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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193432 times)

Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.7
« Reply #180 on: May 06, 2013, 01:23:18 am »

((I mistook that for an actual update, Dwarmin. I got excited and everything. A pox upon you!))

((Good thing I wore my Pox-proof armor today...

Also, why not entertain us with an enlightening and longwinded story of Medhas mysterious past? :P ))

((That's time I could use to update an RtD or two...))
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.7
« Reply #181 on: May 07, 2013, 02:47:22 am »

Sorry everyone, family full holiday weekend which was unexpectedly full. Don't think I even checked the forum for two or three days. I will be getting it together today, after I have read Dwarmin's post ;)

((I mistook that for an actual update, Dwarmin. I got excited and everything. A pox upon you!))

I'm touched :)
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Tiruin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.7
« Reply #182 on: May 07, 2013, 07:01:26 am »

((You're lawastooshort, of course you are! :P

And Dwarmin. Love how he does it.))
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #183 on: May 07, 2013, 09:58:45 am »

Turn Eight

”Say,” says Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III to no one in particular, holding the darkened leather quiver up to the Istrian moonlight, ”I’ve seen one of these before…”

She turns it over in her hands a couple of times before drawing out a couple of bolts, and then a couple more, and then finally a whole handful, which she throws dismissively to the ground before peering back inside the quiver and giving it a resentful sniff. She holds it back up to the light for one last closer look, letting out a soft whistle as she finally decides.

”Unlimited quivers… Astoundingly rare. Bane of the legions on the Southern Borderlands. Strange that this should so resemble Desm-”

Some idiot’s head unhelpfully and awkwardly smashing into the side of her knee interrupts what might have passed, for Lady Foxglove, as the first rising bubbles of the surfacing warmth of fond memories. She looks angrily down at the cloaked form on the ground next to her.

Be generally helpful and not awkward and stop people from bleeding.

”Hello!” cries Tackov, looking up at Lady Foxglove. ”The er… Hrmm! Ouch!”

Action: Find that useless Halfling Scout and get him to go summon the rest of the pony warriors. Start a Kobold Ear Collection Necklace in the meantime!

Lady Foxglove stomps off, accidentally treading on a couple of Tackov’s finger tips as she looks for the equally useless halfling scout and sends him off to summon the rest of his pony midgets. Watching him ride off she kicks over the nearest kobold corpse, pulls out a knife, stoops down, and starts her kobold ear collection necklace.

Bloodied kobold skin should set off her complexion exquisitely.

Take all of the kobold's stuff, including any bolts if there are any.

Interview kobold. If it can't communicate meaningfully with me, knock it out and try to go help Medha before she bleeds to death.

"So, my friend," starts Gervedder, poking his now naked and cold captive kobold in the chest with his new quiver, "Care to tell me where the rest of your group tends to hide? Are you mobile or do you have an encampment?"

The kobold stares sullenly at his feet. The messenger scratches his chin.

"Wait, do you even speak my language?"

Your language? Your language, you pale-skinned overgrown loud-mouthed halfwit? You stinking sav-“

Gervedder smacks the kobold in the side of the head with his crossbow. The kobold remembers where he is and points with his chin to the mountains in the east.

”Of course we’ve got… an encampment. We’re not bloody nomads you know. We’ve lived in the mountains for generations. Under Mount Kuriel. It’s only now tha- wait – why did you take me alive? You mean to take me-“

The kobold cuts himself off, turning and running before Gervedder can react – before anyone can react in fact. Anyone except for Bukkar.

Bukkar searches for any remaining kobolds. And kills them.

Bukkar gleefully eyes the backside of the fleeing kobold, sprints headlong after the poor wounded creature, and smashes his burning foot of rage right through both backside and kobold.

He raises his arms and his eyes to the sky.

”Muhahahahahahahaha!”

Bandage. Bandage EVERYTHING. (Prioritizing the wounds would be prudent...)

Attempt to fix my wounds.

Meanwhile both Whiz and Medha lie about on the ground, contorting and grunting as they, each independently of the other, wrap their bleeding chins and livers in as many torn strips of once fine dress as they can.

They’re both just getting up, feeling quite a bit better, when the small band of warpony mounted halflings trots up.

