Episode 65: A, B, C, D...L, M, N, O P.
Why are you answering our inane questions?
NO, edit please before it's too late. That's not a yes or no question
We should test whether he can see into spoilers or not somehow. I have no quality questions to put into a spoiler besides maybe,
Does doing the fish stick require a delicate state of mind?
Spoiler it so Sheo doesn't see it!
We know Sheo is knowledgeable and benign
Sheogorath smiles with amusement.
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"So, ready for the final round?"
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"Yes, let's do this."-Do you have a goal here?
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"Do you have a goal here?":
"No. I have two goals here. Three, if you count 'have fun while doing them.' Which I do. Four if you count 'spill chicken noodle soup on an ostritch.' Which I don't. Usually. So, no. I don't have a goal. I have five goals. And none of them involve barfing. I don't think highly of rules."-Are those ponies from this world?
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"So, umm...I have come to realize that several personalities here in Morrowind seem to greatly resemble characters from a certain show from my world...My Little Pony. "Sheogorath shows no reaction.
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"I guess the question is...those people...ponies...things. Are they from this world?"He gazes at you for a moment before answering.
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"Well now, Michael, that's an interesting question. No, actually they're not. It's ironic, really. You've been worried that they whisked you away from your world into theirs, but here you're the only true native in this entire place and they're the strangers. Not as strange as I'd like, maybe, but stranger than you. You could really use some help with that. You make even baby pet florescent hamster nose hair noises taste ordinary. And that's saying a lot."-Do you know what we are?
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"Do you know what I am?"He laughs.
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"Yes..."A large, floating chair materializes and Sheogorath transforms into a man wearing red and black robes.
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"...oh, yes."
Michael seems momentarily unable to respond.
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"...mmf....gahh. What did you...what did you just do?"He shifts.
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"I answered your question. What did you expect, a narwhal in a tutu? I certainly would have. But I decided to simply answer. Dancing narwhals would have been entirely too predictable, even for me.":
"I feel...it hurts. Vibrations...like I could fall apart...why does it hurt...what's going on?"He shifts again.
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"Oh, you'd like me to connect the dots for you from A to B to C, so that your puny mind could comprehend. How boring."A few moments pass.
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"Are you dead yet? Go ahead. Don't let me stop you. Oh, wait. You already are.":
"...I...think I'm ok. But whatever you just did, please don't do it again. It felt like the core of my being was being shaken."He leans in and smiles maliciously.
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"No promises. Ask your next question.":
"But you didn't answer my last question. You just shapeshifted and made me feel weird."He shifts back.
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"And proud I am to have done so! Next question, please."-Are there a lot of foreign influences around here?
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"Are there a lot of foreign influences here?":
"Foreign influences? Oh, no. Only a few. But what foreign influences there are are so delightfully disjointed. They can't agree on what to do, so they've each taken their own path. Oh, I can smell the look in your mind. The Legion? They're no more foreign than that lake over there. Vivec? He's an interesting case. Is he foreign? I'll let him speak for himself. What about me? Or my good friend Mr. Mora who gave you the apple that you so rudely gave away without so much as a lick. He came to give you knowledge, you know. Or I suppose you didn't. But after speaking with you he decided you were more my cup of turpentine than his. What about Dagoth Ur, poor handcuffed little dormouse that he is? What about Nocturnal, or shall I say Nyx, who you ironically haven't even met? Mary Sue like her can't stand the competition, I suppose. Or maybe the incestuous implications if she were to appear. What of us? All of Us. Are we foreign? I suppose that depends on how you look at it. Now, Clover the not-so-Clever? She's definitely foreign. But not much of an influence, I'm afraid. Handed the fate of the world on a platter, but she has more interest in reading fictitious history books than toppling mountains. Personally I try never to believe anything I read, but for all her interest in knowledge for the sake of knowledge she has no clue there's anything interesting going on here. Hermes three times won't have anything to do with her, Mora less. Maybe if you were a better alchemist you'd understand that. Self-involvedicus Maximus? He's foreign, too. And much more of an influence. In fact, in about twenty minutes he's going to be the unknowing instrument for the biggest change this world has seen since Selene decided it wouldn't be entirely terrible if she wasn't the only one playing with herself."He raises his hands grandly above his head.
