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Author Topic: Additional CIA japes [DPRK Thread]  (Read 549601 times)

Fniff

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #240 on: March 11, 2013, 11:40:00 am »

Sergeant: "Oi!"
Private: "What?"
Sergeant: "This pigdog worstkorea prat is making funny faces at us!"
....Now I'm picturing the North Korean army as WH40K Orkz.

"Oi! Come on you stinkin' grots! We's da BEST Kree-uns! If'n da Big Boss gets onna boat, youse best be splashin' about an' chasin' him propa!"

North Korea: Where WMD means With More Dakka.

South Korean Propaganda Department (Because if North Korea has one, surely South Korea does too?), we'll let you guys have this one. Hell, I'll give a tip. Picture of orks on the left, space marines on the right. Bottom, text: "We're the ones on the right. The other one is North Korea. We'll let you do the math."
« Last Edit: March 11, 2013, 11:41:51 am by Fniff »
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olemars

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #241 on: March 11, 2013, 11:53:30 am »

A soldier can't shoot a bird as a joke, because every shell they fire has to be accounted for.
When my brother was in mandatory military service (used to be that all able-bodied men had to serve 6 months) there was this one crazy guy with him who shot and killed a rabbit while on guard duty. He served a month of prison and became a legend of his generation.

When I did my 1 year conscription they eliminated the whole possibility by not issuing live ammo to any guard soldiers.
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RedKing

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #242 on: March 11, 2013, 11:56:39 am »

A soldier can't shoot a bird as a joke, because every shell they fire has to be accounted for.
When my brother was in mandatory military service (used to be that all able-bodied men had to serve 6 months) there was this one crazy guy with him who shot and killed a rabbit while on guard duty. He served a month of prison and became a legend of his generation.

When I did my 1 year conscription they eliminated the whole possibility by not issuing live ammo to any guard soldiers.
That explains 1940.  :P (I kid, I kid! Not in the face!!)
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
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olemars

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #243 on: March 11, 2013, 12:15:48 pm »

A soldier can't shoot a bird as a joke, because every shell they fire has to be accounted for.
When my brother was in mandatory military service (used to be that all able-bodied men had to serve 6 months) there was this one crazy guy with him who shot and killed a rabbit while on guard duty. He served a month of prison and became a legend of his generation.

When I did my 1 year conscription they eliminated the whole possibility by not issuing live ammo to any guard soldiers.
That explains 1940.  :P (I kid, I kid! Not in the face!!)

Quick edit-fix you did there but I had time to spot your GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY
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RedKing

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #244 on: March 11, 2013, 12:44:29 pm »

A soldier can't shoot a bird as a joke, because every shell they fire has to be accounted for.
When my brother was in mandatory military service (used to be that all able-bodied men had to serve 6 months) there was this one crazy guy with him who shot and killed a rabbit while on guard duty. He served a month of prison and became a legend of his generation.

When I did my 1 year conscription they eliminated the whole possibility by not issuing live ammo to any guard soldiers.
That explains 1940.  :P (I kid, I kid! Not in the face!!)

Quick edit-fix you did there but I had time to spot your GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY
Actually, it's because I thought you were Polish for some reason.  :-[
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Owlbread

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #245 on: March 11, 2013, 01:47:08 pm »

Also, North Korea is very high on discipline. They've been known to sentence people to work camps/ death sentence for as little as making the wrong radio announcements where Americans/South Koreans could hear it. I consider an accidental misfire quite unlikely.

Not only that, if you escape they'll put your entire close family (about as far as cousins and uncles I think) into prison camps. There was a story I read about a guy who made a joke about Kim jong-il's height when drunk and was sent to a prison camp, and within the camps it's even worse - people being shot multiple times and killed by guards for trying to pick up two nuts from the ground to eat because of starvation. Then you get into the human experimentation stories (according to an escapee who claims to have been an officer in a camp and supervised gas chambers and poisoning men, women and children to death) and forced abortions and rape and torture and abuse etc. It's even more screwed up when you hear about the kids born in these camps and it's all they know. That officer I saw in a documentary was also pretty frank about what he did - he believed then, in his own words, that the prisoners weren't human/were subhuman. A bit like the attitudes of imperial japanese soldiers towards POWs.

