Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 97 98 [99] 100 101 ... 244

Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 270973 times)

The Froggy Ninja

  • Bay Watcher
  • Crying on the floor due to losing my entire hoard.
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1470 on: May 03, 2014, 09:52:41 am »

I take all of them except Shrink Garbage and cast Perfect Vinegar on my cerebreal vinegar.
Spoiler: Dave (click to show/hide)

Nunzillor

  • Guest
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1471 on: May 03, 2014, 11:08:24 am »

Well, those are all very good reasons.  I guess I just went mad with power by proxy, which is interesting.
Logged

Pancaek

  • Bay Watcher
  • Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1472 on: May 03, 2014, 05:41:28 pm »

"Heh, varmints and terrorists. Nice one, media buffoons."

Call mister Lee and tell him that the kids are safe. Then watch some more news
Logged

Toaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Appliance
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1473 on: May 03, 2014, 08:44:07 pm »

((Perfect cerebral vinegar of prophecy.  Interesting.))


Even through the steady waves of testosterone, Larry realizes something is amiss here.  "You... uh... okay there?  It's like you have no idea what's going on here."
Logged
HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1474 on: May 04, 2014, 02:39:43 am »

Even through the steady waves of testosterone, Larry realizes something is amiss here.  "You... uh... okay there?  It's like you have no idea what's going on here."

"... need to get some sleep," Sherry mumbles at you.
Logged

Toaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Appliance
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1475 on: May 04, 2014, 08:42:58 pm »

Larry sighed.  It's not like he has much experience in this, but he can see where this isn't going.  "Uh... right.  Have a nice nap, then."

He shook his head and headed out.  "She's passing out in the tub.  Might want to check on her," he said to Tom as he walked out the door.


Wonder where Halesey is?  Screw it, it's getting late.



Leave, head home, get some sleep.
Logged
HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1476 on: May 06, 2014, 01:16:50 pm »

Halesey, sure of God's plan as much as he is sure of anything, dives headfirst into the vortex of potatoes, confirming immediately that it seems to contain some form of downward tunnel, an elongated pocket of empty space in the endless tubery jungle that is potato hell. And he does seem to have landed right in the center of it, at which point he begins merely... falling down it, he guesses the term is? He hasn't really seen any evidence of proper gravity in this realm of endless potatoes, but it has to be something like it that's pulling him this way, right? When you begin to doubt gravity, after all, you begin to doubt the very foundation of the natural world and possibly even certain elements of the unnatural one as well.

After about five minutes of falling, Halesey finally reaches something that looks like a potential destiny - the endless potatoes all around him suddenly end, with a boundary as clearly defined as anything Halesey has ever perceived, and after that a void more massive than Halesey has ever dared envision stretches outward - a spherical cavity in the mass of potatoes obeying no known laws of conventional physics. And in the middle of it all is a vast tuber the size of a small planet that provides Halesey with the knowledge that a small planet, despite the name, still happens to be immensely huge. In addition, he can see a whole lot of other, smaller, yet nevertheless enormous potatoes the size of moons growing out of the main tuber, with yet smaller potatoes comparable to large asteroids growing out of the moontatoes in turn. The fact that he seems to be falling toward the immense planetato is disturbing at first, but, in an entirely counterintuitive twist, Halesey begins to slow down as the planetato grows larger before him, coming to a stop after a not too long period of time. Halesey hangs in the void for a minute, unsure of what happens next.

"Welcome, pilgrim!" the voice of God, unmistakably coming from the planetato, kicks in again, thundering in his ears at exactly the right frequency to shatter glass, then quieting down to a piercing whisper. "You have willingly come into the sight of the Lord of Potatoes, and for choosing the right path of your own volition you are to be commended."

A pale yellow light only a tuber could conceivably emit bathes Halesey in its radiance, and Halesey feels sobriety set in as the taste of fresh potato builds up in his throat and the smell of earth fills his nostrils.

