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Author Topic: To become a Wizard!  (Read 5110 times)

LordSlowpoke

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To become a Wizard!
« on: June 23, 2013, 03:54:38 pm »

Exactly what is says on the tin, Bay12. My employment being in limbo thanks to important documents being routed through Omsk Timbuktu the Australian outback i have no bloody idea how they're routing this and my attitude to societal approval firmly settled in "as long as my house isn't being burned down, who gives a shit" I decided to become a wizard. The wizard my local area needs, but doesn't exactly deserve. I have a vague idea of how wizardry operates from a myriad of sources, out of which I of course cherry picked what was plausible and what wasn't in accordance with my own conscience, and earlier during my life me and a friend of mine have already irresponsibly fucked around with spirits - which made me believe that this can be plausibly done, if on the most shallow of levels. I also may or may not have something chained to myself, but who knows about that?

The first step of a proper wizard is the attire. If I can't do anything more than this, then at least I'll be able to pretend I'm a wizard, which is good enough in most aspects. I wanted to start with the hat and go from there, going with a more or less stereotypical image - robe, hat, staff. I have no idea what should go for footwear, but I'll probably go with sandals (which are easy enough to make or simply purchase). eHow has a good enough information store for the robes, but I haven't decided on what material I should use. Perhaps I could make two or three for different occasions and weather conditions later.


I don't have anything drawn up for the staff, since I have no idea how to translate my thoughts into drawings decently here, but the plan's as follows - grab a ~70cm wooden shaft of about 15cm diameter, put a steel core inside to increase weight and durability then stick some sort of orb on top. Thought of glass and acryl polished at a jeweler's for a glorious effect. I honestly don't know how the staff should work like and this is where I'd love you to step in if possible. :3

Other than this, there's the actual business of being a wizard. You know, spells and such. I don't expect myself to ever be shouting EI NATH at things, nor does that make sense, but I'm fairly sure there's a world beyond this one that's sort of accessible~ Forces beyond what I could plausibly know and all that. Call me silly, but I'd be willing to try it again. cue xantalos giving me a thorough manual on how to do something which ends up with me and the rest of the world getting eaten
So... yeah. Thoughts, advice? Perhaps someone else here dabbled in what I'm trying to do here? The quest to wizarddom is a path not really tread by the most sane people and as thus I don't have any fairly reliable sources...
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anzki4

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2013, 04:20:39 pm »

O.o
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2013, 04:24:17 pm »

Hmm. Let me get my book.
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nenjin

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2013, 04:30:49 pm »

Well, obviously, a wizard needs tomes and books of prestidigitation. Or, PDF files of prestidigitation, at any rate.

You'll need stuff like The Golden Bough, The Key of Solomon, The Zohar, The Sefer Raziel HaMalakh, The Etz Hayim and the Eight Gates, Crowley's works, ect... If you don't get bored reading those and others, or go insane, you're well on your way to being a wizard!

You'll need a familiar too. If you've got a housecat that ignores you and mistakenly casts "Expel Furball" all the time, you're set.
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Xantalos

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2013, 04:32:55 pm »

Or if you want to fast track and die, get the Necronomicon.
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Sirus

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2013, 04:49:00 pm »

I thought the secret to becoming a wizard was to remain a virgin until you hit 30 years of age. At least, that's what the Internet told me...
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Aklyon

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2013, 04:58:09 pm »

I'm pretty sure I've seen at least one wizard wear a longcoat, enchanted or non. THat'd probably be better for rain/snow/other problem weather.
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Bauglir

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2013, 06:02:45 pm »

You'll be wanting to read up on alchemical secrets. Not only do they provide you with an effective wizarding vocabulary and an assortment of arcane-looking symbols, they're filled with all sorts of lore you'll be expected to know. Plus, giant books, y'know?
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

RedWarrior0

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2013, 10:55:28 pm »

For the staff, if you can't majyck it, wire it to produce a bunch of sparks in/around the orb.
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Mech#4

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2013, 11:15:10 pm »

One of the most important accessories is a skull with a melty candle on top. Possibly also a stuffed animal of some kind, hanging from the ceiling of course.
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Mr. Palau

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2013, 11:16:22 pm »

Or if you want to fast track and die, get the Necronomicon.
+1

True wizards read the necronomicon
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hops

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2013, 11:20:54 pm »

*witch doctor
That, unless you want your job to involve transmuting ores and throwing fireballs.

You might also want to check if you are capable of meditating continuously for at least 3 hours. People who hire exorcists tend to expect you to sit down and have a chat with malevolent spirits.

You will also want to also keep track on technologies, so that you are always one step ahead of those pesky debunkers.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2013, 11:23:54 pm by Objective »
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Gamerlord

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2013, 11:32:47 pm »

What.

alway

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #13 on: June 24, 2013, 12:42:12 am »

This is silly. You want to be a real wizard? Dedicate yourself to knowledge and the long, hard study of the universe. I'm not talking spiritualist mumbo-jumbo, but real, achievable wizardry. AI, robotics, chemistry, physics*; all the knowledge of the universe, how it runs, how tricks and sleight of hand combined with a quick wit can combine to achieve things previously thought impossible, or even things previously unthought. You live in a world where we're doing no less than probing the very core of the nature of everything. It isn't the hat, robe and beard that make the wizard, it's the long, hard years of study of the arcane inner workings of the universe and the intellectual prowess to use them to gain new knowledge as well as apply their knowledge to accomplish great feats.

We've all been living in a high-magic setting for the past 150 years or so; best get used to it, as the magic is only getting stronger.

*If you don't believe these are magic, examine what they are. AI strives to give intelligence to the inanimate; robotics strives to animate the inanimate; chemistry literally spawned by looking at alchemy and creating theories based specifically on what worked; physics looks at the core structures making up the universe, revealing a deeper level of reality so arcane we can't fathom it outside of abstractions and metaphor along with equations so strange we don't even grasp the implications of them. We live in such a high-magic setting that it becomes mundane to us.
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Myroc

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Re: To become a Wizard!
« Reply #14 on: June 24, 2013, 01:58:16 am »

*If you don't believe these are magic, examine what they are. AI strives to give intelligence to the inanimate; robotics strives to animate the inanimate; chemistry literally spawned by looking at alchemy and creating theories based specifically on what worked; physics looks at the core structures making up the universe, revealing a deeper level of reality so arcane we can't fathom it outside of abstractions and metaphor along with equations so strange we don't even grasp the implications of them. We live in such a high-magic setting that it becomes mundane to us.
Magic is only magic for as long as we are unable to understand it, Clarke's Third Law and all that. As soon as we begin to comprehend the basic theories behind it, it stops being magic and becomes science. (Although I suppose, in the end, it's a matter of definition.)

Returning to the topic at hand, the title made me expect you trying to become a parlor magician, but an actual wizard? That's rather amusing, and I'm rather interested in how this turns out. I'll be watching this thread.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 02:00:01 am by Myroc »
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