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[Chimpanzee]

"I am a Legandary Weaver! Nobody handles cloth like me"
"Yeah, that's great. Hey, are you done? If so, we need to smelt this ten thousand large load of hematite. I'll see you next month."
"WHAT AN OUTRAGE! I AM A LIVING LEGEND! I SHOULD BE WEAVING"
"That's nice. Tell you what, pretend you are weaving metal out of this ore. Now get to work."

Sigged, if you are fine with that.

[CognitiveDissonance]

"I am a Legandary Weaver! Nobody handles cloth like me"
"Yeah, that's great. Hey, are you done? If so, we need to smelt this ten thousand large load of hematite. I'll see you next month."
"WHAT AN OUTRAGE! I AM A LIVING LEGEND! I SHOULD BE WEAVING"
"That's nice. Tell you what, pretend you are weaving metal out of this ore. Now get to work."

Sigged, if you are fine with that.

Of course, and I'll feel all honoured too

EDIT: Looking at it, I'm inspired to create this:

Overseer Uristbergh: Hello, Weaver. What's happening? Uh…we have sort of a problem here. Yeah. You apparently are not smelting hematite.
Weaver McGibbons: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. I, I forgot.
Overseer Uristbergh: Mmmm...yeah. You see, not doing any clothmaking around here. We are smelting hematite. Did you see the memo about this?
Weaver McGibbons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have the memo right here. I just uh...forgot. But, uh, we already have a lot of iron, so there's no problem.
Overseer Uristbergh: Yeah. If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that will be great. And uh, I'll go ahead and make sure you get another copy of that memo. Mmmkay? Bye bye, Weaver.
Weaver McGibbons: No, I...I have the memo. I've got it. It's right...
[Uristbergh isn't listening and walks away from Weaver's smelter]
 

*later*

[Weaver tries to shut the smelter down to leave early to avoid Uristbergh but he's too late]
Overseer Uristbergh: Hello Weaver. What's happening? Um, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around forever, that would be great. Mmmkay?
 [he starts to walk away]
Overseer Uristbergh: Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Uh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in when you are on break too. Okay? We, uh, lost some dwarves to an !!unfortunate accident!! and uh, we need to sorta catch up. Thanks.
 

COMING SOON! DWARF SPACE!

[AnimaRytak]

Any word on a danger room?

[Chimpanzee]

Slate 1, 225
Well it seems there are quite a few unclaimed vessels, so here it comes:
Dorfing time!
Here they are:

Spoiler: Krosan IV (click to show/hide)

Don't worry about your profession name, you're currently in the marksdwarf squad.

Spoiler: Prosnorkulus III (click to show/hide)

The fattest vessel I could find.

Spoiler: Thaddeus III, The Fail Saint (click to show/hide)

All hammervessels I could find were way too unskilled to fend voidspawn ambushes, so I claimed one of the active axedwarves.

Spoiler: Aoshi II, Rocker (click to show/hide)

Yes, that's right, you have a fat baby vessel on your dorf.

Spoiler: Oryx, The Mad God (click to show/hide)

He may not be skilled enough to be able to fend voidspawn invasions, but all other swordsvessels I could find are female. I've put him in the mixed melee squad.

Spoiler: Voicesinthefan II, Rescue Toaster (click to show/hide)

Anything you say? Here you go. You've claimed for yourself Aoshi II's obese baby vessel.

Slate 3, 225

YES!!! MORE FAT VESSELS, HERE I COME!!!

Spoiler: Maxwell Edison II (click to show/hide)

No doctor skills, but at least your dwarf should be able to craft those wooden splints pretty fast.
The four existing squads were full, so I've created a fifth squad for hammerdwarves and put him there.

Spoiler: Thorkild Jarnox (click to show/hide)

Your vessel has five cave crocodile kills, do you know it? Remember this till the day you die.

Slate 8, 225

We have MAGNETITE! Who needs hematite? Only those who really like to grind in worthless stone in order to find iron ore.
Ah, just as I was screening it I noticed that we have a giant bat invader in our fortress! Time to bring the military.
(Un)Forunately, two seconds of unpausing were enough to see a giant bat carcass lying in the stairwell and no dwarf was injured.

