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[Errol]

Figured it'd be time to take a loredump of my own.

Spoiler: Medha's Correo's Transcript of her first lesson in Curse Crafting (click to show/hide)

"Curse Crafting is a dangerous business, girl. My first pupil drained all of his own blood by mistake. My second pupil got tarred, feathered and set on fire by an angry mob. My third pupil quit, became a paladin and is chasing me to this day. But the fourth pupil - that is you! And ye're gonna make it, ye're a smart one, I can feel it. I'll teach you the power to visit all sorts of pains upon your enemies, make someone's life a living hell with but a look and have those that oppose you beg to you on their knees and" (rest of the paragraph illegible, doodles all over it)

"Let us for now get to the core of a matter. There is two kinds of curses you will learn to visit upon your enemies. The first one is the hex. Hexes are simple incantations, momentarily debilitating curses, useful if you do not have enough time. Malicious tongues may say they're just simple spells, but oh no! Hexes are something far different, a way more magnificient (rest of the paragraph illegible, drool and doodles all over it)

"The other one is the curse proper. Unlike the hex, this is a delicate art that requires time and the proper reagents. Let me phrase it in a quick laundry list, handed down through generations and generations of Curse Crafters:
- First, yon shall need blood. Yon blood doth optimally need to be harvested from the very same species that yon doth will to curse. Furthermore, but one possession of yon curse target - a bit of hair, a shred of cloth, a tooth or a nail, all shall greatly intensify the effects of yon curse - but beware! It shall not work on other targets anymore. Most of the time.
- Second, yon shall need objects related to what yon will want to visit upon yon enemy. If yon wants to give a sap a head burn, yon needs fire and a skull. Yon can also toss in less, but yon curse will be less predictable.
- Third, yon shall need filler objects, for it is widely known that the more random crap yon tosses in a curse the more likely it is to work. Although objects with a dark and magicky aura, like spider's legs, liquid darkness or ground mystical herbs work the best, anything shall work in yon pinch.
- And last... yon shall need luck and swift feet." (Underlined)

"Now that this has been taken care of, let me tell you of the great history of Curse Crafting..." (rest of the text illegible, all sorts of arcane doodles over it)

[lawastooshort]

((As a related note, I am working on abilities and such like, and if anyone has anything particularly not quite right about their character or something that, given you've now had plenty of time to learn the complexities of the rules and setting, you'd really like to discuss adjusting, this would be perfectly acceptable at the moment. Not changing classes though...))

[Harry Baldman]

((Hey, I didn't miss a single turn! How absolutely wonderful.))

The messenger's pierced brain appears to act up for one moment, and he begins to shake mildly.

"Oy, lookin' good, Lady Fox! That woz some mighty high sensible squid-jackery, thereabouts!" he says, looking wild-eyed at the squealing queen of squid theft.

He then slaps himself in the face.

"Ah. All better now. Let us continue with our increased power and whatnot. And search corpses, because what else are we to do?"

Become "Damaged Opportunistic Messenger". Investigate recently-created corpses as well.

[Dwarmin]

((Hey, I didn't miss a single turn! How absolutely wonderful.))

The messenger's pierced brain appears to act up for one moment, and he begins to shake mildly.

"Oy, lookin' good, Lady Fox! That woz some mighty high sensible squid-jackery, thereabouts!" he says, looking wild-eyed at the squealing queen of squid theft.

He then slaps himself in the face.

Lady Foxglove whirred over above Gervedder on her squid, waving her new sword like a scepter.

She hadn't figured out how to stop yet, so she just flew lazy circles above him.

"Messenger! Why are you speaking like a musical chimney sweep? It's taking you forever to say nothing!"

[Harry Baldman]

"I do not know. I presume it must be brain damage. It happens in this line of work, I believe. Nevertheless, fine work on the squid. A flying mount, though quite inexplicable and strange, is still rather useful."

[Dwarmin]

"Indeed! A pity I had to lose Lord Magnificent, though.

Which begs a greater question-who were the Knights, and why did they attack us? I doubt they were working with the Kobolds...I suppose it could have been a tragic case of mistaken identity, but they shouldn't have tried to skewer me with their lances without an attempt at diplomacy.