Captain Mandro wipes what look distinctively like croissant crumbs from his scraggly beard as he brings his warpony to a halt. He doesn’t look terribly pleased.

”You were meant to bloody well rendezvous in Megden at the bloody inn! What the bloody hell’s all this – I’d only just got through one early breakf-er one patrol of the bloody village! You have news?”

He looks closely at the barely dressed and extremely bandaged pair.

”Hurrumph. They got away? They were too much for you?”

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #184 on: May 07, 2013, 10:19:10 am »

Are you just not showing my terrible failure rolls of attempting to bandage myself, to hide my incredible shame at how poor they are?

Perhaps I should use kobold body parts.  Kobolthigh?

Attempt to bandage myself again.  Bleeding is bad, mmmk?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #185 on: May 07, 2013, 10:31:17 am »

Gervedder sighs softly at the sad sight of the sole source of splendidly significant facts about the kobold race become fodder for the bloody halfwit. And now the halflings are here. Better look good.

"Tee-hee! Kobold went bye-bye!"

Sing gleefully.

"Ding dong, kobolds dead! Killed a lot, some got shot, jolly good times for all! Yee-hee!"

Help Tackov with his bandaging if necessary.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #186 on: May 07, 2013, 11:04:04 am »

Lady Foxglove struts up to Mandro.

"Don't mind those bleeding fools, good Captain Mandro. It's my fault for hiring such poor excuses for talent."

She stepped closer, and held out the ear collection, keeping it at arms length. She smiled grimly, tossing it the luckless scout.

"Unfortunately, I was on my way to the inn when those Kobolds you were supposed to drive to us ambushed our party instead-but we killed a good three quarters of them, along with a captain of a sorts. As if these things have any sort of rank...anyway, there can't be more than half a dozen of the little buggers left and they'll be hieing toward the hills as fast as their little tails can take them. You know how annoying it is to count Kobolds in the middle of a fight.

Also, we gathered some intelligence that might be of use to you, well, I think we'll need to discuss fulfillment of our agreed contract before I can recall the details exactly."
She said coyly.

"Say, don't look so angry captain-we've still plenty of time for breakfast after business, don't we, you and I? And think of how we can spin this victory to your Lord Anarya when you introduce me...why, promotions, medals, gold, victory feast, a big fancy hat...you'd look good in a fancy hat, Mandro. Very dashing." She said, smiling dazzlingly, before reaching out and straightening his tiny collar coquettishly. Ah, the men loved that.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2013, 11:06:08 am by Dwarmin »
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #187 on: May 07, 2013, 11:38:28 am »

"Finally got the damn bolt out of my face!"

Help Tackov with his wounds. Also, since no one else seems to have grabbed it, grab the dead sergeant's armor.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2013, 11:49:44 am by Chink »
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.8
« Reply #188 on: May 07, 2013, 11:44:39 am »

I now have nothing to do that does not involve my 'teammates' dying.

Bukkar walks up to EasilyManipulated McCaptain.

Got any beer?
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #189 on: May 08, 2013, 06:15:18 am »

Turn Nine

Attempt to bandage myself again.  Bleeding is bad, mmmk?

Recalling the hole in his thigh, Tackov Cedtry decides to put an end to the bleeding, tripping over awkwardly, and uncomfortable failures at attempted small talk. He starts wrapping himself thoroughly with the strips of Whiz’s dress he recently molested away from the poor wizard.

Help Tackov with his wounds. Also, since no one else seems to have grabbed it, grab the dead sergeant's armor.

The aforementioned wizard clearly bears no grudges (he isn’t, in any case, even three quarters naked yet) – he wanders over to Tackov and stands there helpfully whilst failing entirely either to ram the stunty kobold’s magical armour down over his shoulders or to offer Tackov any helpful medical advice

Neither is surprising: he’s much too big to wear kobold armour and it would be difficult even for a thigh wound specialist to diagnose with any degree of accuracy with a suit of kobold armour stuck on his head and, importantly, over his eyes.

At least he’s finally got that damn bolt out of his face!

Sing gleefully.

Help Tackov with his bandaging if necessary.

"Tee-hee!" sings Gervedder the Apprentice Fool. "Kobold went bye-bye! Ding dong, kobolds dead! Killed a lot, some got shot, jolly good times for all! Yee-hee "

He cartwheels energetically over to Tackov and stands there gibbering and gesticulating until he’s sure the halflings aren’t paying him any attention.