"Though your mastery of the potato is not yet complete or even properly begun, you show promise. It is because of this that I have called out to you, pilgrim. And though you have chosen to answer that call, a greater question still lies before you: are you willing to step on the true path of the potato?"

* * * * *

Eta, accompanied by Lois, who still giggles on occasion, wander back to the pierced apartment block that Eta lives in - though firemen seem to have arrived, they appear to have concluded their business and are in the process of leaving on their bright red truck as the two women approach. Lois waves at the truck as it leaves and smiles, but they don't pay any attention to them, serious men and women of action that they are.

After finding her way up the stairs and into her apartment, Eta regards the damage once more, cringing a bit at the sight of it all as Lois enters right after her. This place is such a mess.

"Well, here we are. Sorry about its less than stellar state. A wizard threw a meteor through it earlier today."

"I hope that's not a regular occurrence," Lois says as she sits down on the couch, regarding the nearby dust-filled cup of tea with a wary eye before Eta moves over to her and begins to show her around the ruined bathroom, the ruined living room, the mostly orderly and untouched bedroom and the kitchen, which is somewhat dusty on account of having a window to the living room. Much cleaning will be necessary, of that she is sure.

On the bright side, Eta's decision some time ago to start stockpiling cardboard boxes for unforeseen needs is finally paying off - with her similarly plentiful supply of duct tape, she can probably patch up all three of the holes, though serious construction will need to be soon, since she's fairly certain that either the heating bill will come out astronomical in the next couple of weeks or she will run a considerable risk of freezing if she wants to sleep here.

But that's something to think about slightly later. Right now, food is of prime importance! And since Eta has had the foresight to end the guided tour of her apartment in the kitchen, she, after patting herself on the back for good planning, immediately takes a look inside the fridge. Unfortunately for her current cravings, though, the refrigerator contains only enviably fresh food right now, all of which she had planned to prepare dinner from when the mood finally struck her tonight. That is, before such plans were thrown off track by overturned meteorites blasting a good part of her apartment into an unserviceable form.

"I'm not sure I'm hungry," Lois says as Eta looks at her with a questioningly raised eyebrow and points at the food within the fridge. "I'm still digesting those cupcakes, to be honest."

* * * * *

Dave, upon rounding out his spell list, decides to perfect his cerebrospinal vinegar!

[Dave's affinity roll: 5-1]

A moment passes, but Dave doesn't actually feel much, so that's pretty much unchanged. He bets that the vinegar inside him is super aromatic, though! He also doesn't seem to be having intrusive visions anymore, which is a definite plus. And though having vinegar inside his internal organs is still a very bad thing as far as he knows, at least now he can safely assure himself with the fact that at least it's the best imaginable vinegar in the world slowly killing him from the inside. Though whether that is still the case is also similarly up for debate, of course.

* * * * *

John, amused by the way the puny mundane mortals are scurrying about in confusion, decides to call up Mr. Lee now and get the important bits of business over with. He has to wait a while before the geezer picks up, but it's not long enough to be a real inconvenience, and he certainly has nothing better to do.

"Yes, hello?" Mr. Lee asks on the other end.

"John here, the kids are safe."

"All four of 'em?"

"Yeah, all four of them."

"Even the two what ran off and such?"

"Them too, yeah."

"Where are they now? Didn't get a call from their parents, y'know? Are they on the way?"

That's probably a good question, John guesses, and one with an interesting answer in all likelihood. The question is, will Mr. Lee be happy to hear John's hypotheses on the matter?

* * * * *

Larry, highly disappointed in how certain people can't handle their liquor to the exactly insufficient degree necessary to find him desirable, decides to leave like the gentleman he is.

"Uh... right.  Have a nice nap, then," he says, walking out of the bathroom and approaching Tom. "She's passing out in the tub.  Might want to check on her," he tells the naked green man, who nods in a moderately miffed manner.