I tend not to believe in pure coincidence, though..."

[Tiruin]

((I love this. All of this. xD I think I'm repeating this too much.

@la: You still have that mount mechanic there in the things-to-do pile, just saying. ))

[Harry Baldman]

"Indeed! A pity I had to lose Lord Magnificent, though.

Which begs a greater question-who were the Knights, and why did they attack us? I doubt they were working with the Kobolds...I suppose it could have been a tragic case of mistaken identity, but they shouldn't have tried to skewer me with their lances without an attempt at diplomacy.

I tend not to believe in pure coincidence, though..."

"Either they were highly unhinged and unusually well-equipped brigands or they had some reason to kill either us or anyone going on this road. I do have to wonder if the flying squid is a product of mere wizardry or if it actually lives freely someplace, though. That is the most suspicious thing about all of this, yes."

[Toaster]

Tackov piped up.  "Well, the Western Spotted Flying Squid is native to our home dimension, though quite rare.  It uses gusts of wind to propel itself, and coasts on warm updrafts.  While magic was indeed involved in its original creation, it became a stable species in its own right and now roams the western coastlines."

He squints at the squid in question.  "This isn't a Western Spotted, though- no spots."

[Dwarmin]

"I did get the sense earlier my good friend Lord Nirila was a bit too interested in our mission here, for mere pillow talk. But, would he resort to nighttime ambushes? He has an army and controls this land, after all-he could have had me thrown out the window after we were finished if he'd want to stop us. But, that's all mere conjecture. It's entirely possible he was just interested in finishing the conversation.

I don't suppose we'll really know unless, one of these men we killed was stupid enough to carry a scroll with written orders on his purpose."

Tackov piped up.  "Well, the Western Spotted Flying Squid is native to our home dimension, though quite rare.  It uses gusts of wind to propel itself, and coasts on warm updrafts.  While magic was indeed involved in its original creation, it became a stable species in its own right and now roams the western coastlines."

He squints at the squid in question.  "This isn't a Western Spotted, though- no spots."

"They also taste delicious fried in walnut oil, served with lemon hollondays sauce...no offense, Lord Squid!" She said, patting her mount, measuring his flapping wings with her hand for a potential cookpot later.

[Harry Baldman]

"Ah. Clearly I've been frequenting the wrong biomes, then. I wonder if this squid can potentially inform us of anything - I hear they can be quite intelligent, and since this one's magical and presumably intended to serve a rider as an all-purpose vehicle, it shouldn't be much of a stretch that it knows more than a mere riding animal has any right to."

Addendum to previous action: look at Lord Squid and ask it a question loudly.

"Excuse me, squid. If you can understand me, and I have reason to believe that you can, float down here. I wish to speak with you."

Gesture expressively at said riding animal to come here if words don't work.

[Errol]

"In any case! Gotta be mighty stupid to use glowing squid for nighttime ambushes." Medha remarks, wheezing a bit under the weight of her loot. "And even more stupid to pick a fight with me. The fact that I'm traveling with five just slightly less competent individuals is the cherry on the stupid cake. Still, wouldn't hurt to ask around if this Lord Niddly-Widdly has any... interesting connections. Or hobbies like cackling evilly on top of the highest tower of his castle while stroking a fat white cat, or his goatee, or if he is for whatever reason a Grand Vizier to his sovereign or..."

"Oh, crap. Almost forget to collect the blood. Can't do without blood in my line of work."

Addendum: Loot a sizeable cache of both human and kobold blood. Do not put them in the same bottle.

[lawastooshort]

Turn Fifty Eight

"Where are you all marching off to!" cries Lady Foxglove, Squid Queen Extraordinaire, as she stuffs another lance into the back pocket of her presumably black leather trousers, "Look at all the loot on the ground here! Er... there... down there... Blast."

She suddenly realises she can't reach the ground, busy as she is whirring round and round on her new flying warsquid, and takes a second look at the hand she just used to stuff the lance into her pocket. She's just about to think about it too much when she realises that a certain fine horse is missing.