He points helpfully at Tackov’s half-bandaged thigh.

"You should, you know, bandage that up or something."

Lady Foxglove struts up to Mandro.

Bukkar walks up to EasilyManipulated McCaptain.

”Got any beer?” asks Bukkar Crangrom, towering over Captain Mandro. ”Hey, you’ve got ginger hair too!”

”It’s strawberry blond! Not ging-“

"Don't mind those bleeding fools, good Captain Mandro," interrupts Lady Foxglove. "It's my fault for hiring such poor excuses for talent. Perhaps in Nirila I might find some men more suitable for my… purposes. Anyway..."

…   …   …   …   …   …

…A few hours later, heavier by fifty Yuros and two of the finest breakfasts the village of Megden could rouse up before dawn, the six adventurers and Captain Mandro ride into the small town of Nirila with their halfling escort waddling along behind.

It’s a low, flat, sprawling wooden town along the banks of the slovenly river Immor, a wide river that meanders its way across the south of the main landmass of Istria and used for trade for as long as anyone can remember. With trade from the river, food from the plains, and more dangerous riches from the mountains to the east for the more adventurous, Nirila is a fairly prosperous place. It’s not exactly the centre of civilisation though, and has a reputation as occasionally being a little unsavoury.

The town spills over from the wooden palisades protecting the older, richer centre, and there are two focal points within: the stone castle to the north, and the docks to the south.

In between is the main square, where a semblance of civilised glamour is kept up – the finer merchants, good restaurants, tended trees and tidied benches.

Mandro reins up explains to his guests that he must report and where he can be found, and, after the adventurers dismount, rides off with his tired patrol.

Almost immediately a couple of morning drunks sidle up to Gervedder.

”Lost, your honour? Where you off to, your honour? Looking for somewhere? Someone? Eh? Nudge nudge? You be wanting directions, I reckon, eh? Spare us a green farthing, eh?”

One of them loses interest as soon as he spots the half-dressed Medha.

”Hello…”

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #190 on: May 08, 2013, 07:19:41 am »

Gervedder smiles at the usual fare coming his way.

"Actually, I most certainly am, good sirs. I have several questions for you, to be frank."

"Firstly, where am I? As in, what continent, country or any other specifics that might matter?"

"Secondly, what can you buy for a single Yuro, ten Yuros and fifty Yuros, respectively?"

"Thirdly, what places should I visit in this fair town, and what places would best be avoided?"

"Fourthly, do you know where Mount Kuriel is and how can I reach it from here?"

"Now, all of these questions are quite important, and I might be inclined to tip you something if I like the answers."


Converse with the morning drunks (except Bukkar).
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 08:12:18 am by Harry Baldman »
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #191 on: May 08, 2013, 09:05:38 am »

Some of the morning drunks converse back; some of them eye up Medha shiftily.

”Well… Crikey. Must have had a good night, eh? We be in Istria, I spose – that’s the land, everywhere on the mainland that is, that’s just what they call it, and there isn’t a country as such – Nirila here is just part of the human confederation, as any fool know! Some lands are bigger, some smaller… Nirila I’d say is pretty small, though that Lord Anarya has a few airs and all that.”

”Mount Kuriel – that’s an easy one, your honour – it’s the biggest one in the Durial mountains – over there east of the plains. Some of them have mines and stuff that way, good work for brave men, I’m told, on account of the night creatures and all that stalk… the night and stuff. You know, the vicious midgets. They say they come into the town sometimes, steal all the maidens and so on. Have a good drink. Take the shiny trinkets. You can reach it easy enough – head off to Megden, then a day across the plains and a day into the mountains and Bob’s your uncle.”

”Now… a single Yuro-“

”Deafarse’d sell you his granny for a single Yuro!”

”Shut it, bunghole – you already did anyway, yer miserable maggot, I’m talking to the foreign milord here – well. A single Yuro. Well, you see, there’s a hunnerd green farthings to one Yuro. Now, you might get… a drink, a bed and a cracking meal in a pretty decent tavern for a Yuro? A nicely made short sword for ten? And well, for fifty… you’d probably get knocked on the ‘ead sharpish if you weren’t careful with it, but I don’t recall ever seeing fifty Yuros all at once.”

