that her last name seems to be Rieux, her first initial is an I, and that her rank is that of a sergeant, starts up a rather antiquated computer sitting next to her. While an equally antiquated operating system loads, she fetches a notepad and a pen.

"Now, first things first, if you'd be so kind as to tell me your name," she asks. "And your friend's name as well, if you don't mind."
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2371 on: July 24, 2014, 05:12:50 pm »

((Why isn't anyone worried about my ability to kill/severely damage angels and my pact with what appear to be demons?))
"You asked for it bro."Engulf in Enchanted Angel Ghosts
Spoiler: dave (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: July 24, 2014, 05:14:38 pm by The Froggy Ninja »
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2372 on: July 24, 2014, 08:07:32 pm »

((Welp, this is it. Let's find out which terrible thing happens first. My personal favourites are blowing up everything with a giant Thylacine pillar and trying to bribe the officer with golden high heels only to be shot at in response.))

Okay, just stay calm. They've got their own problems. I'll just answer any questions they make as truthfully as I can and hope they find something more important to worry about. Who knows? If I'm lucky, maybe the information I give them will end up helping them. Yeah, they are working for the greater good, so any help I give them will end up benefiting everyone.

"I'm Henrietta R. Hippo and this is Lois- " Uuuh, wait, what was her last name again? I gave her one, right? Uhh... Lawyer, Lois, Lawis, Law is, Law is... Law is Justice! Lois- "- Justice. Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss..." Eta paused as she looked at her name tag again to make sure she got the name right. "Miss Rieux."

((Oh, hey I figured out another way it can get worst! They tie Henrietta to those missing detectives investigating Pilton.))

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2373 on: July 24, 2014, 09:08:03 pm »

"Yeah, this magic shit's pretty sweet.  Who's this Steve fellow?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2374 on: July 25, 2014, 12:40:47 am »

Congratulations! the DUNKER says to ... Joanne? Joanie? Joanie, before being interrupted by his stomach paging him. He turns to the bartender.

Got any donuts in this place?
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2375 on: July 25, 2014, 04:19:57 am »

"I'm Henrietta R. Hippo and this is Lois- " Uuuh, wait, what was her last name again? I gave her one, right? Uhh... Lawyer, Lois, Lawis, Law is, Law is... Law is Justice! Lois- "- Justice. Pleased to make your acquaintance Miss..." Eta paused as she looked at her name tag again to make sure she got the name right. "Miss Rieux."

The officer smiles pleasantly and nods while making notes of what you just said.

"Likewise, ma'am. Where do the two of you work, if I may ask?"

"Yeah, this magic shit's pretty sweet.  Who's this Steve fellow?"

"Used to be a weird giant ostrich thing with a whole lot of heads. Sounded like a dinosaur."

"No telling what he'll reform ath, though."

"Or when he'll be back, either. It gets kind of confusing when you're-aha!" the angel says, triumphantly retrieving a single mag. On the cover you see Steve, who you realize is the same thing that had a problem with Halesey on the Moon, and with this realization you become overly aware of the strange fact that you've been to the Moon, and currently are on Saturn, which probably makes you at the very least a junior space explorer.

Congratulations! the DUNKER says to ... Joanne? Joanie? Joanie, before being interrupted by his stomach paging him. He turns to the bartender.

Got any donuts in this place?

"Yes, ordered quite a few just yesterday. Any preferences?"
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2376 on: July 25, 2014, 04:27:24 am »

((Uh, I've never stated Eta's profession and it has never come up before. Do I just say whatever I want (within reason) and assume it's true? Or do I say she's unemployed? Or do I just post an action saying "Reply truthfully" and it gets abstracted?))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2377 on: July 25, 2014, 04:35:00 am »

((Uh, I've never stated Eta's profession and it has never come up before. Do I just say whatever I want (within reason) and assume it's true? Or do I say she's unemployed? Or do I just post an action saying "Reply truthfully" and it gets abstracted?))

