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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193274 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #390 on: June 03, 2013, 07:06:11 am »

"Okay, traps and undead. What say you, team, do we take this generously provided opportunity for loot and prestige or do we run like hell and never speak of it again?"

Receive answer. If in favor, examine the peasants carefully. Are they actually undead or, for that matter, particularly hostile-looking? Maybe they're just unusually fetid peasants tired after a hard day's work, after all. If the answer to both of those questions is a clear and resounding "yes", run in circles around the peasants and try to shoot one of them in the leg. See if that helps matters any. If against, lead the triumphant charge directly away from danger while making a minimum of fuss.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 08:15:48 am by Harry Baldman »
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #391 on: June 03, 2013, 08:00:14 am »

"Oh-come on Messenger, I am sort a Paladin, you know, without all those troublesome morals-Necromancy is an affront to the Gods. I'm supposed to destroy undead.

Particularly, unfashionable ones!"


Having not used a Holy smite prayer very often, Lady Foxglove made up one on the spot.

"...Have a crossbow makeover courtesy of the power of Ravena, you passe freaks!

Um, may the power of her bouncy, lustrous and fashionably shoulder length hair destroy you! She doesn't even use dye, it's totally natural-I'm so jealous!"
She shooped awkwardly, firing her....crossbow.

She hoped the Goddess was listening! Maybe she'd make the undead explode? She totally did that...like once or twice...

Action: Holy Smite on the probable Zombies! By which I mean, shoot them full of ordinary crossbow bolts while complimenting on the Goddess Ravena's hair!
« Last Edit: June 03, 2013, 08:03:34 am by Dwarmin »
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #392 on: June 03, 2013, 08:40:08 am »

"Me bleedin' arse!  Feck!  Let's blast the feckers!"

Assuming hostile intent is noted, Wind Blast one of the feckers into the other fecker.


EDIT:  Also, I call bullcrap on that being random.

"With as many people as likely have been in here, I doubt any traps remain untripped."

I totally attracted any traps onto myself.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #393 on: June 03, 2013, 10:47:40 am »

Pah. Mummies? That's all they've got?

Sally forth and punch the monsters to redeath!
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #394 on: June 03, 2013, 12:19:54 pm »

Slash Robber 3 with my cutlass.
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Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.24
« Reply #395 on: June 03, 2013, 03:20:15 pm »

Insult knife fight a zombie. It's automatic victory if the enemy doesn't insult back, right?
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #396 on: June 06, 2013, 03:17:15 am »

Turn Twenty Five

Slash Robber 3 with my cutlass.

In the bank, both robbers lunge forward at the vigilante wizard, both proving as inept at stabbing as they were at shooting. Parrying the unwounded criminal’s thrust, Whiz slashes at his opponent’s knife-arm with his murderous cutlass.

His slash is awkward, and he only bashes the forearm with the flat of his blade, causing mild discomfort.

One of them still pouring blood, his enemies rally themselves for one last attempt.

…   …   …   …   …   …

Receive answer. If in favor, examine the peasants carefully. Are they actually undead or, for that matter, particularly hostile-looking? Maybe they're just unusually fetid peasants tired after a hard day's work, after all. If the answer to both of those questions is a clear and resounding "yes", run in circles around the peasants and try to shoot one of them in the leg. See if that helps matters any. If against, lead the triumphant charge directly away from danger while making a minimum of fuss.

Back in the temple, Gervedder the Messenger is pondering the ways of peace. Perhaps these non-hostile looking creatures are merely unusually fetid peasants tired after a hard day’s toil tending the… uh… underground fields?

"Oh – come on Messenger," interrupts Lady Foxglove, "I am sort a Paladin, you know, without all those troublesome morals. Necromancy is an affront to the Gods. I'm supposed to destroy undead.

Particularly, unfashionable ones!"


There seems to be a distant sound; an echoing tish… tish… tish…

"Me bleedin' arse!  Feck!  Let's blast the feckers!"

”Hmm… You’re probably both right. Let us smite these troublesome eejits!” says Gervedder, somewhat painfully, before starting a large arcing circular run round the peasants and menacingly shooting the ground some distance away from them.

Action: Holy Smite on the probable Zombies! By which I mean, shoot them full of ordinary crossbow bolts while complimenting on the Goddess Ravena's hair!

"Messenger… Really. Let me demonstrate. Have a crossbow makeover courtesy of the power of Ravena, you passé freaks!

Um, may the power of her bouncy, lustrous and fashionably shoulder length hair destroy you! She doesn't even use dye, it's totally natural - I'm so jealous!"


Ravena doesn’t appear to be listening, and thinking about the Goddess’s wondrous hair clearly doesn’t help Lady Foxglove’s aim. At least the bit of floor she hits looks a little more dangerous than Gervedder’s innocent victim.

Pah. Mummies? That's all they've got?

Sally forth and punch the monsters to redeath!

Bukkar knows that the mistake of his comrades is not to close with the enemy; not to reduce the distance in which the intervention of wind, fate and the gods can blow one’s strike off target and into the useless void of wall and floor; not to fix the enemy in the whites – or, in this case, rotting yellows – of his eyes and to stand face to face, chin to chin, manly chest to manly chest before loosing off a true and honest fist to make prideful contact with one’s opponent’s noble visage.

To illustrate his point he stumbles forwards, trips up in the darkness, and punches the villainous stone flooring repeatedly, politely enquiring whether it likes it or not.

The nearest monster ambles towards him, unable to work out how to bite a prone victim.

Insult knife fight a zombie. It's automatic victory if the enemy doesn't insult back, right?