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"The entire world has CHANGED! The very foundational rules by which this realm exists have been tweaked, altered, adjusted, modified! Not for the first time, but changed! Some would say for the better. I don't judge. They've changed, and for me, that's enough. Rules are confining. Can you feel it? Can you feel the difference? Can you taste the evolution of this creation all around you? No? Pity. Awesomicus didn't either. It wasn't his idea and he doesn't understand anything any better than Clover. Even prissy Miss fashion accessory who just wants everypony to pay attention to her on her quest to find her Ken doll is having a bigger impact on the world than either of them. The Nord? She tapped out early. SexyWithers? Oh, excuse me...SexyWithers 'hugs and kisses?' She's certainly been an influence. She's made herself quite the nightmare for House Hlaalu, for example, and especially Balmora. But is she foreign?"He taps his chin thoughtfully.
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"I wonder."He clears his throat.
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"But, that's four for four! Forty more than a missing Earl, and seven less than most faithful's CMFIS. One more and you win! You can do it! Go! Go! Go!"Has Azura been messing with us?
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"Has Azura been messing with me?"He shifts.
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"Sorry! That's not a yes or no question. You lose."He shifts.
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"No, actually I'm not. But you still lose. Three out of four rounds go to me. Excellent! I can never get enough rounds. I feed them to my pet circle, and it has quite the appetite. Still, it is unfortunate. I was hoping you'd win. But, I'll be content to take a rook rather than a king.":
"Why can't you answer that with a yes or no? And what do you mean, take a rook?":
"The contest is over! No more questions unless they're asked by me. Sheogorath, are you charming and witty? Sheogorath, does your coat taste of razzleberries? Why, yes, Sheogorath, I'm both witty and charming! But not as witty as my coat, which sadly, tastes of raspberries far wittier than I. I would offer you a taste, but alas, you're dead, and you haven't even learned how to move without a body let alone taste without one. But that's ok. Do you know why?"-Do you like us?
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"It's because tasting without a body and feeling without a body are exactly the same! Oh, also it's because I've decided that I like you. You're an entirely decent chap. Except when you're naked. Which given that you're not even wearing your body right now, let alone clothes, I suppose that makes you thoroughly indecent. Which I also like. I try not to be judgemental about common or uncommon decency."He shifts.
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"But why does it matter what I think? The real question is: do you like you?"She shifts.
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"I can see you have mixed feelings about that. But, I'll have you know that this particular you that you've decided to be, I like so much that I've decided to join the game. Yes! It will be lots of fun. And if not, I'll just do something else. I'm good at that. So let's get to playing! Maybe I'll get to be the Nerevarine! Or maybe I could score with Mistress Dratha? Though, she's a bit young. Well, no matter. Oh! Maybe if I asked very nicely Dagoth Ur might let me join the Sixth House as a mindless corprus beast! I'd be good at that!"He pushes out both arms limply in front of him, and with a gleeful look on his face merrily proceeds to limp in circles.
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"...brains....":
"Umm, yeah...that might not be such a good idea. But what exactly do you mean you're going to join the game? You can do that?":
"I said it was over! No more questions. Oh, alright, I'll answer just this once: yes. Ta!"With that, he vanishes.
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"But, wait! I'm still dead!"Suddenly he reappears.
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"Oh, one more thing. Say hello to Miss Invictus when you meet her."He grins.
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"And ask her to do the dog thing. She absolutely won't be offended at all and most definitely won't incinerate you with fifteen million kelvin worth of fiery rage until you're nothing but extremely fine dust."He vanishes again.
