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[penguinofhonor]

You are an office worker. A completely average, completely boring, upper middle class United States citizen. You live in the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio and work in at the downtown office of Mayfly Acquisitions, where you earn a comfortable amount of money for yourself and/or your family. You've been there for the better part of a decade and are a couple rungs higher on the corporate ladder. You're not a department manager or anything, of course, but you're still a little proud of yourself for getting where you are.

Right now the topic around the office is who wants to go to the Reds baseball game in a couple Tuesdays, but you don't expect it to happen because the boss isn't comfortable with that many people taking a half-day simultaneously. You also don't expect to meet your destiny today, but you will. As you punch the 11 key in the elevator, you get the feeling that it's going to be a long day.

To enter, you must submit a character. I will accept five players initially, via the time-tested method of "first come, first served". Necessary information for this application:

• Name (first, middle initial, and last)
• How would your co-workers describe you?
• Department: Finance, Human Resources, IT, Law
• Where do you see yourself in five years?
• What you brought for lunch today, or if you plan on going out to eat.

Spoiler: Departments (click to show/hide)

Your department determines your cubicle location, background, and skills. All common areas such as lunchrooms, meeting rooms, the receptionist, and bathrooms are located at the center of the floor.

Finance
You do accounting and other mathy stuff, performing tasks that are vital to the company and completely thankless. You realize you're surrounded with people who put much less time and effort into their education and your only advantage over them is a slightly higher pay grade.
Your department is located in the northwest quarter of the floor and hosts the office raffle twice a year. Nobody outside Accounting has ever won.
Ability - Accounting Degree: You get +1 to doing math.

Human Resources
You deal with the dark side of office life, which mostly amounts to telling people their petty conflicts aren't important enough for the company to spend resources dealing with. You occasionally tell someone Mayfly no longer needs their services, which is an exciting enough email to compose that it usually makes your whole week.
The HR department is located in the northeast quarter of the floor. It hosts the yearly office potluck, largely as a peace offering to the other departments.
Ability - Sadism: You get +1 accuracy while attacking targets with less than 33% HP.

IT
You deal with the people around the office who couldn't turn on a computer if their power button was labeled. You know this because you have personally labeled several power buttons. Your hatred for your fellow workers goes beyond normal office contempt and your opinion of them is based entirely on how frequently they email you.
IT is in the southeast quarter of the floor. The department doesn't hold any events because they're all (correctly) assumed to be poorly covered-up attempts at revenge on everyone else.
Ability - Troubleshoot: You get +1 to solving basic technological problems.

Law
You've graduated from law school, but you weren't quite good enough to get into court or end up a bit higher on the corporate ladder. You tell yourself you'll get up there eventually, though. Your days consist mostly of dealing with paperwork, whether it's trademark conflicts, managing patents, or submitting government applications. Any job that brings you face-to-face with an actual person outside this office brightens your day and then inevitably lets you down.
Your department is located in the southwest corner of the floor. Law hosts the bi-annual office political debate, which is always excised of anything resembling politics by HR.
Ability - Skimmer: You can read several pages per turn as a free action.

Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)

The game will be using a D6 with these guidelines:

• Crit Fail - A particularly bad failure. Guaranteed to have additional negative effects for you and/or those around you.
• Fail - A normal failure. It can sometimes result in negative consequences to you depending on the action and situation.
• Partial Failure - You sorta get what you want, but it's not impressive. Whether it's more faily or more successful depends on the action and situation.
• Success - An ordinary success. It doesn't allow you to achieve the impossible - in bad circumstances, even a 4 might not do what you want.
• Perfect Success - A success that ignores any bad circumstances and can allow you to achieve the impossible to an extent. Often has additional positive effects.
• Overshot - The action has some unintended consequences, usually negative but sometimes positive. The consequences could be personal and/or affect those around you.

The one exception is that you can only get an overshot on a natural 6. Any 6 gained from bonuses counts as a perfect success.

Each player submits one action per turn and they will be executed in random order. An action that requires no significant time or effort (picking up an object, moving a short distance) can be performed before or after your main action without taking up your roll. Talking to other player characters is a free action.

Spoiler: Combat (click to show/hide)

Each character starts with 10 HP, which determines how much damage they can take. At 0 HP they fall unconscious until healed, and at -5 HP they die.

Attacks first roll accuracy, then damage if they succeed the accuracy roll. A 1, 2, or 3 is a miss and a 4, 5, or 6 is a hit. Unarmed attacks deal 0-2 damage (1d3-1) and other weapons will have listed damages.

Grappling just requires an accuracy roll. If you succeed, you're now grappling them. A target may break out of being grappled if they beat the grappler's most recent combat roll. If you're successfully grappling an opponent, you may attack them without rolling for accuracy.

