Adopting accent...
Engaging first person writing...
Alright, so I was just sitting there at the bus stop, waiting for that accursedly slow public transportation. The bus was running late. I think the usual driver was sick or something. So, here I was, waiting there in the snow. I have no clue why there was snow, since the last time we had snow cover was three years ago and it was the middle of the summer, but sometimes life is just like that. Alright, so I was just standing there for about twenty more minutes, thinking of more ways to slip the word alright into my sentences, when suddenly, out of the blue, a bus appears! It was such a completely unexpected thing to happen, alright, that I just sort of fell over! It was this old British double decker bus, painted in rainbow colors, with the words Public Transport No. 666 across the side. The bus was doing about eighty, alright, and it just screams past the stop towards the curb and does some sort of double backflip over the median and onto the other lane. Alright, now what should happen but that some old guy in a bathrobe falls clean out of a window of the bus and lands in the snow nearby. Alright, so I was like, "Joe, what in the name of the Alrighty are you doing here?" And he was all like, "What in the Sam Hell John Wilkes Dolphin Kissing Booth is going on here? Where's all me wee birds go?" And I was all like, "Joe, get out of the snow and explain yourself, alright!" And so he got up, alright, and he said, "Well I'll be a leoplurodon in a clown car! That no good revolver-toting driver dropped us off at the wrong stop!" And so I helped him up, and I took him inside, alright, and I got him a hot beverage, and I made a call to Veterans' Affairs. Now, I'm going to give you some nice immersion here by reenacting the details.
Phone: Ring, ring.
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, let me redirect you.
Phone: Redirect...
Guy: Hello, Veterans' Affairs?
Me: Hello, I'm here to call in for someone.
Guy: Alright, who is it?
Me: It's Joe again.
Guy: *sigh* Alright, let me call a cab. We'll take it from here.
Me: Alright, thanks, that was quite unusually expedient.
Guy: Yes, we've been doing quite well here cleaning up the system. Thanks for calling!
Phome: Disconnect.
And that's about it, alright.
All the alrights. They are mine. You cannot have them.