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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193177 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1410 on: May 28, 2014, 10:01:12 am »

"Surrender and reveal your secrets and we will move on," Gervedder sternly tells the slug, determined to be the bad cop in this particular situation if nobody else is going to.

Circle slug, chop at brain unless attempt at intimidation succeeds!
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1411 on: May 28, 2014, 10:09:49 am »

"Why are we negotiating with a slug, again?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1412 on: May 28, 2014, 10:13:16 am »

"Why are we negotiating with a slug, again?"

"He may know something. It is a remote possibility, but one we can't ignore in good conscience. Also, we probably need to deal with him somehow, considering his penchant for violating innocent strangers. Do you know what it feels like to have one of his slimy tendrils in your ear? I assure you, your world will never be the same again. And not in a good way."
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1413 on: May 28, 2014, 10:17:46 am »

"But it... can't...  ...  whatever."
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1414 on: May 28, 2014, 10:19:31 am »

"But it... can't...  ...  whatever."

"I get the feeling you were about to invoke good sense at me. I will have you know that I invented that trick, and it has not worked yet."
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1415 on: May 28, 2014, 10:47:38 am »

I'm sure this won't backfire. Now then, let's go find my idiot companions.

Bukkar remembers something.

Ser, could you fireproof my barrel?
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1416 on: May 28, 2014, 03:04:54 pm »

"Awwwww, some people just aren't reasonable when they're whole. Oh well!"

Offensive buckler slash unless intimidation succeeds!
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1417 on: May 28, 2014, 03:18:45 pm »

((By my count, Wind Blast I shouldn't be recharged yet.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1418 on: May 28, 2014, 04:09:10 pm »

"...No! I'm not going to the nook! You can't make me!" Lady Foxglove called out suddenly and incoherently, no doubt a sufferance of head trauma-made worse by lack of hat to cover her glorious, gory plumage.

She whipped out her crossbow and began spraying it machine gun style at the mass of shuddering goo she thought was perhaps an overweight, slimy tax collector-indeed, so far ahead of the trends she could do so hundreds of years before firearms or tax collectors were invented.

"File your taxes quarterly!" She raved madly.

Action: Spray Crossbow bolts at the slug-fiend!

((Still no internet! :P But...one day...))
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1419 on: May 28, 2014, 04:48:16 pm »

((Still no internet! :P But...one day...))
((Aw.))
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1420 on: May 28, 2014, 07:02:37 pm »

Throw a shield up and make a mad dash for the armor shop while shooting backwards and cackling at the crazed vigilantes!
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.112
« Reply #1421 on: May 29, 2014, 04:54:35 am »

Turn One Hundred and Twelve

The Temple of Sef...

Circle slug, chop at brain unless attempt at intimidation succeeds!

Action: Spray Crossbow bolts at the slug-fiend!

Offensive buckler slash unless intimidation succeeds!

"Surrender and reveal your secrets and we will move on," orders Gervedder, with disappointingly total failure.

Tackov is about to question the wisdom of this course of action, when the slug, with two fires coming out of his brain, doesn’t take kindly to being not-quite-intimidated, and leaps at the kindly yet stern Gervedder, failing to squeeze him in his arms, and leaving himself open to Gervedder’s burning deathaxe, although this isn’t as terrible as it might at first sound, although it does actually hit him, on reflection, setting him on fire once more, this time in the guts, so it is fairly terrible I suppose.

Burning slug guts seem to awaken something primal in the barely-present-since-her-head-injury Lady Foxglove, who suddenly leaps up, insulting the multiburning slugthing and rapidfiring crossbow bolts at its face to little effect.

"File your taxes quarterly!" she adds, equally devastatingly.

Sylvanna decides enough is enough, and chops off the slug’s head, which rolls about squelchily on the floor for a while, burning.

…   …   …   …   …   …

Presumably, the four adventurers look around the room a bit, or a bit more than they already did. They find that, beyond the slug’s corpse, there is a simple and shut wooden door, to the east. And to the south there is a better quality shut wooden door. The rest of the room appears bare.

Elsewhere…

Throw a shield up and make a mad dash for the armor shop while shooting backwards and cackling at the crazed vigilantes!

Whiz, who is confronted by crazed vigilantes who have taken umbrage with his violent slaying of yet another granny, is dressed somewhat like a mummy. A mummy with a giant rat’s tail – and two crossbows.

He is about to create a magical shield of pure power, when suddenly he realises he auto-loses initiative due to the constricting bandages of mummydom, and the vigilantes close upon him, farm implements at the sharp and pointy ready!

Looking down at his shining groin, Whiz hopes that they strike him upon it, and places his faith in his new but very partial armour. He backs off, preparing his magic and his weapons as he attempts to deflect the close range thrusts.

Eight men surround him!

The first foolish granny-protector stabs towards Whiz’s neck with his scythe, slips on a passing cockroach, and falls face forward onto a pointy cobble. Whiz seizes his chances, puts his crossbow down to the unconscious man’s head, and splatters the man’s brains everywhere! He’s slightly repulsed, but his enemies are crazed, and barely notice his display of seriousness, continuing to thrust and stab with wild and inaccurate abandon. One hayfork lunges at the wizard’s groinbone, and is deflected by his armour from causing anything worse than a nasty gash, but then a second hayfork gets Whiz right in the head!

Whiz staggers about with a 6 foot long fork sticking out of his earbone!

Taking the opportunity that this mild distraction provides, Whiz raises his shield, backs away through the throng, and is slightly too overexcited to hit with either of his close range crossbow bolts.

Looking over his shoulder, he figures he is still another turn or even two away from the armour shop and safety.

Wound Acquired: Whiz the Mummy: Heavily Bleeding Groin

Wound Acquired: Whiz the Mummy: Very Heavily Bleeding Head

Ser, could you fireproof my barrel?

”Senor…  Your… your wooden barrel? Muchas sorry, but… fireproofing wood. It is the black arts! Perhaps, perhaps I could recommend vomiting upon the fires that burn upon the barrel that fits upon the Bukkar? Besides, such a sturdy barrel! A handsome barrel! Surely nothing to worry about. Si.”

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Monstrous slug (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.112
« Reply #1422 on: May 29, 2014, 05:01:08 am »

Very well then! To glory and whatever we were doing at the last time I saw those people!

Heroically go look around for the party, or traces of their passage. Interrogate the townspeople if necessary.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.112
« Reply #1423 on: May 29, 2014, 05:12:25 am »

Very well then! To glory and whatever we were doing at the last time I saw those people!

Heroically go look around for the party, or traces of their passage. Interrogate the townspeople if necessary.

Disappointingly for Bukkar, interrogating the townspeople does not end up being necessary, and he soon finds himself equidistant between four sets of very obviously adventurer’s footprints very obviously heading towards Crikeyface Jack’s pub and the portal to the Temple of Sef, and a crowd of angry looking men in dresses pointing farming implements at his old companion Whiz, who appears to be attempting to flee the crowd of angry men.

Bukkar reckons that, with the power of rage, he could probably join up with either group by, say, the next turn.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.112
« Reply #1424 on: May 29, 2014, 05:31:32 am »

Bukkar's face lights up at the prospect of fighting! It's hard to see in the barrel, but still.
Roñardo! Throw me at those angry dress people.

Get thrown at the crowd chasing Whiz, hopefully frightening them with the sight of a vomit-soaked man with a burning face hurtling toward them in a barrel covered in bling.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))
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