"That's good to know, I suppose. Mind helping me out with carrying her to bed, maybe? I'm not entirely familiar with conventional human anatomy, and I fear I might break something if I need to carry her on my own," he says to Larry, getting up from the couch with a bounce. Larry wonders if helping this schmuck is worth it - on one hand, he seems weird and has pretty much admitted he's not human, but on the other, Larry is fairly sure that four o' clock in the afternoon is in that nebulous zone that's a tad too late for an afternoon nap but far too early for regular bedtime (which is bad news for Larry - after all, he has been up for at least six to eight hours straight, which lesser men have been known to die from in this day and age).
Logged

Toaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Appliance
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1477 on: May 06, 2014, 01:33:13 pm »

The phrase "What's in it for me?" is halfway to Larry's lips before he swallowed it back down and decided to just do the damn thing.  Maybe she'd call him.

"Fine, whatever."

Help, I guess.
Logged
HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1478 on: May 06, 2014, 01:42:00 pm »

The phrase "What's in it for me?" is halfway to Larry's lips before he swallowed it back down and decided to just do the damn thing.  Maybe she'd call him.

"Fine, whatever."

Help, I guess.

You walk over to the bathroom with Tom, and find that he is much stronger than he appears - you have more of a consulting role, really, and make sure he doesn't, say, try to lift her up from the tub by her head, which he seems dangerously close to doing at the first try. Finally you two work out a method and carry her over to her room like one would carry a drunken sailor, depositing her on the rather plain, but evidently comfortable bed and rolling her on her side. When that's done, Tom nods happily and turns to you.

"Thanks for helping me out with her. I really am kind of glad you brought her back. I was starting to get a bit worried. Maybe I can interest you in some pancakes in return? I was about to make some, anyway," he asks.
Logged

Pancaek

  • Bay Watcher
  • Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1479 on: May 06, 2014, 02:02:42 pm »

"Oh yeah, yeah. They said they were going to get their stuff from the appartement I found them in and then head to their home. They're nice kids, ya know? They just wanted to go to their old school to get some stuff or something like that."
Logged

Toaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Appliance
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1480 on: May 06, 2014, 02:50:24 pm »

While he's okay with physical effort to put a passed-out woman in bed, having pancakes with a nude green man is outside his comfort threshold.  "Err, no I really should be going.  Thanks though."


Decline the offer and exit.  No thanks!
Logged
HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1481 on: May 06, 2014, 03:01:57 pm »

"Oh yeah, yeah. They said they were going to get their stuff from the appartement I found them in and then head to their home. They're nice kids, ya know? They just wanted to go to their old school to get some stuff or something like that."

"Ah, good. Well, unless there's something else, see you and your friends in the morning, then."

While he's okay with physical effort to put a passed-out woman in bed, having pancakes with a nude green man is outside his comfort threshold.  "Err, no I really should be going.  Thanks though."


Decline the offer and exit.  No thanks!

"Aw, really? Well, okay, I guess. If you can say 'no' to pancakes, you're a better man than I am," Tom says.

Also, going somewhere in particular?
Logged

Pancaek

  • Bay Watcher
  • Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1482 on: May 06, 2014, 03:14:16 pm »

"I don't know, man. They seemed pretty tired of this magic stuff. I don't think they'll be coming anywhere near one of us any time soon. They might be traumatized, you know. That one kid even turned into custard for a bit."
Logged

Harry Baldman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What do I care for your suffering?
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1483 on: May 06, 2014, 03:16:28 pm »

"I don't know, man. They seemed pretty tired of this magic stuff. I don't think they'll be coming anywhere near one of us any time soon. They might be traumatized, you know. That one kid even turned into custard for a bit."

"Look, kid, I'm kinda tired and Mrs. Lee hates it when I stay up this late. So how about we both go to sleep now and you tell me all about this later?"
Logged

Toaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Appliance
    • View Profile
Re: The Forgotten Art: 101 Uses For Potatoes and Vortexes Thereof
« Reply #1484 on: May 06, 2014, 03:32:29 pm »

Also, going somewhere in particular?

What time is it?
Logged
HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.
Pages: 1 ... 97 98 [99] 100 101 ... 244