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[Vector]

Okay, try massaging your feet and palms.

[Xantalos]

Best topic.

[Parsely]

Okay, try massaging your feet and palms.

Now my fingers hurt. I didn't even get to my feet.

[Yoink]

Massage it.

That doesn't work, actually. Its only the right cheek btw.

Did you just massage your arse on the orders of someone on the internet? 

Your resident arse-demon is unhappy. You must sacrifice a chicken, bleeding it and massaging the blood into the affected area to appease it.

[Parsely]

Massage it.

That doesn't work, actually. Its only the right cheek btw.

Did you just massage your arse on the orders of someone on the internet? 

Your resident arse-demon is unhappy. You must sacrifice a chicken, bleeding it and massaging the blood into the affected area to appease it.

Where can I find a chicken?

EDIT: Nevermind, there's one in the freezer. It doesn't have any blood though. Is that okay?

[Gamerlord]

There should be one near the home of the arse demon. Be careful though, it may have already been choked to death.

[Max White]

Perhaps sit on it less?
Your glutes are designed to stretch and pull your leg, not as a cushion. Try actually using them and things will improve.

[Parsely]

Perhaps sit on it less?
Your glutes are designed to stretch and pull your leg, not as a cushion. Try actually using them and things will improve.

That hurts. I actually pulled it while lifting this morning, and the problem was exacerbated by further hard exercise (a wrestling tournament) later in the day. :l

[Max White]

Did you remember to stretch beforehand? I'm assuming if you are wrestling you have somebody there telling you to drink water, so that shouldn't be an issue?

[Parsely]

Did you remember to stretch beforehand? I'm assuming if you are wrestling you have somebody there telling you to drink water, so that shouldn't be an issue?

I know how to take care of myself, but no, I didn't stretch, because my spotter had already started, and there was no time to waste, as I only ever have an hour every morning to get my work out in. I already know what happened, and why, and for fucks sake I drink as much as I can get my hands on! I started icing and heating it twelve hours ago. I just wanted to have a decent joke thread okay?! Cripes.

EDIT: And actually we never drink while we wrestle. Thats an awful idea. It worked when I played football and pretty much any other sport, but wrestling is definitely one where, once you start playing, you want as little in your stomach as possible.

[Max White]

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Have you tried getting a bit more salt into your diet?

[Parsely]

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Have you tried getting a bit more salt into your diet?

*brain clicks* You're the worst Max. THE. WORST.

[Parsely]

And I put that chicken blood on my ass butt! IT DIDN'T WORK.

[LordSlowpoke]

Bad choice of joke thread, mate. Butt cramps are serious business, and someone who's experiencing one should know that.

That aside, you should try putting a donk on it.

[Max White]

Look if all this fails maybe you should see a doctor. You might have torn something. Just stretch the muscle a little, give it time, and see how it goes. I'm sorry if my advice isn't working.