I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.
But I will rebuild it!
Damn it, Chrome, why did you crash, taking 2/3 of the turn with it and making me redo the turn on Firefox?
Early turn, record safe!
Almost-forgotten turn, record in jeopardy!
get a negative 100 bonus.
get a negative 100 bonus.
Aid action. This must happen.
[5-5+1] You get something even worse than a -100 malus...a -
101 malus! Which, if I am not mistaken, makes you, quantitatively, the single most pathetic character in any RtD EVER! Congrats?
I still have no idea what's going on but this is fun!
Glad to hear it!
Chuck as many explosives as I can in a turn at whoever has the giant hat the voices told me to kill. Also laugh like a madman while doing it.
[5] You hurl explosives at that guy. [1+100] He is unfazed by it, except that that hole in his belly gets slightly larger.
Earn a +130 bonus, using my current bonus.
[4+4]
OH NO YOU DON'T. You momentarily have a +134 bonus, but the high result on your roll activated the Overshot Detector, which caused Head Death to feed you to Cthulhu.
Respawn outside of the amalgamation because this is getting unfun.
[6] You respawn about a hundred thousand miles above the amalgamation. Gravity's pretty weak out here; you've got quite a while to fall.
Observe the effects of dying in the realm of the dead.
Hm. You don't seem to be dead. Shoot.
((Which friendship?))
You, my friend, just tripped my That Was Freaking Obvious device. -1 malus for 1 turn get!
Training montage.
[1+2-1] It's a tedious one, and since it's just a montage you don't learn anything.
GUYS CRAWL INSIDE ME YOU CAN TEAR HIM UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
Create Golem from nearby discarded metal using magical powers (oooooohhhh!!!)
[3] You create an Aluminum Foil and Penny Golem.
*knock knock knock*
Kill Self.
Respawn outside of the boss as head of new 'Hats' faction.
Summon Hatlings.
Try again!
I'm not going to give up, you know.
I told you random.org cheats!
Maybe so.
[6v6+100] You can't escape. Maybe you should try to exploit Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo's weakness...[3+2] You summon 50 more Ultra Hatlings.
BOSS TURN:
The drunk girl looks for alcohol. [1] She finds an AA meeting and cries for help!
Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Frog tries to avoid work. [1] He gets promoted to Death of Universes Ending.
Benjamin Franklin gathers some superheroes--[4] Spinnerette, Ultra, and Tiger. (It's just Tiger.)
Kitty Pride and Buttercup spontaneously decide to go into a Pokebattle. [5v3] Ms. Pride wins, hands-down.
The Mythbusters realize they lost a dangerous amount of one of their stockpiles of infinite explosives and therefore [5] find another. Now they have 2-4/5 stockpiles of every explosive device that ever has, could, or will exist in any universe.
The Pope tries to get a Popemobile! [6] It appears, as if by divine will, and crushes the Pope. God must not be Catholic.
Ursula shoots Doomblade, for good measure. [3+3v4] She hits, stripping him of the remainder of his bonus.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Features:
Explosives Stockpiles (2.8 of all explosive devices that ever have, could, or will exist in any universe)
Site-X
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Furtaka shoved in orifice
Pufferfish is an internal dungeon.
Minions:
Corai
Pufferfish
Aluminum Foil and Penny Golem
Ultra Hatlings (100)
Leader: World Golem (+8, +1 from Faction)
scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2); Pokemon: Pikachu
100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Black Tiger
Blossom (+1); Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles (+1); Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup (+1); Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Captain America (+2)
Cardcaptor Torika (+1); Pokemon: Porygon
Random Drunk Girl
Kitty Pride (+1); Pokemon: Ghastly
Pam Akumachi (+1); Pokemon: Caterpie
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars (+1); Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter (+1); Pokemon: Magnetite
SCP-239 (+3)
Spinnerette
Superman (+2)
Ultra
LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)
Persus13, Immortal? (-106), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander
Death of Universes Suddenly Ending
Empiricist, Severed Head
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Xantalos, Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown
Adam Savage
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Alexander Hamilton
Allosausus
Atlas (+2)
Benjamin Franklin (+1)
Cthulhu (+3)
134 D-Class Personnel
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Former Zeus (NSCP-027) (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Martians (3)
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Kerry
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
President Washington
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Terry
Thomas Jefferson
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
NSCP-027: The Former God. "Mortal"!Zeus
[/quote]