Well, I'd prefer if you stated a definite answer (and yes, it will be assumed that you're telling the truth unless you state otherwise), although abstraction also works.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2378 on: July 25, 2014, 04:48:45 am »

No, beyond 'the more the better'.
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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2379 on: July 25, 2014, 10:14:16 am »

"So... does he die and come back?  Does he hold grudges?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2380 on: July 25, 2014, 10:27:48 am »

No, beyond 'the more the better'.

The bartender ducks down and produces a box of donuts, about three-quarters full right now. Most of them are glazed, some have sprinkles, a few are bare.

"So... does he die and come back?  Does he hold grudges?"

"Yeah, he'll come back. And most people who come back don't hold grudges, since we're supposed to be angels and all, but Steve might. Steve's kind of..."

"He'th kind of a dick that way."

"Pretty much. Not as bad as the old crowd, of course, but still," she says, leafing through the mag. "Ah, here we are! Check it out, old man," she says, showing the Oldthinker a certain page in the mag.

"Oh, thath what you were looking for!" the Oldthinker says, grinning.
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2381 on: July 25, 2014, 10:32:48 am »

((I originally imagined Eta as some working as some kind of teacher when I created her, although now I see that her character fits more with those of those idealistic reporters you see in movies that are always snooping around, looking for new things, the next big scoop, the one that will make the headlines. Would certainly give her a reason for getting involved with and investigating magic other than "It's fun." Plus, I know people working in a newspaper, so I might be able to leverage ideas from that. So, in short, if there are no disagreements, Eta is now a reporter.))

"I work as a freelance reporter. I've written a few things here and there, politics, lifestyle, anything I could sell, but nothing major. Maybe you've happened to read my name somewhere, if you're observant."
Eta looked at Lois for a moment. She decided to continue speaking for her, both due to the fact that Lois wasn't in a very good condition and because Lois didn't really knew all that much due to her nature.
"Lois here is a Lawyer, but she's unemployed at the moment. You know how the economy is these days. Anyway, she's been helping me with my research." Technically true, since she is my research.

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2382 on: July 25, 2014, 10:40:30 am »

"Is that one of those pages that causes most people to burst into flame?  Because Halesey found one of those.  It was stapled shut, at least."
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2383 on: July 25, 2014, 10:46:09 am »

"I work as a freelance reporter. I've written a few things here and there, politics, lifestyle, anything I could sell, but nothing major. Maybe you've happened to read my name somewhere, if you're observant."
Eta looked at Lois for a moment. She decided to continue speaking for her, both due to the fact that Lois wasn't in a very good condition and because Lois didn't really knew all that much due to her nature.
"Lois here is a Lawyer, but she's unemployed at the moment. You know how the economy is these days. Anyway, she's been helping me with my research." Technically true, since she is my research.

((No disagreements there.))

"I've never really heard of your work, but I don't exactly keep up with the news, either. Do you have a blog, maybe?"

"But anyway, you said you found out something about these... leylines, as you called them. Can you elaborate on any of that?"


"Is that one of those pages that causes most people to burst into flame?  Because Halesey found one of those.  It was stapled shut, at least."

"Oh no, thothe are theraph ithueth."

"Yeah, they send mortals on the fast track to heaven simply from looking at them. Naked seraphim, man. But this is harmless. Just something I'm kind of proud of," the angel says, handing you the mag. Looking at it, you begin to understand why she was looking for it - this particular issue's bonus feature appears to be a shoot featuring her. She looks pretty good in it. And more than a little different from her current appearance, partly because she's got no clothes on in it. Also, it has her name in it, which seems to be Arielle.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2014, 10:52:32 am by Harry Baldman »
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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2384 on: July 25, 2014, 11:44:10 am »

Larry stared at the magazine a bit longer that was probably socially acceptable.  "Huh.  Not bad, eh."  He coughed.  "So what's up with those seraphs?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.
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