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[GreatWyrmGold]

Wait, he ripped out his own skull to beat the troll to death with?

No, he ripped out the troll's skull, ripped out his own skull, then smashed the troll's skull with his skull, then put his skull back inside himself and put the mashed troll skull back into the troll's body.

It would be kinda funny if he confused the skulls.

There would be no noticeable difference.

Aren't troll skulls bigger than human skulls?

[dragnar]

non-update post:

Aren't troll skulls bigger than human skulls?

In this case? Debatable! Though I just meant he managed to headbutt a troll to death...

Anyway, to clear things up a bit: You did sell the gauntlet. But apparently it's value, as an artifact, involved division by zero. ie: You crashed, until his beating rebooted you. Impossible to say what trying to buy things with NaN(Not a Number) MageBucks will do.

[Jbg97]

Impossible to say what trying to buy things with NaN(Not a Number) MageBucks will do.

Impossible? Then start buying stuff! Get a dungeon, a tower, and a volcano base that are all reasonably close to each other. Time to get to pimpin.

[Remuthra]

Impossible to say what trying to buy things with NaN(Not a Number) MageBucks will do.

Impossible? Then start buying stuff! Get a dungeon, a tower, and a volcano base that are all reasonably close to each other. Time to get to pimpin.

We also want plenty of guardians.

[Aerie]

Impossible to say what trying to buy things with NaN(Not a Number) MageBucks will do.

BUY ALL THE THINGS

Also implement some safeguards against division by zero.

[dragnar]

Well, looks like there's some good news, and some bad news. Good news? Buying things doesn't seem to change your balance at all. Bad news is, you're only allowed one lair as a starting dark lord. Hmm, which one to go for first...

Well, while you try and decide, might as well take a look through the idiot's inventory. Let's see... Looks like he's picked up another magic sword, a surprisingly large pile of precious gems, and some random magical nick-knacks that aren't frankly any more than children's toys. Not a bad haul exactly, but not nearly as good as the one he found you in.

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Owner: Kickass McManly
Equipped: FISTS OF STEEL, pants
Abilities: Head-crushing
Gold: 100
MageBucks: NaN

Inventory:
Sword of goblin-slaying
500 gold worth of gems
Magic Map(Always shows a map of the area you're in)
Magical junk

Home upgrades:
Empty trophy case above the mantle

DARK LORD stats:
Level 1
Max lairs: 1
Max minions: 20
Income per hero: 300 gold
Heroes to next level: 5

[scapheap]

Underground dungeon, crypt-favored.

[Remuthra]

Buy underground lair.
Make room for future mountainhall.

[Aerie]

Initiate self-repair protocol. How will anyone take us seriously if we look like some dumbass bashed us against a rock?

I mean, that is what happened, but still!

[Vgray]

And suddenly we go from being a sentient magic possibly unlucky nick-nack to being a dungeon keeper.

Ah, Bay12.

[Jbg97]

And suddenly we go from being a sentient magic possibly unlucky nick-nack to being a dungeon keeper.

Ah, Bay12.

No, we start as an amulet; then we're picked up by a guy who can kill anything that bleeds, half the things that don't bleed, and one-third the things that no one knows what the fuck; then we divide by zero within 2 turns of starting the game and get bashhed against a rock; then we became a dark lord complete with minions. Still turn number 3.

[CyberUrist]

Impossible to say what trying to buy things with NaN(Not a Number) MageBucks will do.

BUY LAIR IN UNDERGROUND

Also implement some safeguards against division by zero.

+1

[Mlamlah]

I can't help but picture this guy in regards to our meatheaded companion: http://www.kongregate.com/games/molkman/lucky-tower?acomplete=lucky+tower

[dragnar]

No, we start as an amulet; then we're picked up by a guy who can kill anything that bleeds, half the things that don't bleed, and one-third the things that no one knows what the fuck; then we divide by zero within 2 turns of starting the game and get bashed against a rock; then we became a dark lord complete with minions. Still turn number 3.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?

Awesome, purchasing things not only works, it doesn't even reduce the amount of money in your account! Hopefully no one in charge takes too close a look at the balance. Either way, you instantly purchase and stock your dungeon, leaving only the selection of what kind of monsters to fill it with. Oh look, the talking hat is back. "Hi! I see you've purchased an underground dungeon! Would you ļ̴i̶k̴e̸̢ to run t҉h҉̨è minion-wizard, or select y̴҉͡o͝͞͏uŗ own from the lį̵́s̶̛t̵͟?"

Meanwhile, Kickass is roasting part of the troll for lunch. Apparently he thinks he can gain it's regeneration abilities by eating it. "Hey, magic thing! I think I should buy a bard. Ya know, to sing songs about me everywhere we go." Oh god, does the stupidity never end?

Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)

Owner: Kickass McManly
Equipped: FISTS OF STEEL, pants
Abilities: Head-crushing
Gold: 100
MageBucks: NaN

Inventory:
Sword of goblin-slaying
500 gold worth of gems
Magic Map(Always shows a map of the area you're in)
Magical junk

Home upgrades:
Empty trophy case above the mantle

DARK LORD stats:
Level 1
Lairs: 1/1
Minions: 20/20
Income per hero: 300 gold
Heroes to next level: 5

[Remuthra]

Stock our lair with abberations, fiends, and necromancers. The necromancers will sort out the lack of undead on this list.