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"Sheogorath?"No answer.
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"Deadric Prince of madness? Come out, come out wherever you are?"Silence.
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"Sheggy-poo with cherries on top?"Nothing.
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"Well. That was...whatever it was. Guess he's gone. So now what? I was kind of hoping I'd come out of that contest alive again. Or at least better off somehow. You guys have any ideas what to do here? Because I don't. If not, it's back to singing for eternity I guess. How about some Frozen? I'm no Elsa, but after dying, watching my corpse get looted, then either wasting an afternoon talking to a mad god, or actually going mad and hallucinating it...I feel like some 'Let it Go.'"Michael sings.
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"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen."
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"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried."
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"Great. Looks like somebody else coming to loot my corpse some more. Sorry, nothing left. ...wait. Is that...?"It's Awesomicus. He's running and jumping his way down the beach.
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"Awesomicus! Hey! Over here!"When he gets to about 60 feet away he sees Michael's body and comes over.
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"Yes! I'm saved!. Look, I know you probably can't hear me, but you can see my body so you've gotta help me somehow. Can you get Pinkie? Maybe she can help. Or maybe if you take my body back to a healer...wait, if you take my body am I still going to be stuck here? Am I attached to my body or the place where I died? This could be bad."While Michael talks to himself, a scroll appears in Awesomicus' hands.
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"Woe upon you."As he speaks the words, both the scroll and Michael's body are engulfed in a flurry of white sparkles.
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"Woe upon me? What are you-"Suddenly, you're laying on your back looking up at an orc.
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"I'm alive! Hahah, YES!"You leap up and give him a great big hug.
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"Thank you! Thank you so much! Being dead was terrible! Somebody looted my corpse and I got stuck playing dumb games with a mad god and I had to sing to keep from going crazy and I'm not sure I didn't and - thank you! Thank you!":
"Whoa, look...I know I'm awesome and all, but...relax.":
"How did you know I was here? How'd you bring me back? What was that scroll? Where did yo-"Suddenly it becomes difficult to speak. Something's wrong. Your head is starting to hurt and your face feels funny.
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"Hhreeeehhh!!!"You take a massive gulp of air.
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"Dude! Seriously. Chill!":
"Sorry! Just...forgot I had to breathe. Was dead too long. Sorry."He looks at you skeptically.
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"Yeah, no problem. So now what?":
"What do you mean?":
"What's next? Yeah, yeah. I know. 'Epic quest chain.' No reward until later. I get it. Just, less talking. More action. What's next?"Apparently he thinks this is all part of the quest chain you started him on earlier?
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"Umm...humor me for a moment. What's going on? Last I saw you was when that creature attacked Seyda Neen.":
"Dude, yeah! That part was awesome!"He starts jumping around, punching the air and making fight sound effects.
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"I was like HYYA!!! and jumped up onto the roof and he was like...uhh, what sound does a monkey-octopus-thing make?":
"Squish?"He laughs.
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"Haha, yeah, that's it! I was like POW! and he was all like SQUISH and I was like POW some more! Hahah! It was awesome.":
"So what happened after that?":
"Ehh, well, I talked to some guy, and he sent me to that one dude, and he asked me to go kill what's his name, then I went back and some other stuff happened that was totally lame. And then the other guy sent me off to somewhere else, and then I got asked to come here to rezz...rezza...rezzer...uhh, make you not dead."While he talks you check your belongings. Almost everything you had was in your backpack that was taken. Fortunately the looter missed the bag you kept hidden inside your pants. You count 51 gold plus a lockpick and a potion of water walking. Not much, but at least its enough for 2-3 strider or mage guild trips. Also, while he took your magic dagger, it seems he left both your unenchanted iron ones, so you're not entirely defenseless. But that, plus your clothes and your heavily damaged chitin cuirass and greaves is all you have left. Guy even took your boots.