ROUND ONE OF THREE:

Insult Knife Fight: Medha Correo, Curse Crafter, vs Zombie Number Two, Zombie!

Medha Correo lunges forward, shouting something about You fight like er… like… you fight in an ineffective manner rather similar to my incompetent comrades, you unusually fetid peasant-like fellow!

Zombie Number Two punches Medha in the guts so hard they break: she flies backwards towards the entrance arch!

Unfortunately, in its haste, the zombie forgets to reply.

Wound Acquired: Medha Correo: Broken Guts!

ROUND ONE VICTOR: MEDHA CORREO!

Assuming hostile intent is noted, Wind Blast one of the feckers into the other fecker.

Noting a considerable amount of not only hostile intent but, indeed, hostile act, Tackov stops bleeding from the arse briefly, and turns his mind instead to Wind Blasting feckers into feckers.

The fecker brutalising Medha is blasted backwards, arms and legs amusingly stretched forward, and sent crashing into first the second fecker and then the wall!

The first fecker’s legs are bruised and its arms snap! The second fecker’s face and chest are horrifically mashed!

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #397 on: June 06, 2013, 03:22:26 am »

You sneaky bastards. Trying to get me to attack the innocent floor, eh?! Well, Bukkar Crangrom is smarter than th- SURPURSE ATTACK BITCHES!

SURPRISE ATTACK (by which I mean jump at Zombie one and punch the feck out of it while Rage Lazoring away at it) the mangled fecker!
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #398 on: June 06, 2013, 03:49:11 am »

Action: Tactics change! Push one of the statues onto an ugly and slow zombie! Critical Damage!
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #399 on: June 06, 2013, 07:56:42 am »

Run past the mangled pile of zombies while shooting the non-crippled one in the knee with the crossbow.
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #400 on: June 06, 2013, 11:02:59 am »

Attack Robber 2.
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Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #401 on: June 06, 2013, 11:05:07 am »

Bask in the glow of moral victory, then opportunistically insultstabbinate Zombie 2 for victory and profit.
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.25
« Reply #402 on: June 06, 2013, 12:37:16 pm »

"Blimey."

Typhoon up another Wind Blast.

Can I use Typhoon on others?
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #403 on: June 07, 2013, 04:43:48 am »

Turn Twenty Six

Attack Robber 2.


The two robbers make one last desperate charge at Whiz in the bank: he sidesteps the first, slashes him in the guts, and watches as the criminal passes out from the pain and collapses to the floor in a pile of blood.

The surviving robber flees, only for several customers to jump up and pounce on him, knocking him to the ground and beginning to kick him in the head repeatedly!

…   …   …   …   …   …

Action: Tactics change! Push one of the statues onto an ugly and slow zombie! Critical Damage!

Back in the temple, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III demonstrates her speed, intelligence, and horrendously violent and vicious brutality by moving before everyone else once more and pushing one of the heavy rock statues onto the nearest slow, ugly, and badly dressed zombie.

Its legs are crushed off!

Wound Acquired: Zombie Two: Severed Legs!

Quote from: zombie two
Try to drag self with arms to bite Foxglove’s feet!

The severely mangled zombie tries to drag itself over to Lady Foxglove’s feet and chew on them, but only manages to smack its forehead against the stone flooring!

Luckily it has neither a sense of pain nor a sense of idiocy.

Run past the mangled pile of zombies while shooting the non-crippled one in the knee with the crossbow.

((target automatically changed to the less crippled enemy))

Gervedder skirts round the pile of zombies, dodging the autonomously moving severed legs and shooting the more dangerous merely slightly mangled foe in the knee!

The zombie takes an arrow to the knee, but continues being a zombie!

Bask in the glow of moral victory, then opportunistically insultstabbinate Zombie 2 for victory and profit.

Zombie two is, indeed, quite unable to resist as Medha Correo comes up and pierces its heart with her evil dagger!

”You fight like you smell: like a round of rotten Stinking Eejit cheese!” she manages to blurt out before having to cover her nose and face as she rifles through the zombie’s belongings.

She loots a bag of four hundred Green Farthings and a round of rotten Stinking Eejit cheese!

Typhoon up another Wind Blast.

"Blimey," observes Tackov. "That smells. Ooh, my arse feels all weak!"

Stepping away from the melee he readies his deadly Wind Blast spell.

Quote from: zombie one
Engage the enemy in-

SURPRISE ATTACK (by which I mean jump at Zombie one and punch the feck out of it while Rage Lazoring away at it) the mangled fecker!

You sneaky bastards. Trying to get me to attack the innocent floor, eh?! Well, Bukkar Crangrom is smarter than th- SURPURSE ATTACK BITCHES!

As Zombie one advances on him, Bukkar Crangrom jumps to his feet, feints with a weak punch to the groin, and, his rage reaching critical, shoots lazors of pure rage out of his eyes, severely burning the zombie’s face and setting his eyes on fire!

Wound Acquired: Zombie One: Burning Eyes!

Lurching forward like some kind of zombie, Zombie One tries to burn at Bukkar a bit, but his sightless attack is ineffectual.

Just then a passing drunkard leaps out of the shadows!

”What’d you call my mother, you sweat-ridden scrotum?!”

He punches Bukkar in the chest with all his force, causing the Rage Mage Severe Pain!

Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom: Severe Pain!

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 07, 2013, 10:11:11 am by lawastooshort »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.26
« Reply #404 on: June 07, 2013, 04:51:02 am »

Run past the violent drunkard while distracting him, hoping to make him turn his back on Bukkar.

"Sir duelist! You dropped your giant sack of money! Why, there's a hundred Yuros in here!"
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