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[Xob Ludosmbax]

I realize it's old hat, but the battle of the giant sponge vs. the zombie ravens.  Went on for years!  Started a few moments after embark, and kept going until I had different ideas for a fortress and abandoned. 

[Vid_the_Impaler]

Tantruming dwarf who killed a hydra which had massacred my military.

[ElenaRoan]

The whole three of my brand new militia were training away when a sneak thief, having made it past the caravan and guards, got sprung having entered the barracks.  It manages a swipe of its blade before being flattened by a combination of the militia and caravan guards.  One of the militia is blinking so I check his wounds and nothing stands out except "faint", I'm thinking maybe he got scratched and since he hasn't taken himself off to the hospital (got a doctor in the first migration) I stand the unit down so he can go get looked at.  Instead he takes himself off to his room for a sleep.  I don't think any more of it until a little while later with them back on duty miasma starts spreading from under one of pieces of equipment that hadn't been dragged off yet, took a quick look as I thought I'd had the various pieces of thief removed and I find the arm of the squad member who'd been blinking.  I'd missed it because I was looking for yellow or red not grey.  A quick check of his thoughts showed him proclaiming he'd received minor injuries lately.  I just shook my head and he continued happily training away.

[Cain12]

Well I know its pretty tame/nothing compared to all the other stuff mentioned here but, the most badass thing that I didn't accidentally or on purpose cause was a child fighting off a badger that had killed 3 children before it, both survived, badger was caught (was named Sneakblameless at some point) and if my fort hadn't fallen later that year, I was going to have them fight when the boy was of age and trained. Yea like I said its not much.

[DaL33T]

My fortress was being invaded by goblins (again). This time, their commander-in-freaking-chief, who's a frickin' DEMON, has shown up for the fight. Our military was decimated a year ago by a similar attack, so I draft all 60 of my able-bodied dwarves to beat back the invaders.

Only two of the dwarves remain. One is in the main stockpile, unable to move yet still alive. The other, the mayor himself, is wailing on the demon while casually beating ogresses to death on the side, despite only having ONE ARM to hold BOTH HIS HAMMER AND SHIELD.

Unfortunately, the duel ended in a stalemate and the fortress ultimately crumbled, but for me, that is hands down the most badass thing I've ever witnessed.

[Snaake]

...
All but two of the dwarves remain. One is in the main stockpile, unable to move yet still alive. The other, the mayor himself, is wailing on the demon while casually beating ogresses to death on the side, despite only having ONE ARM to hold BOTH HIS HAMMER AND SHIELD.

Unfortunately, the duel ended in a stalemate and the fortress ultimately crumbled, but for me, that is hands down the most badass thing I've ever witnessed.

Do you mean only two of the dwarves remain ("all but two" would imply those two are dead, or at least out of the fight)? Badass mayor.

[Urist MacNoob]

I didn't have any armor for my dwarves yet, nor did I have any sophisticated weaponry save a large surplus of crossbows and some axes/maces I had hastily constructed earlier. I don't know how to get my dwarves to go into my danger room to train, so their melee isn't so good save sparring on and off.

A goblin ambush occurs in the middle of a trading session with Tise Ewe, kingdom of the elves whom I try to treat nicely because it is actually a legitimate challenge to do so and I like a challenge. A goblin maceman storms into the depot and kills a mule of the elves and almost reaches one of the traders when my militia commander steps in. The goblin changes course and charges at her. She has no armor, so I thought that was the end for her.

She doesn't fire her crossbow at him, no. She just sits there waiting for him to reach her. When he runs up, she dodges his first swing and proceeds to grab his silver mace and upper body, flinging him into my water canal. The same one I use for drinking. I can only imagine the look on his face and the triumphant, condescending chuckles from my clever militia commander.

It isn't poisonous despite there being a rotten goblin corpse lying in it. My dwarves happily bathe in it and wash with horse soap and drink from the well, and all is fine and dandy. I've not the heart to remove it.

She also stormed onto the bridge across my river a moment later, performing the same move on a goblin crossbowman and flinging him into the river. The difference is that she kept his crossbow, he was eaten by ravenous carp and that she used his crossbow to slaughter one of his comrades, first firing it into his gut and then bashing his upper body to the point where the crossbow had torn the heart and was embedded in the wound.

Then she switched to her own bone crossbow and by that point the only ones left for her to murder were the dying and unconscious, as my other marksdwarves had finally gotten their beards together and were trying to contribute.

And then there was that time in adventurer mode that my character was crippled to the point where he couldn't really fight or hold a sword properly or stand by an ambush of mace lords, axelords, swordmaster and spearmaster that were apparently bandits. He survived by martial trance and biting their legs off, throats out and at one point biting a guy's head through his leather helmet, for a bruised upper spine and lower spine and severed sensory nerves in the hands are but flesh wounds and scratches.

[Journeyman]

An ammunitionless, novice marksdwarf who managed to single-handedly beat a dragon to death. Meanwhile, the rest of my marksdwarves sat uselessly on the wall nearby, also having forgotten their ammunition.

