Game III - Round 7: Screwed
Only two contestants remain. Coincidentally, these two fighters are nearly identical, the only difference being that one is a giant lumberjack with a chainsaw and the other is an English alien who traverses time to die and/or have sexual tension with a multitude of partners. Besides that, exactly the same. Paul Bunyan stands, clutching the back of his head. The attacks previously done on him had really worn him down. However, he wasn't going to go down that easily, all that stood between him and victory was a timelord. And if there's one thing that timelords were weak against, it was giant chainsaws. Paul starts the motor of his weapon and roars, charging at Doctor Who. (4+1 vs. 1+3-2) The Doctor seemed to phase out of reality as Paul swung his chainsaw, allowing him to dodge the attack. But as soon as he reappeared, Paul was able to surprise him with a kick out of nowhere! The giant boot struck the Doctor in the body, sending him flying back, and slamming onto the sand. (-6 HP) Paul grins somewhat darkly, "How's that one on for size, Doc'?" He then goes off to look for fire. (1) He does not find fire, only mire.
The Doctor stands up after recovering from his attack. Brushing himself off like a gentleman, he sees Paul Bunyan standing in the middle of a spontaneous swamp. "You're the only one left big man! Let's see how you like this!" The Doctor took a knee, pointed his rifle at the back of the giant's massive skull, and let loose with a flurry of fast bullets. (3+2 vs. 5-1) Paul laughs as each shot is deflected by his rough clothing. He walks up to the Doctor, and picks him up like a French fry, causing the timelord to drop his rifle. Hoisting him dozens of feet in the air, the titan laughs. "Hahaha! You could never defeat a man of this stature! Now tell me here, gotta' good plan brewin'?" Paul's face contorts into a wicked grin. The Doctor, in a determined voice reaches into his pocket. "I'm sorry." He pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver, points it at Paul Bunyan, and presses a button. Instantly, a burst of high-powered laser energy erupts from the tip, and in mili-seconds pierces the giant's forehead. Paul loses his grin, adopting a face of shock and terror. He drops the Doctor, who lands safely on his rump, whereas Paul himself slumps against the edge of the arena, eyes still open. The Doctor stands up again. "Now, where was I?"
"Looks like Doctor Who wins the 3rd Annual Arena Games! That's all for this time everyone, we can't wait to see what will come in store next year!"