If even 40% of that is true, we're going to see a lot of bad shit when the DPRK finally collapses and we gain access to the truth. If you want more information, read a book called "The Aquariums of Pyongyang" by Kang chol-hwan, or perhaps "Nothing to Envy" by Barbara Demick.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2013, 01:56:51 pm by Owlbread »
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DJ

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #246 on: March 11, 2013, 03:32:21 pm »

Anyways, if Best Korea is going to make a move, it'll be tomorrow because the other Koreans will be distracted by release of Heart of the Swarm.
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misko27

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #247 on: March 12, 2013, 06:09:28 pm »

North Korea ACTUALLY nullified the cease-fire today, as they've been threatening to do. Appearantly, so far, they've only actually ever threatened.
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Owlbread

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #248 on: March 12, 2013, 06:32:08 pm »

http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/north-korea-threatens-new-zealand-with-nuclear-strike-nothing-we-can-do-says-key/

I like Mr. Key's honesty. "Everybody would die."

EDIT: I must of course clarify that this is a satirical article to avoid further confusion.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2013, 06:50:18 pm by Owlbread »
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Fniff

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #249 on: March 12, 2013, 06:39:09 pm »

Quote from: Reporter
Could we not at least evacuate the targeted city?
Quote from: Key
Not in time, probably not. No.

I might call that brutal honesty.

Loud Whispers

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #250 on: March 12, 2013, 06:43:10 pm »

http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/north-korea-threatens-new-zealand-with-nuclear-strike-nothing-we-can-do-says-key/

I like Mr. Key's honesty. "Everybody would die."
Same with Australia's. To be fair, Kim Jong-Un wouldn't nuke New Zealand.

Huh, I just found something weird, apparently the notion of people attacking New Zealand inspires intense rage in me. RAGE THAT WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO KILL EVERYTHING WITH FIREI AROEAROAUER

No one nukes New Zealand D:<

Mephansteras

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #251 on: March 12, 2013, 06:43:38 pm »

Preeeeety sure that's satire.
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Pnx

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #252 on: March 12, 2013, 06:44:18 pm »

North Korea ACTUALLY nullified the cease-fire today, as they've been threatening to do. Appearantly, so far, they've only actually ever threatened.
This also coincides with the annual US-South Korean military drills that are right now kicking off. You can bet they probably did this on purpose. Still doesn't really change anything, this situation is still broadly the same.

http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/north-korea-threatens-new-zealand-with-nuclear-strike-nothing-we-can-do-says-key/

I like Mr. Key's honesty. "Everybody would die."

Quote
While the government appeared disinterested in doing anything about the nuclear strike, there were some promising indications of external aid from abroad. Tonga’s Prime Minister, Sialeʻataongo Tuʻivakanō, promised that he would “look out for any missiles”, and Prime Minister of Australia Julia Gillard phoned Bill English last night to assure him that, in the event of a nuclear attack, Australia would do everything it could to provide additional news coverage.
I love this last part.
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Max White

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #253 on: March 12, 2013, 06:46:11 pm »

http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/north-korea-threatens-new-zealand-with-nuclear-strike-nothing-we-can-do-says-key/

I like Mr. Key's honesty. "Everybody would die."
It sounds like a very annoyed man has had a long night dealing with political bullshit and is unwilling to play the smile and lie game. He knows the situation, we know the situation, might as well be honest about it.
Good man.

Pnx

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Re: North Korea Preparing For War
« Reply #254 on: March 12, 2013, 06:47:34 pm »

I've never actually heard of "The Civilian" before, but from the looks of things it seems to be a NZ version of The Onion.
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