Round 1:
500 Georgians vs. 500 Tarheels (I looked it up, that's what they're called. It certainly rolls off the tongue better than North Carolinians.)
Georgians:
Jimmy Therin, in a moment of cartoonish anarchonism, tries to be vewwy vewwy kwiet--he's huntin' snipers. [2] He fails to be vewwy kwiet at all. Then he finds one and [4-1v5] fails to notice a Tarheel bullet ripping into his skull.
John McBaroon charges into the Tarheel lines! [1] He trips and severs his other hand! Ouch!
George Buckingham joins his fellow swordGeorgian in his charge, [2] with little more success. Seems that not too many North Carolinians brought their antiques. Then he gets hit by [3,4] an axe and a pitchfork, with the latter ripping off his sword hand!
Richard Hearsaym aims and fires his crossbow at the North Carolinians...[3v6] But he misses!
Tarheels:
Adam Bradley charges at the swordGeorgians and [5v4,3] in a moment of impressive axemanship, hits both McBaroon and Buckingham, giving both nasty gouges and disabling the latter's hand. [4v5] He then has an arm chopped off of him!
Jack Robson draws his carbine and [5] fires a shot right into some musketeer's noggin. [6v3] He then dodges a crossbow bolt, tripping over a tangle of weeds!
Jonathan Bradley, the axeman's brother, shoots at some Georgians! [1v6] This...ends badly. He manages to fire the ramrod...to someone else's gun! And it hits him.
NPNC, a Non-Player North Carolinian, who has a pitchfork, charges the swordsGeorgians! [6v4] He manages to rip off the one's hand, but stumbles over to one side, falling over.
South Carolinians:
Suddenly, a bunch more people holler and charge into the battle! They are all named Joe!
Joe Schmuck, with a sword some Chinaman said was a katana, charges at the Tarheel forces! [5v4] He chops an arm off of one of them!
Joe Bridger punches the ground! This gets his fists dirty!
499 Georgians vs. 500 Tarheels vs. 100 South Carolinians