Weapon abilities:
Dangerous - If you miss with this weapon with a 1 or 2, you deal damage to yourself instead of the opponent.
Grapple - You must be successfully grappling an opponent to attack them with this weapon.
Multi Hit (X) - If you successfully hit with this weapon, it rolls for damage X times. This can be a random amount, such as Multi Hit (2d2).
Ranged (X) - This weapon can attack from a range of X meters, presumably without needing to be thrown.
Two Handed - This weapon takes two hands to wield and cannot be used while grappling/grappled.

Players

• Darvi: Ronald X. Brooke (IT)
• scapheap: Clair R. King (Finance)
• borno: Jake T. Hallenstein (HR)
• GreatWyrmGold: Aiden Brack Carlson (IT)
• Harry Baldman: Martin M. Marigold (Finance)

Waitlist
Note: Submit a character according to the normal guidelines, but don't get too attached to them. I might have special requirements for new characters at certain points. If that's the case then I'll warn the first person in the wait list and give them an opportunity to rework their character.

• AKingsQuest: Boogie W. Jones
• Coalwalker: Samson D. Eggman
• SomeStupidGuy: Julian L. Barrows
• Xanmyral: Arron M. Burns
• NRDL: Zombie Jeremiah S. Nix

No Longer with the Company

• AKingsQuest: Max D. Payne (HR)
• NRDL: Jeremiah S. Nix (Law)

Table of Contents
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[AKingsQuest]

- Max D. Payne

- A Cool and mysterious man with a substance abuse problem.

- Human Resources

- On Americas most wanted after killing everyone in the building. Still a hardworking employ of the company.

- A Bottle of scotch.

[Darvi]

Just joined one, might as well make that two.

• Ronald X. Brooke
• "Is that even a real middle name?" (yes it is)
• IT
• In this economy? Probably laid off.
• A couple bags of crisps

[scapheap]

• Clair R King
• That person from Finance who is always appear right next to you at the worst possible time
• Finance
• Running this place
• Sandwich, chocolate cake and a lot of cups of tea.

[Haspen]

PTWing, this will be grand.

[borno]

• Name: Jake T. Hallenstein
• How would your co-workers describe you? "The freshest fuckin' dude ever"
• Department: "Telling peeps that their shit ain't tight enough" (Human Resources)
• Where do you see yourself in five years? "Making sick beats in a recording studio"
• What you brought for lunch today, or if you plan on going out to eat. "I'm goin' to Macky-Dees."

[NRDL]

-Jeremiah Nix

-That nervous looking dude in the corner

-Law

-Much higher on the ladder, in general

-A ham sandwich

[penguinofhonor]

That's five people, so I'm going to sleep. Anyone who doesn't have their application filled out by the time I wake up will be replaced.

[lawastooshort]

Bother, too slow. I will watch instead.

[Facekillz058]

PTWing, this will be grand.

[SomeStupidGuy]

PTWing, this will be grand.

[miauw62]

PTWing, this will be grand.

[Greenstarfanatic]

PTWing, this will be grand.

[penguinofhonor]

Well it seems there's a lot of confidence in this. I'll try not to let the quote pyramid down. Time to kick this off...

Turn 0
^{<- OP | Turn 1 ->}

Roll to commute!
AKingsQuest - 7:29, Darvi - 7:19, scapheap - 7:20, borno - 7:28, NRDL - 7:14

It's a cold February morning in downtown Cincinnati. Hundreds of people walk along the sidewalks to their jobs, ignoring several dead-or-asleep hobos. Mayfly Acquisitions is on the east side of downtown, slightly out of the way of most of the restaurants. This makes going out to lunch slightly more difficult, but you can actually get parking within a few blocks of the building.

Jeremiah checks his watch as he walks into the lobby. Just over fifteen minutes early. The elevator door opens right as he gets to it, and he gets in and presses the button for the 11th floor. He realizes there's a good chance he's going to have to put the coffee on since nobody else will have already.

Five minutes later, Ronald walks up to the elevator and presses the button. While he's waiting, Clair from finance steps in and waits next to him. After a minute, the door opens and they both step in. "You're on 11 too, right?" Ronald asks.

Clair nods.

Ronald yawns. "Yeah, I think I've seen you around."

Ten minutes later, Jake walks briskly into the lobby. He looks back and recognizes his co-worker Max about half a block away, but he doesn't have time to wait. He presses the elevator button and taps his foot audibly as he waits. The elevator opens, Jake steps in, and Max jogs in after him, having just walked inside.

"Late too, eh?" Max asks.

Jake chuckles. "Not as much as you. Good thing I was here or someone might have taken the elevator."

"Oh, I wouldn't want that."

