Turn Fifty Eight"Where are you all marching off to!" cries Lady Foxglove, Squid Queen Extraordinaire, as she stuffs another lance into the back pocket of her presumably black leather trousers,
"Look at all the loot on the ground here! Er... there... down there... Blast."She suddenly realises she can't reach the ground, busy as she is whirring round and round on her new flying warsquid, and takes a second look at the hand she just used to stuff the lance into her pocket. She's just about to think about it too much when she realises that a certain fine horse is missing.
"That dastard!" she cries,
"Who would be so low as to steal another person's loyal steed! Without, you know, at least displaying some form of acrobatic but at least politely violent challenge... Gah."She wheels around in the air in a notably angrier fashion than a few seconds ago, and feels as if the Lady Ravena herself has blessed her for her shameless hypocrisy, or for her spectacular squidjacking. It is hard to divine the reasoning of the Lady, but Foxglove most definitely feels more powerful that before she stole the squid. More... in turn with her calling, perhaps. More colour-matched with her mount?
"Oh double blast, trees ahead!!"There's a wheezy whoosh as Lady Foxglove swerves entirely unnecessary.
She's kind of getting the hang of this...
… … … … … ...
There's a sudden voice from below. Lady Foxglove is warmed by the thought that mostly everything will come from below her now.
"Oy, lookin' good, Lady Fox!" blurts Gervedder, saluting the new Squid-Riding Queen.
"That woz some mighty high sensible squid-jackery, thereabouts!""What?""Before we go on mates, let's check up tha Kobby Camp for some premium dosh, I wollop. I call dibsies on the varder!"”??””??!??””Oh, don't worry – he took an arrow to the brain, and some of us aren't quite... you know, as fortitudinous as the rest of us... Hey, you should check out these dead fellas... No, crap, I mean those dead fellas. These ones here are mine... I uh... they... curses, you see. Very dangerous in the wrong hands.”As Gervedder prances off – musically, of all ways to prance – Medha leans back down to her work. She appears to be mutilating a pair of corpses, and she is drenched in blood from head to toe. She seems quite content.
"I did get the sense earlier my good friend Lord Nirila was a bit too interested in our mission here, for mere pillow talk. But, would he resort to nighttime ambushes? He has an army and controls this land, after all-he could have had me thrown out the window after we were finished if he'd want to stop us. But, that's all mere conjecture. It's entirely possible he was just interested in finishing the conversation.
I don't suppose we'll really know unless, one of these men we killed was stupid enough to carry a scroll with written orders on his purpose.""Well, they were stupid enough to use glowing squid for nighttime ambushes." Medha remarks, wheezing a bit under the weight of her new loot.
"And even more stupid to pick a fight with me. The fact that I'm traveling with five just slightly less competent individuals is the cherry on the stupid cake. Still, wouldn't hurt to ask around if this Lord Niddly-Widdly has any... interesting connections. Or hobbies like cackling evilly on top of the highest tower of his castle while stroking a fat white cat, or his goatee, or if he is for whatever reason a Grand Vizier to his sovereign or... What do you think, oh Wise Mage?""What? Do I really have something in my teeth?""Er. Yeah. It kind of looks like... well, a bit of human gut?""Oh. Figures. Eww. Don't know what came over me."Tackov looks at his severed guts one last time.
"Poor guts."He stuffs them in his pocket with his other body parts.
"What do I think about what?""About th-"I FEEL ALIIIVE! roars Bukkar, seeming to levitate into the air a little,
ALIIIIIIIVE! I haven't had a good beating like that for HOURS! YEAH!There's a sudden even louder commotion, followed by the sound of running, and the sound of high pitched giggling: the four adventurers not directly involved in this collection of noises turn.
"Foxglove, GET THAT BLOODY THING AWAY FROM ME!""Heeheehee! I can't! I can't entirely control him yet!""IT BLOODY WELL BIT ME ON THE ARSE!""HE! It's a HE! Not an IT! And he was just being affectionate!""Affectionate?! I'VE GOT BLOOD POURING DOWN MY PANTS!""Well, what do you expect," asks Lady Foxglove, finally managing to rein in her squid,
"I'm fairly sure you just terribly insulted his mother, you know, in squid." She rubs the squid on the back of his neck.
"Poor Duke. Eh? Poor widdle Dukeywukey... You know," she says, turning to the brutish squid-hating Gervedder as the squid eyes him hungrily,
"I think you've made a lifelong enemy there."… … … … … ...
When the various cases of bleeding have subsided, and when Medha has finished filling various small bottles with various types of blood, the companions finally get back under way. They all feel, in some way that they can't quite lay a finger on, considerably more powerful than this morning. It feels good.
It's about one in the morning when they finally get to Bletchley – a large village with a wooden palisade around the perimeter and some buildings with enough fortified elements to suggest this is a settlement on the outer Marches, used to looking after itself.
There's a pair of guardsmen on duty as the six turn up at the western gate.
@la: You still have that mount mechanic there in the things-to-do pile, just saying. ))
Don't remind them! Anyway, I'm probably just going for a movement/carrying bonus for normal mounts and a free melee kick attack for wartrained mounts for now.
Let me know if I've forgotten anything. It's probable that I've just left it out after rolling for it (nobody did well for loot rolling, for example, and investigating the corpses did not turn up anything particularly enlightening, unfortunately.)
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. -1 to melee. +1 to gut damage.
Health: [HP: 60/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Leprified Face! |
Severed Right Arm! |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, severed arm, severed face, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 85/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Ability Pending,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Chemist Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 91 Yuros (real gold), Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 Solid Gold Feet (solid gold for 4 turns), 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! -1 to head damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance x2, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 85/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Barrel.