The worst loss though, is the dwemer puzzle box that Yagrum asked you to return to Divayth. Not only would that be terribly difficult to replace, the two of them were using it to exchange messages back and forth. Even if you found another puzzle box, it wouldn't have the message Yagrum gave you to give to Divayth. There's no way you can talk to Divayth again without him asking about it, and you're not particularly eager to tell the thousands-year-old Telvanni wizard that you lost his toy.
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"You were sent specifically to ressurect me? By name? 'Go ressurect Michael?'"He waves a hand in front of his face.
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"Yeah, whatever.":
"Who sent you?"He shrugs.
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"Dunno. Some dark elf."Not exactly helpful. But under the circumstances you're not about to complain. While you consider what to tell Awesomicus, you notice something.
Actually, this raises another interesting point. Right now we're really not sure what Michael is, so it's hard to say anything about his condition. But, assuming his body is dead and his spirit/soul is still around, that might imply spell knowledge is recorded on flesh as much as mind. That'd have some interesting implications.
You cast fleabite.
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"My magic is back."
Level 9
Health 61/61
Magicka 72/73
Armor rating: 2
28.4 Strength (20)
35.5 Speed (30)
43.5 Agility (30)
38.6 Endurance (30)
44.4 Intelligence (40)
42.0 Willpower (40)
45.2 Personality (40)
58.0 Luck (50)
Numbers in parenthesis are starting values
34 Acrobatics (0)
24 Athletics (5)
8 Armorer (0)
34 Light armor (0)
14 Block (0)
9 Unarmored (0)
7 Heavy Armor (0)
5 Medium Armor (0)
19 Shortblade
12 Hand to Hand
8 Spear
5 Blunt Weapon
5 Longblade
20 Destruction (0)
7 Alchemy (0)
5 Enchanting (0)
23 Speechcraft (10)
13 Mercantile (0)
* Chitin greaves (damaged)
* Chitin cuirass (damaged)
* Combat belt
* Iron dagger (guarskin sheathe)
* Iron dagger (guarskin sheathe)
* Commoner's shirt
* Commoner's pants
* Interior coinpurse, containing:
* 51 gold
* lockpick
* 1 potion of water walking
Bearer of Azura's Mark
Bearer of 'scholarly acquaintance of Divayth Fyr' mark
Imperial Legion, Recruit
Fighter's Guild, Associate (1 quest completed)
Mage Guild, Associate
Registered Sadrith Mora business visa, with slave-handling endorsement
Fleabite (cost:1) (Damage fatigue 1-10 on touch)
Alit Hide [1]Resist Poison
Ash yam [1]Restore personality
Ampoule Pod [1]Restore speed
Black Anther [1]Resist poison
Black lichen [1]Drain Health
Bread [1]Restore Fatigue
Bungler's Bane [1]Drain agility
Chokeweed [1]Drain health
Coda Flower [1]Restore luck
Comberry [1]Drain health
Corkbulb Root [1]Restore luck
Crab Meat [1]Restore fatigue
Gravedust [1]Burden
Green Lichen [1]Night Eye
Heather [1]Poison
Hound Meat [1]Poison
Hypha facia [1]Drain speed
Kresh fiber [1]Cure common disease
Kwama cuttle [1]Restore health
Large kwama egg [1]Restore fatigue
Luminous russ. [1]Paralysis
Marshmerrow [1]Resist common disease
Muck [1]Poison
Racer plume [1]Levitate
Rat meat [1]Poison
Roobrush [1]Restore intelligence
Saltrice [1]Restore endurance
Scale [1]Swift swim
Scathecraw [1]Paralyze
Spore pod [1]Paralysis
Stoneflower petal [1]Fortify health
Sm. Kwama Egg [1]Restore Fatigue
Violet coprinus [1]Water Walking
Whickwheat [1]Cure paralysis
Willow Anther [1]Water Breathing
What do you do?
Author
Topic: Marooned in Morrowind (FINISHED) (Read 435277 times)