[DaL33T]

...
All but two of the dwarves remain. One is in the main stockpile, unable to move yet still alive. The other, the mayor himself, is wailing on the demon while casually beating ogresses to death on the side, despite only having ONE ARM to hold BOTH HIS HAMMER AND SHIELD.

Unfortunately, the duel ended in a stalemate and the fortress ultimately crumbled, but for me, that is hands down the most badass thing I've ever witnessed.

Do you mean only two of the dwarves remain ("all but two" would imply those two are dead, or at least out of the fight)? Badass mayor.

Ah, thank you for pointing that out.

[IleWieszOOsmiornicach]

A web-spewing Forgotten Beast showed up, so naturally I ordered my squad of 4 legendary fighting dwarves to go down and fight it. Fully clad in steel armor, they start barreling down the stairs. All of them but the Hammer Lord, who decided to go for a drink instead. So two Axe Lords and a Spear Lord descend to battle the beast, and when they charge at it, they are stopped dead in their tracks by the copious amounts of webbing created by it. And the monster starts bashing them in the heads with it's giant fists. Luckily, they were all wearing helmets and the attacks glanced off, but I knew they couldn't last long. Or so I thought. Because the head-bashing continued for days. And weeks. The hammer lord had the time to eat a meal in the dining room and attend a party in the outdoor statue garden. All while his three squadmates were completely webbed and pounded on by a beast. And when he finally decided to follow orders for once, he strolled out into the cavern... And took the beast's head clean off with one swing of the hammer. Realizing his orders were now complete, he promptly turned into a peasant and left to take a nap, leaving everyone else immobile, covered in web, and next to a headless FB corpse.

And that's not counting the time an old axe-fighting teacher Rakust and his most promising, 14-year-old student Urist killed 84 goblins before succumbing to their wounds, holding off the siege just long enough for all civilians to return to a safe place. The moment they died a metalcrafter went into a strange mood and crafted a legendary adamantine battle axe Semoroltud, which is worth over 1600000 urists and features images of both Urist and Rakust murdering hordes of goblins.
Since then I have built two giant twin 14 z-level towers from steel, marble and glass in their memory. They have their tombs and memorial halls in their respective basements.
And Semoroltud was given to a 12-year-old, adventurous girl, who started training immediately. And has since been passed on from one Apprentice to another.

[Mods]

The planter comes to the rescue, punching out all the crocodile's 30+ teeth out in one punch, from behind

[Lawlcat]

I had a pretty solid fortress that had been going for 15-20 years. Tons of candy and I was happily mining away a bunch of the stuff. I had so much extra candy I didn't know what to do with it. I had already found the circus and quickly closed off that area so I made the assumption I was safe.

I was not.

Suddenly screams were heard, and the militia was sent to do what they could until the mines could be completely sealed. They went down to the breach and began a massive fight. 10 Elite dwarves, a mix of hammerlords, axelords, swordlords, etc. It wasn't enough though, and they were overrun. The dwarves up top pulled the failsafe lever to seal off the cavern. Unfortunately the failsafe lever failed, and the cavern remained wide open.  Everyone died. So I thought. I kept getting combat messages. I quickly jumped to them to find my Captain of the Guard, a Hammerlord decked out in masterwork steel armor with a masterwork steel hammer. 

He was trapped in a 1 wide hallway, at the far end of it. A mining hallway that had been stopped early. Walls on all sides but the left. The left, however, was filled with 5 fire demons. They were constantly torching him but he held his shield up and blocked every single attack. The hammerdwarf couldn't get any hits on them though, and eventually he lost his hammer (it flew off and landed on the other side of the fire demons). So there he was just holding up his shield and blocking the fire.

I didn't abandon because I wanted to see what he could do. MONTHS went by with him just blocking and blocking, never giving up. Hungry, thirsty and tired he held on.

In the end, I left the fort. I never knew what happened to that Hammerlord. For all I know he's still down in the depths.

[Tevish Szat]

Fire-breathing titan appears at my fort.  Notices and runs for a security breach where my outer wall crosses a murky pool.  Three brave hammerdwarves follow the titan into the water, one hammerdwarf emerges, down his left hand but now a titanslayer.  He proceeds to ignore his wound completely rather than head for the woefully understocked death-hospital like most injured dwarves and go right back to scheduled training.  The one-handed dwarf goes on to kill more semimegas, at least one FB, and a whole lot of goblins.

[EvilBob22]

A child was in the path of an oncoming FB, so I ordered the military to kill the FB and wrote the child off for dead.  I noticed that the squads almost immediately went back to "No orders", and I couldn't find the FB anymore.  I checked the combat logs, and lo and behold, two lines: the FB missing the child, and the child punching it through the brain.  The child was 4 years old.

[acetech09]

My militia commander cutting a bronze colossus in half with his artifact platinum battle axe.

And then he stands up.

I should be receiving that scene in a crayon drawing pretty soon. Curious to see what tarn comes up with for that one :p.