After getting out of the elevator, all the players make their way to their cubicles. Max and Jake are right across the hall from each other in the middle of HR, while Ronald and Jeremiah are both in the south-center part of the building where their departments meet. Clair is alone. Jeremiah is thankful that someone got there earlier than him and already put the coffee on. Everyone checks their email to find two unread messages. The first is as follows:

Spoiler: to Max D. Payne, HR (click to show/hide)

Subject: Stapler (IMPORTANT!)
From: Niel B. Simpson, Law

Hi, Max. I know the HR department is very busy this time of year, but I was hoping you could deal with this today. In the Law department we have this public stapler for everyone to use near the copier and it's been missing for several days. I don't want to make any accusations but I think Todd Jenkens might have taken it. He's done something like this before.

Spoiler: to Ronald X. Brooke, IT (click to show/hide)

Subject: "Dwarf Fortress.exe" Virus
From: Doris L. Johnson, HR

Someone appears to have installed a virus on company computers. I know company training said not to run unfamiliar programs but I did anyway and a bunch of code appeared on the screen. I closed it right away but I think someone was hacking us. I'd appreciate it if you stopped by this morning to check on the computers in Human Resources and assess the damage.

Spoiler: to Clair R. King, Finance (click to show/hide)

Subject: Fwd:FW:fwd:Fwd: Screen Cleaner!
From: Anita D. McWallace, Finance
I know you've been complaining about your screen lately so I found a free screen cleaner online for you.

Free Screen Cleaner

LOL!!!

Spoiler: to Jake T. Hallenstein, HR (click to show/hide)

Subject: Music
From: Randy V. Lindeman, HR
I know there are those around the office that appreciate your "sick beats", as you call them, but many of us in the neighboring cubicles would appreciate it if you would turn down your music during the day. I know you got headphones, but we can still hear it through them. My son doesn't even listen to his music as loud as you.

I don't want to make any threats, but people are already considering filing an official complaint.

Spoiler: to Jeremiah S. Nix, Law (click to show/hide)

Subject: Fw:GOOD RIDDANCE!
From: Kevin K. Kleinsman, Law
I hope they kick him out after what he's done to this country. Proven true by Snopes!
>On Monday March 11, 2013, Congress is reportedly beginning impeachment
>proceedings against Barack Obama.
>Members of Congress are reportedly beginning impeachment against Barack
>Obama based on the grounds of unauthorized military use in Libya and Syria.
>Congress is also looking at his involvement in Fast and Furious.
>According to Congressional representatives Barack Obama has violated the
>rules set that clearly state that the President must seek Congressional
>approval before using military force. Now he says it was OK because he had
>international support. But how does that make it okay? They aren't our
>Congress. They don't determine what is right or wrong for us.
>Sources close to aides in Congress say the law clearly states "any use of
>military force by Obama without explicit consent and authorization of Congress
>constitutes an impeachable high crime and misdemeanor under article II,
>Section 4 of the Constitution."

The second email is the same for everyone:

Spoiler: to ALL (click to show/hide)

Subject: Meeting this morning
From: Jon H. Kleinsman, Floor Administrator

I've scheduled a floor-wide meeting in Meeting Room A2 at 8:00 AM. Attendance is mandatory. It will cover some very important issues for this office, straight down from the higher-ups.

As good office workers, you all realize that it's impossible to get any work done in the half hour before or after a meeting, especially one this big. Most people are already milling about outside their cubicles or near the still-brewing coffee machine, catching up on what's happened since yesterday (hint: nothing much). Make your moves.

Status
Time: 7:40 AM Tuesday Febuary 5 2013

Spoiler: AKingsQuest (click to show/hide)

Name: Max D. Payne
10/10 HP
Department: HR
Inventory: Scotch
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Ronald X. Brooke
10/10 HP
Department: IT
Inventory: 2 bags of potato chips (not crisps, you Brit)
Abilities: Troubleshoot

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair R. King
10/10 HP
Department: Finance
Inventory: Turkey sandwich, slice of chocolate cake, teacup, 4 teabags
Abilities: Accounting Degree

Spoiler: borno (click to show/hide)

Name: Jake T. Hallenstein
10/10 HP
Department: HR
Inventory: Empty
Abilities: Sadism

Spoiler: NRDL (click to show/hide)

Name: Jeremiah S. Nix (I gave you a middle initial. A true bureaucrat would have rejected your application instead.)
10/10 HP
Department: Law
Inventory: Ham sandwich
Abilities: Skimmer

I'm using the Acronym tag for statuses, so you have to hover over things to see their effects. If this is a problem for anyone, tell me now.

[Darvi]

Sigh. Look for computer security pamphlets, which are widely regarded as a nicer, yet more passive-aggressive way for IT staff to tell people that they're idiots and they're to blame for the crap that gets on their computer. If there is one, grab it. Walk towards Human Ressources.