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Author Topic: McGaha Branch, Turn 5: Amazingly Not Dead  (Read 4747 times)

GreatWyrmGold

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McGaha Branch--Turn 1
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2013, 05:46:14 pm »

Round 1:
500 Georgians vs. 500 Tarheels (I looked it up, that's what they're called. It certainly rolls off the tongue better than North Carolinians.)

Georgians:
Jimmy Therin, in a moment of cartoonish anarchonism, tries to be vewwy vewwy kwiet--he's huntin' snipers. [2] He fails to be vewwy kwiet at all. Then he finds one and [4-1v5] fails to notice a Tarheel bullet ripping into his skull.
John McBaroon charges into the Tarheel lines! [1] He trips and severs his other hand! Ouch!
George Buckingham joins his fellow swordGeorgian in his charge, [2] with little more success. Seems that not too many North Carolinians brought their antiques. Then he gets hit by [3,4] an axe and a pitchfork, with the latter ripping off his sword hand!
Richard Hearsaym aims and fires his crossbow at the North Carolinians...[3v6] But he misses!

Tarheels:
Adam Bradley charges at the swordGeorgians and [5v4,3] in a moment of impressive axemanship, hits both McBaroon and Buckingham, giving both nasty gouges and disabling the latter's hand. [4v5] He then has an arm chopped off of him!
Jack Robson draws his carbine and [5] fires a shot right into some musketeer's noggin. [6v3] He then dodges a crossbow bolt, tripping over a tangle of weeds!
Jonathan Bradley, the axeman's brother, shoots at some Georgians! [1v6] This...ends badly. He manages to fire the ramrod...to someone else's gun! And it hits him.
NPNC, a Non-Player North Carolinian, who has a pitchfork, charges the swordsGeorgians! [6v4] He manages to rip off the one's hand, but stumbles over to one side, falling over.

South Carolinians:
Suddenly, a bunch more people holler and charge into the battle! They are all named Joe!
Joe Schmuck, with a sword some Chinaman said was a katana, charges at the Tarheel forces! [5v4] He chops an arm off of one of them!
Joe Bridger punches the ground! This gets his fists dirty!

499 Georgians vs. 500 Tarheels vs. 100 South Carolinians
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Remuthra

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2013, 05:54:43 pm »

Punch someone's teeth in!

TCM

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2013, 06:17:40 pm »

Decapitate Tarheels!
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

Persus13

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #18 on: March 10, 2013, 06:50:11 pm »

Shoot TCM.
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+!!scientist!!+

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2013, 07:28:41 pm »

untangle self from weeds, reload, shoot crossbower.
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"what are all these shapes? Why are they moving around. What do they want from me?"

Yoink

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #20 on: March 10, 2013, 08:54:03 pm »

Name: Charley McGurk
Side: Georgia
Weapon: Piano wire

> Raid someone's wagon train for booze.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Xantalos

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #21 on: March 10, 2013, 09:20:09 pm »

Wield sword in teeth
Fulfil dreams of becoming a ballerina while decapitating people by performing leaping twirls
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
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Doomblade187

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #22 on: March 10, 2013, 09:35:55 pm »

((Do we just respawn if we die, or do we make a new char?))
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #23 on: March 10, 2013, 10:02:30 pm »

((Do we just respawn if we die, or do we make a new char?))
New character.

I'll make the next turn tomorrow. Continue acting until then.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2013, 01:40:24 am »

Name: Richard Johnson

Side: The Movement For The Liberation and Independence of the Orphan Strip

Weapon: dual-wielding the dangerous combination of a whole lotta alcohol in him and patriotic secessionist fervor.

Action: Rally the Orphan Strip Rebels! For freedom and all that!
« Last Edit: March 11, 2013, 12:39:44 pm by Harry Baldman »
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borno

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2013, 02:56:14 am »

Name: Joe Noodles
Side: South Carolina
Weapon: Uncooked noodles, as per family tradition.
Choke someone to death with my noodles.
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scapheap

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2013, 03:40:29 am »

More axe murdering.
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
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Persus13

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2013, 06:48:50 am »

New character: John Maynard Keynes

Side: NC!!!

Weapon: Rifle

Shoot TCM.
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TopHat

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Re: McGaha Branch, Turn 1
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2013, 12:36:34 pm »

Flip another coin to determine alliegence.
Do this at the start of every turn.
Shoot bad guys with crossbow!
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: McGaha Branch--Turn 2
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2013, 05:31:26 pm »

Round 2:
499 Georgians vs. 500 Tarheels vs. 100 South Carolinians

Georgia:
John McBaroon charges into the North Carolinian lines and attacks! [3v2] He cuts a slash (or slashes a cut) across a Tarheel temple!
Charley McGurk [1] abandons the battle and finds himself in the South Carolinian army!
George Buckingham holds his sword in his teeth. [3] More or less. [6-1v6] The target dodges backwards, as both topple over backwards. [6-1] George keeps a good grip on his sword. [3v6] His head is then split open by said Tarheel.

North Carolina:
Johnathan Bradley [2v2] gets punched and shoots the puncher! [1v1] He then shoots way off the mark, but the shot grazes the nut anyways.
Jack Robson tries to get untangled. [5] He does so, and has a hand free to reload the crossbow and quickly shoot [4-1v4] and miss. [6v2] He then has to jump backwards to avoid a guy with uncooked noodles, getting tangled up again.
Adam Bradley [6v6-1] dodges backwards, tripping away from the one-handed guy who's holding the sword in his mouth rather than his off-hand for some reason. He then springs back up and [6v3] splits the idiot's head. Despite all indicators, this has an effect.
Richard Hearsaym decides to go to another random side, but there's four now...flipping two coins indicates that he will be [H,T] a Tarheel this shot. Although you should have guessed this by now. [1v2] While the target doesn't notice, Richard does; the shot goes a mile past his target.
An NPG (non-player Georgian), an officer, takes note of the rebellious movement and decides to discipline his troops. [6] He kills several! [3] Two rebellious soldiers return!

South Carolina:
Joe Bridger punches! [2v2] He hits someone in the cheek! [1v1] He then steps into a shot, cutting a bloody groove along his side.
Joe Noodles looks about and [4v4-1] dodges a crossbow bolt which whizzes by his head. He decides to head to that guy and [2v6] cause him to trip and get tangled in weeds. That was, of course, his intention, and anyone who disagrees gets half-cooked noodles. [2v1] Nothing happens.
This one nut runs into the middle of the army and gets dispatched.

Movement for the Independence and Liberation of the Orphan Strip (MILOS)
Richard Johnson rallies his fellow Orphan Strippers, who come to think of it need to come up with a new name. [4] His squad increases from about a dozen to about 50, including some members of the other armies!

Nonplayer:
The battle begins to be joined as those other than the fast runners begin to come in violent contact. [4+1v6+1v5-1v3-1] The Tarheels do the best, slaying seven Georgians and two South Carolinians; the Georgians and SCers kill three Tarheels and one of the other group each; and the MILOSes don't do anything except have one guy run away.

478 Georgians vs. 484 Tarheels vs. 92 South Carolinians vs. 47 MILOSes
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