"That dastard!" she cries, "Who would be so low as to steal another person's loyal steed! Without, you know, at least displaying some form of acrobatic but at least politely violent challenge... Gah."

She wheels around in the air in a notably angrier fashion than a few seconds ago, and feels as if the Lady Ravena herself has blessed her for her shameless hypocrisy, or for her spectacular squidjacking. It is hard to divine the reasoning of the Lady, but Foxglove most definitely feels more powerful that before she stole the squid. More... in turn with her calling, perhaps. More colour-matched with her mount?

"Oh double blast, trees ahead!!"

There's a wheezy whoosh as Lady Foxglove swerves entirely unnecessary.

She's kind of getting the hang of this...

…   …   …   …   …   ...

There's a sudden voice from below. Lady Foxglove is warmed by the thought that mostly everything will come from below her now.

"Oy, lookin' good, Lady Fox!" blurts Gervedder, saluting the new Squid-Riding Queen. "That woz some mighty high sensible squid-jackery, thereabouts!"

"What?"

"Before we go on mates, let's check up tha Kobby Camp for some premium dosh, I wollop. I call dibsies on the varder!"

”??”

”??!??”

”Oh, don't worry – he took an arrow to the brain, and some of us aren't quite... you know, as fortitudinous as the rest of us... Hey, you should check out these dead fellas... No, crap, I mean those dead fellas. These ones here are mine... I uh... they... curses, you see. Very dangerous in the wrong hands.”
As Gervedder prances off – musically, of all ways to prance – Medha leans back down to her work. She appears to be mutilating a pair of corpses, and she is drenched in blood from head to toe. She seems quite content.

"I did get the sense earlier my good friend Lord Nirila was a bit too interested in our mission here, for mere pillow talk. But, would he resort to nighttime ambushes? He has an army and controls this land, after all-he could have had me thrown out the window after we were finished if he'd want to stop us. But, that's all mere conjecture. It's entirely possible he was just interested in finishing the conversation.

I don't suppose we'll really know unless, one of these men we killed was stupid enough to carry a scroll with written orders on his purpose."

"Well, they were stupid enough to use glowing squid for nighttime ambushes." Medha remarks, wheezing a bit under the weight of her new loot. "And even more stupid to pick a fight with me. The fact that I'm traveling with five just slightly less competent individuals is the cherry on the stupid cake. Still, wouldn't hurt to ask around if this Lord Niddly-Widdly has any... interesting connections. Or hobbies like cackling evilly on top of the highest tower of his castle while stroking a fat white cat, or his goatee, or if he is for whatever reason a Grand Vizier to his sovereign or... What do you think, oh Wise Mage?"

"What? Do I really have something in my teeth?"

"Er. Yeah. It kind of looks like... well, a bit of human gut?"

"Oh. Figures. Eww. Don't know what came over me."

Tackov looks at his severed guts one last time.

"Poor guts."

He stuffs them in his pocket with his other body parts.

"What do I think about what?"

"About th-"

I FEEL ALIIIVE! roars Bukkar, seeming to levitate into the air a little, ALIIIIIIIVE! I haven't had a good beating like that for HOURS! YEAH!

There's a sudden even louder commotion, followed by the sound of running, and the sound of high pitched giggling: the four adventurers not directly involved in this collection of noises turn.

"Foxglove, GET THAT BLOODY THING AWAY FROM ME!"

"Heeheehee! I can't! I can't entirely control him yet!"

"IT BLOODY WELL BIT ME ON THE ARSE!"

"HE! It's a HE! Not an IT! And he was just being affectionate!"

"Affectionate?! I'VE GOT BLOOD POURING DOWN MY PANTS!"

"Well, what do you expect," asks Lady Foxglove, finally managing to rein in her squid, "I'm fairly sure you just terribly insulted his mother, you know, in squid."

She rubs the squid on the back of his neck.

"Poor Duke. Eh? Poor widdle Dukeywukey... You know," she says, turning to the brutish squid-hating Gervedder as the squid eyes him hungrily, "I think you've made a lifelong enemy there."

…   …   …   …   …   ...

