Halesey, sure of God's plan as much as he is sure of anything, dives headfirst into the vortex of potatoes, confirming immediately that it seems to contain some form of downward tunnel, an elongated pocket of empty space in the endless tubery jungle that is potato hell. And he does seem to have landed right in the center of it, at which point he begins merely... falling down it, he guesses the term is? He hasn't really seen any evidence of proper gravity in this realm of endless potatoes, but it has to be something like it that's pulling him this way, right? When you begin to doubt gravity, after all, you begin to doubt the very foundation of the natural world and possibly even certain elements of the unnatural one as well.
After about five minutes of falling, Halesey finally reaches something that looks like a potential destiny - the endless potatoes all around him suddenly end, with a boundary as clearly defined as anything Halesey has ever perceived, and after that a void more massive than Halesey has ever dared envision stretches outward - a spherical cavity in the mass of potatoes obeying no known laws of conventional physics. And in the middle of it all is a vast tuber the size of a small planet that provides Halesey with the knowledge that a small planet, despite the name, still happens to be immensely huge. In addition, he can see a whole lot of other, smaller, yet nevertheless enormous potatoes the size of moons growing out of the main tuber, with yet smaller potatoes comparable to large asteroids growing out of the moontatoes in turn. The fact that he seems to be falling toward the immense planetato is disturbing at first, but, in an entirely counterintuitive twist, Halesey begins to slow down as the planetato grows larger before him, coming to a stop after a not too long period of time. Halesey hangs in the void for a minute, unsure of what happens next.
"Welcome, pilgrim!" the voice of God, unmistakably coming from the planetato, kicks in again, thundering in his ears at exactly the right frequency to shatter glass, then quieting down to a piercing whisper.
"You have willingly come into the sight of the Lord of Potatoes, and for choosing the right path of your own volition you are to be commended."A pale yellow light only a tuber could conceivably emit bathes Halesey in its radiance, and Halesey feels sobriety set in as the taste of fresh potato builds up in his throat and the smell of earth fills his nostrils.
"Though your mastery of the potato is not yet complete or even properly begun, you show promise. It is because of this that I have called out to you, pilgrim. And though you have chosen to answer that call, a greater question still lies before you: are you willing to step on the true path of the potato?"* * * * *
Eta, accompanied by Lois, who still giggles on occasion, wander back to the pierced apartment block that Eta lives in - though firemen seem to have arrived, they appear to have concluded their business and are in the process of leaving on their bright red truck as the two women approach. Lois waves at the truck as it leaves and smiles, but they don't pay any attention to them, serious men and women of action that they are.
After finding her way up the stairs and into her apartment, Eta regards the damage once more, cringing a bit at the sight of it all as Lois enters right after her. This place is such a mess.
"Well, here we are. Sorry about its less than stellar state. A wizard threw a meteor through it earlier today.""I hope that's not a regular occurrence," Lois says as she sits down on the couch, regarding the nearby dust-filled cup of tea with a wary eye before Eta moves over to her and begins to show her around the ruined bathroom, the ruined living room, the mostly orderly and untouched bedroom and the kitchen, which is somewhat dusty on account of having a window to the living room. Much cleaning will be necessary, of that she is sure.
On the bright side, Eta's decision some time ago to start stockpiling cardboard boxes for unforeseen needs is finally paying off - with her similarly plentiful supply of duct tape, she can probably patch up all three of the holes, though serious construction will need to be soon, since she's fairly certain that either the heating bill will come out astronomical in the next couple of weeks or she will run a considerable risk of freezing if she wants to sleep here.
But that's something to think about slightly later. Right now, food is of prime importance! And since Eta has had the foresight to end the guided tour of her apartment in the kitchen, she, after patting herself on the back for good planning, immediately takes a look inside the fridge. Unfortunately for her current cravings, though, the refrigerator contains only enviably fresh food right now, all of which she had planned to prepare dinner from when the mood finally struck her tonight. That is, before such plans were thrown off track by overturned meteorites blasting a good part of her apartment into an unserviceable form.
"I'm not sure I'm hungry," Lois says as Eta looks at her with a questioningly raised eyebrow and points at the food within the fridge.
"I'm still digesting those cupcakes, to be honest."* * * * *
Dave, upon rounding out his spell list, decides to perfect his cerebrospinal vinegar!
[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]
A moment passes, but Dave doesn't actually feel much, so that's pretty much unchanged. He bets that the vinegar inside him is super aromatic, though! He also doesn't seem to be having intrusive visions anymore, which is a definite plus. And though having vinegar inside his internal organs is still a very bad thing as far as he knows, at least now he can safely assure himself with the fact that at least it's the best imaginable vinegar in the world slowly killing him from the inside. Though whether that is still the case is also similarly up for debate, of course.
* * * * *
John, amused by the way the puny mundane mortals are scurrying about in confusion, decides to call up Mr. Lee now and get the important bits of business over with. He has to wait a while before the geezer picks up, but it's not long enough to be a real inconvenience, and he certainly has nothing better to do.
"Yes, hello?" Mr. Lee asks on the other end.
"John here, the kids are safe.""All four of 'em?""Yeah, all four of them.""Even the two what ran off and such?""Them too, yeah.""Where are they now? Didn't get a call from their parents, y'know? Are they on the way?"That's probably a good question, John guesses, and one with an interesting answer in all likelihood. The question is, will Mr. Lee be happy to hear John's hypotheses on the matter?
* * * * *
Larry, highly disappointed in how certain people can't handle their liquor to the exactly insufficient degree necessary to find him desirable, decides to leave like the gentleman he is.
"Uh... right. Have a nice nap, then," he says, walking out of the bathroom and approaching Tom.
"She's passing out in the tub. Might want to check on her," he tells the naked green man, who nods in a moderately miffed manner.
"That's good to know, I suppose. Mind helping me out with carrying her to bed, maybe? I'm not entirely familiar with conventional human anatomy, and I fear I might break something if I need to carry her on my own," he says to Larry, getting up from the couch with a bounce. Larry wonders if helping this schmuck is worth it - on one hand, he seems weird and has pretty much admitted he's not human, but on the other, Larry is fairly sure that four o' clock in the afternoon is in that nebulous zone that's a tad too late for an afternoon nap but far too early for regular bedtime (which is bad news for Larry - after all, he has been up for at least six to eight hours straight, which lesser men have been known to die from in this day and age).
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Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus (Read 272270 times)