Slate 9, 225
Seems we have no SIEGE WORKSHOP! I've ordered the construction of two of those so I can place some ballistae behind the entrance.

Slate 16, 225
WTF has happened to Vendix ?!?!?!

No, don't tell me she was starving for two months on this little granite slope! I hope the peasants will construct that floor before she dies.

Felsite 6, 225
Guess I'll end my second session here.
From Slate 1 till now, the rock walls are almost finished.
The Mayor's quarters are done.
I've changed the squads' schedules and they should be much more active.
Added a hammerdorf squad.
I've placed cabinets in cluttered bedrooms.
Expanded existing finished goods and booze stockpiles, added furniture stockpile.
Vendix is now "Missing" in the unit list. I assume she starved to death.
I've started the first step towards ballistae: siege workshops. The workshops are done, now to the next step: Ballista parts.
Migrants have arrived. Almost everyone has been dorfed. I've made sure to vandalise update the dorflist accordingly.
We have a dogsplosion.

Any word on a danger room?

Screw danger rooms.

[kefkakrazy]

I'm sure someone will eventually manufacture a danger room. Until then, we'll continue to enjoy massive casualties.

I submit that we should totally wait until we have like a hundred untrained stray dogs set up, plus a breeding stock, and dump the dogs in with captured voidspawn that we plan to send against the clowns. Gotta stock those bugs up with thralls, make sure we have a nice army of the freaks before we open the circus...

[Yuli Vlasi]

Sounds like a plan.

[StLeibowitz]

But what do we do with our thrall army after the clowns are dead? If they convert the demons, we'd end up with another, worse problem than before - and I have absolutely no faith in the possibility of a scenario where the voidspawn fight the demons mano-a-mano and lose after inflicting enough casualties for our untrained immigrant militia to finish them off (i.e. the ideal scenario)

[peregarrett]

But what do we do with our thrall army after the clowns are dead? If they convert the demons, we'd end up with another, worse problem than before - and I have absolutely no faith in the possibility of a scenario where the voidspawn fight the demons mano-a-mano and lose after inflicting enough casualties for our untrained immigrant militia to finish them off (i.e. the ideal scenario)

Remember the name - Murdermachines! It speaks for itself.

Or, we can scream and run. That's always a choice.

[gunpowdertea]

But what do we do with our thrall army after the clowns are dead? If they convert the demons, we'd end up with another, worse problem than before [ ... ]

Bah! It's like bringing bull frogs to a place to kill the bunnies, no worries, like, at all!

Edit: Oh, and thanks for the Dorfing! I'll enjoy leading my squadmates to doomvictory!

[Blade Master Model 42]

Simple. If the Voidspawn win, they're vulnerable to magma, right?

[Orange Wizard]

Simple. If the Voidspawn win, they're vulnerable to magma, right?

Somehow, I don't think that will work the way you intend.

Y'know, just a hunch...

[Blade Master Model 42]

Simple. If the Voidspawn win, they're vulnerable to magma, right?

Somehow, I don't think that will work the way you intend.

Y'know, just a hunch...

No, it's simple. We set up a magma cistern connected to the Arena, then, in the event the Voidspawn win, we dump magma all over them. They should melt.

[StLeibowitz]

Simple. If the Voidspawn win, they're vulnerable to magma, right?

Somehow, I don't think that will work the way you intend.

Y'know, just a hunch...

No, it's simple. We set up a magma cistern connected to the Arena, then, in the event the Voidspawn win, we dump magma all over them. They should melt.

Operative word being "should". This whole thing has "grey goo disaster" written all over it.

[Orange Wizard]

I think we should make a different plan. Like incinerating them... oh.

[Blade Master Model 42]

Simple. If the Voidspawn win, they're vulnerable to magma, right?

Somehow, I don't think that will work the way you intend.

Y'know, just a hunch...

No, it's simple. We set up a magma cistern connected to the Arena, then, in the event the Voidspawn win, we dump magma all over them. They should melt.

Operative word being "should". This whole thing has "grey goo disaster" written all over it.

I don't know what this grey goo disaster you speak of is. In any case, magma tends to be a pretty solid failsafe, except with demons. I don't hear any better ideas either...

I think we should make a different plan. Like incinerating them... oh.

With MAGMA! This guy has the right idea!