When the various cases of bleeding have subsided, and when Medha has finished filling various small bottles with various types of blood, the companions finally get back under way. They all feel, in some way that they can't quite lay a finger on, considerably more powerful than this morning. It feels good.

It's about one in the morning when they finally get to Bletchley – a  large village with a wooden palisade around the perimeter and some buildings with enough fortified elements to suggest this is a settlement on the outer Marches, used to looking after itself.

There's a pair of guardsmen on duty as the six turn up at the western gate.

Spoiler: GM’s notes (click to show/hide)

@la: You still have that mount mechanic there in the things-to-do pile, just saying. ))

Don't remind them! Anyway, I'm probably just going for a movement/carrying bonus for normal mounts and a free melee kick attack for wartrained mounts for now.

Let me know if I've forgotten anything. It's probable that I've just left it out after rolling for it (nobody did well for loot rolling, for example, and investigating the corpses did not turn up anything particularly enlightening, unfortunately.)

Current Players:

Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)

Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. -1 to melee. +1 to gut damage.
Health: [HP: 60/60] | The Vomiting! | Leprified Face! | Severed Right Arm! | Severed Guts!
Abilities: Magical Typhoon I, Wind Blast I, Wind Blast II, Wind Step I, Squishy, Sissy Slap Fight
Inventory: Minor Mana Potion x1, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of: Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, severed arm, severed face, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey.

Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)

Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage.  -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 85/85] | Giant Rat’s Tail!
Abilities: Ability Pending, Shield I, Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II, Obviously a Powerful Wizard, It’ll Make You Blind!
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass,  Three daggers, Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2, Middling Health Potion x1, Carrying Serf.

Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)

Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Chemist Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85] | Severed Rib! | Severed Rib!
Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]
Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade, Opportunistic Attack I,  Curse Crafter, Curse of the Fool, Wandering Asshole, Curse of the Curse Crafter
Inventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages, Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit, Iron Cuirass, 91 Yuros (real gold), Crossbow, Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 Solid Gold Feet (solid gold for 4 turns), 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood.

Spoiler: Gervedder Vietzo, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85]
Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound, Nimble Feet, This Messenger Delivers, Make Way for the Messenger! Important, Stop For Directions
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 2 Yuros, Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll.

Spoiler: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III, Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! -1 to head damage.
Health: [HP: 85/85]
Abilities: Ravena’s Ear, Silent as a Raven’s Wing,  Opportunistic, Honeyed Tongue, Vain, Self-Reliance
Inventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Masterwork Helm, Flying Warsquid, Lance x2, Sword, Mercenary Squidrider Uniform.

Spoiler: Bukkar Crangrom, Xantalos (click to show/hide)

Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:
Health: [HP: 85/85] | The Vomiting!
Abilities: Rage Flight, Rage Lazors I, Ass of the Flaming Foot I, Lightning Fist I, Always Looking For a Fight, Always Hungover
Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings, Large Barrel.

[Errol]

"Hey, Foxy, or, Ge-eh, Messenger Guy. Can one of you let us in? I kinda gotta find a pawn shop soon. Like, really soon soon."

Pass time with crafting a Curse Grenade of the Fool. Unless Curse Grenades do not actually include Hex Grenades.

[Dwarmin]

Lady Foxglove buzzed Duke Squid toward the guards, making a point she could just fly over the wall, but was being terribly polite by speaking down to them

"Make way! Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III! has graced your tiny town with her presence.

I've got a letter of free passage here from Lord Nirila himself, and I know the exact color of his undergarments-hunter green! We're here for a short stopover and a hearty meal, then off to heroic adventures in the morning, while you stay here watching this rotted gate for the rest of your lives."

She began pointing her new sword to all her companions.

"Oh, and, make way for my servants as well-ahem! The skinny one is Gervedder the Letter Eater, the tall one is Whizzard the Whizmatic Whiznificent, the one without a face is Tacky the Odious Flatulamancer, the drunk one is Bukkar Vomitguts Von Ragingut, and the ugly woman is Medha Nohope the Boneless. We're adventurers, of course. Well, I'm an adventurer, they're following me-sort of like groupies, you know? It's sad."