”Oh, don’t be an eejit, Deafarse. ‘Ere, your honour – you’d probably get a brand new one of them crossbows for about fifty Yuros, I reckon. All nice and shiny like.”

”Oi! ‘E’s my your honour, Cadge-ear… Visiting in this fair town? Crikey. I spose it’s not so bad in the right light. Well, the places to visit, that depends on what you’re after, dunnit? Fancy clothes? Fancy company? A fancy bed? All round there’s narrow streets that a rich looking foreign type might want to avoid, but there’s no place worse than another, except I spose the warrens outside the south wall. That’s where the most disreputable hang around I guess, an overspill from the docks you might say. Drainage. I wouldn’t go down there if I was a pretty lady like your missus ‘ere, I have to say. Any place you should visit, well, let’em know that Deafarse Morris sent you and Crikeyface Jack’s is a pretty damn friendly place to drink. It’s just down there on the right. We could go down there right now and have a few, eh?”

He points down away from the sunrise and flashes a yellow tooth at Gervedder in what he imagines to be a friendly and winning smile. His mate gives him a sharp kick in the shin and tries to outdo his friendly winning smile while Deafarse is distracted by the pain.

edit: a typo.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 10:01:04 am by lawastooshort »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #192 on: May 08, 2013, 09:22:53 am »

"Sorry, good fellows, but I'd best save the drinks for later. Got business first, I think. How about you two have a drink together for me? Have a dime each, friends. Spend it well."

Give Deafarse Morris and his mate a dime (10 green farthings) each for their exceptionally helpful advice.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #193 on: May 08, 2013, 09:38:20 am »

Ah, breakfast with Halflings. Whatever Captain Mandro has thought was going to happen ended in nothing but a tease and an empty promise of future favors. At least the tea and croissants were quite good.

What a sucker.

She at least needed some sort of challenge...

....

"Oh, drunks are so amusing." Lady Foxglove said in a droll voice.

"Everyone gather round for their share of the bounty. Even those who just caught arrows for the rest of our sakes. I'm taking the spare change for keeping you all from being gutted by pony warriors." She said.

Action: Hand out 8 yuros each to everybody. Lady Foxglove keeps the spare!

First to Tackov... "Try not to spend it all in one place, Tacky." She says, giving him a shoo gesture.
Then to Whiz... "Whose Whiznificent? You are!" She mentions, with as much false enthusiasm as possible.
Then to Medha... "Buy some clothes darling, hmm? You're enticing the local lecherous drunks." She says diplomatically, giving a well timed tsk tsk of womanly disapproval.
Then Bukkar... "Maybe get something to take the shine off, hmm?" She notes, speaking in a quieter voice than normal. Aww, he was hungover again.

And finally she walks up behind Gervedder. "For being such a good sport, messenger. Couldn't have sold it without your well timed...theatrics. Maybe next time, you can play the Lord and I'll play your Lady? I think I'd enjoy that. Of course you'd have to play the part. Why not clean yourself up a bit? That garish messenger uniform of yours is quite useless now that you've retired from your former profession.

I'm going now to get some things done, anyway...so come along if you like..."
She said sweetly, implications wild-mussing his hair with her free hand and slipping the money in his pocket with the other.

....

Lady Foxglove then took her leave (and her share of the money) and started stalking around town for a boutique, very possibly dragging a lucky (luckless?) messenger Whizard by the collar. Giving that the fire had scorched a bit of her usual ensemble, she was thinking of putting her hair up a bit short and bouncy...of course, she really needed a mirror to check for those crows feet...

Now!

Action: Take ten Yuros and look for some sort of beauty salon-get my hair done up nice in a place with a vanity quenching mirror to check my reflection. Drag Grevedder Whiz clothes shopping if he does not resist too much. He needs to look PRESENTABLE.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 11:03:07 am by Dwarmin »
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.9
« Reply #194 on: May 08, 2013, 09:46:35 am »

"I've got 3/4ths of a robe and some too small armor. I wonder what I could get made with that?

Search for a tailor who is willing to repair my robe with the Raider Armor. If I can't find one, look for a magic shop.
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