Turn Twenty FiveSlash Robber 3 with my cutlass.
In the bank, both robbers lunge forward at the vigilante wizard,
…both proving as inept at stabbing as they were at shooting. Parrying the unwounded criminal’s thrust, Whiz slashes at his opponent’s knife-arm with his murderous cutlass.
…His slash is awkward, and he only bashes the forearm with the flat of his blade, causing mild discomfort.
One of them still pouring blood, his enemies rally themselves for one last attempt.
… … … … … …
Receive answer. If in favor, examine the peasants carefully. Are they actually undead or, for that matter, particularly hostile-looking? Maybe they're just unusually fetid peasants tired after a hard day's work, after all. If the answer to both of those questions is a clear and resounding "yes", run in circles around the peasants and try to shoot one of them in the leg. See if that helps matters any. If against, lead the triumphant charge directly away from danger while making a minimum of fuss.
Back in the temple, Gervedder the Messenger is pondering the ways of peace. Perhaps these non-hostile looking creatures are merely unusually fetid peasants tired after a hard day’s toil tending the… uh… underground fields?
"Oh – come on Messenger," interrupts Lady Foxglove,
"I am sort a Paladin, you know, without all those troublesome morals. Necromancy is an affront to the Gods. I'm supposed to destroy undead.
Particularly, unfashionable ones!"There seems to be a distant sound; an echoing
tish… tish… tish…"Me bleedin' arse! Feck! Let's blast the feckers!"”Hmm… You’re probably both right. Let us smite these troublesome eejits!” says Gervedder, somewhat painfully, before starting a large arcing circular run round the peasants and
…menacingly shooting the ground some distance away from them.
Action: Holy Smite on the probable Zombies! By which I mean, shoot them full of ordinary crossbow bolts while complimenting on the Goddess Ravena's hair!
"Messenger… Really. Let me demonstrate. Have a crossbow makeover courtesy of the power of Ravena, you passé freaks!
Um, may the power of her bouncy, lustrous and fashionably shoulder length hair destroy you! She doesn't even use dye, it's totally natural - I'm so jealous!"…Ravena doesn’t appear to be listening, and thinking about the Goddess’s wondrous hair clearly doesn’t help Lady Foxglove’s aim.
…At least the bit of floor she hits looks a little more dangerous than Gervedder’s innocent victim.
Pah. Mummies? That's all they've got?
Sally forth and punch the monsters to redeath!
Bukkar knows that the mistake of his comrades is not to close with the enemy; not to reduce the distance in which the intervention of wind, fate and the gods can blow one’s strike off target and into the useless void of wall and floor; not to fix the enemy in the whites – or, in this case, rotting yellows – of his eyes and to stand face to face, chin to chin, manly chest to manly chest before loosing off a true and honest fist to make prideful contact with one’s opponent’s noble visage.
…To illustrate his point he stumbles forwards, trips up in the darkness, and punches the villainous stone flooring repeatedly, politely enquiring whether it likes it or not.
…The nearest monster ambles towards him, unable to work out how to bite a prone victim.
Insult knife fight a zombie. It's automatic victory if the enemy doesn't insult back, right?
ROUND ONE OF THREE:Insult Knife Fight: Medha Correo, Curse Crafter, vs Zombie Number Two, Zombie!…Medha Correo lunges forward, shouting something about
You fight like er… like… you fight in an ineffective manner rather similar to my incompetent comrades, you unusually fetid peasant-like fellow!…Zombie Number Two punches Medha in the guts so hard they break: she flies backwards towards the entrance arch!
Unfortunately, in its haste, the zombie forgets to reply.
Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Broken Guts!ROUND ONE VICTOR: MEDHA CORREO!Assuming hostile intent is noted, Wind Blast one of the feckers into the other fecker.
Noting a considerable amount of not only hostile intent but, indeed, hostile act, Tackov stops bleeding from the arse briefly, and turns his mind instead to Wind Blasting feckers into feckers.
…The fecker brutalising Medha is blasted backwards, arms and legs amusingly stretched forward, and sent crashing into first the second fecker and then the wall!
The first fecker’s legs are bruised and its arms snap! The second fecker’s face and chest are horrifically mashed!
Temple:
Bank:
Robber One: Dead (broken head)
Robber Two: 20/50, bleeding head, very heavy bleeding and mangled right arm, -1 to attacks.
Robber Three: 50/50.
Temple:
Zombie One: 75/75, broken arms, -1 to melee
Zombie Two: 55/75
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 45/55] |
Poisoned Buttock!!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, 3 Yuros, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage.
Health: [HP: 70/80] |
Pierced Chest!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 2 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Billy’s Potion of Being Big and Strong and Things,
Medium Health Potion x1, Cutlass.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage, -1 to dodge.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Broken Guts!Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 78 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 10 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 Yuros.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, 2 Yuros.