I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
This is actually on time!
Well, dang it.
My record is finally gone.
But I will rebuild it!
Damn it, Chrome, why did you crash, taking 2/3 of the turn with it and making me redo the turn on Firefox?
Early turn, record safe!
Invent a way to make duct tape explosives.
Show to Mythbusters.
Teamup.
[3] You make a duct tape bomb. It is flammable. The Mythbusters aren't impressed.
Exit amalgamation. Start assassinating the magical girls in his name since they're the leaders of his enemies
[4v5+100] Turns out, you
can foil Step 1.
Also, the Everyone Else is neutral to Furtakarcichlorfandrandomprisonertoo...
Guess what I want do do? Get a larger negative bonus.
Genius!
[2-4] Your negative bonus goes lower. It is now literally impossible for you to get a normal failure!
Uh, I'm still part of the arena right? Also Agent clef really needs to start having actions.
Dr. Clef.
Use lye to melt off parts (Not the whole boss I'm attacking here) of the furturkaandothervarioousbeasts because it's the final boss and stuff, yo.
Create hatch into dungeon.
[4v3+100] "Ooh, lye, my favorite!" Slurp.
[5] You become the hatch to a dungeon inside Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo.
Group find out way of weakening Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo.
[2+8+2+1+1] You come up with a brilliant idea.
It's vulnerable to...FRIENDSHIP! Not due to magic. Friendship is, of course, not magic.
Attempt to die and observe the effects of dying in the realm of the dead.
[5] You cut off your own head and begin to experience the wonders of being a disembodied head.
Attack whichever person has the giant hat! Preferably with something that might my lying around.
[5] You locate a stockpile of an infinite amount of explosives! [3+5] You make a HUGE explosion! There's a huge hole of sorts where everything was but nothing currently is, and Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo has a hole blown in his abdomen!
Kill Self.
Respawn outside of the boss as head of new 'Hats' faction.
Summon Hatlings.
Try again!
I'm not going to give up, you know.
I suppose not. It won't help you any, though...
[2] Still alive. [5+2] You summon 50 Ultra Hatlings.
Earn more power (Read-bonus) by forming myself into a humanoid form.
[6] You become human! Turns out, humans aren't that great.
BOSS TURN:
No one angered Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertooo.
Zoe Jackson kicks Xantalos. [1v5] This somehow ends in her being legally adopted by him.
Captain America summons the Founding Fathers!
Zombies arrive.
The World Golem [5+8v6+100] gets punted by Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo.
Pistachio mourns some more. [3] She is reunited with her mother! It is a
sweet reunion.
The Foundation [3] begins scraping together more personnel and such for a Site-X.
William Shakespeare [5] writes a new masterpiece!
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
Infinite Featureless Plane of Death
Features:
Site-X
Furtakarcichlordandrandomprisonertoo (+100)
Unharmed
Hats for Blood
Furtaka shoved in orifice
Pufferfish is an internal dungeon.
Minions:
Corai
Pufferfish
Ultra Hatlings (50)
Leader: World Golem (+8, +1 from Faction)
scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2); Pokemon: Pikachu
100 Animal Mascots (+1)
Blossom (+1); Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles (+1); Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup (+1); Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Captain America (+2)
Cardcaptor Torika (+1); Pokemon: Porygon
Random Drunk Girl
Kitty Pride (+1); Pokemon: Ghastly
Pam Akumachi (+1); Pokemon: Caterpie
Pistachio (+1), GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars (+1); Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter (+1); Pokemon: Magnetite
SCP-239 (+3)
Superman (+2)
LEADER: HEAD DEATH (+??)
Persus13, Immortal? (-5), Missing Fingers, Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Salamander
Death of Getting Glared At Angrily By a Giant Frog
Doomblade (+4)
Empiricist, Severed Head
LordSlowpoke (Confused!)
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Drunken Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Xantalos, Complete Monster Downplayed Evil Genius Dignityless Maxwell Smart Former Smug Snake Former Clown
Adam Savage
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
Alexander Hamilton
Allosausus
Atlas (+2)
Benjamin Franklin (+1)
Cthulhu (+3)
134 D-Class Personnel
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Former Zeus (NSCP-027) (+2)
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
5,000 Hatlings
Jamie Heineman
Jane Freaking Goodall
1,868,668 assorted Magical Girl fans
Martians (3)
NPC!da_nang (+1)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
NPC!Xantalos (+2)
12 Research Assistants
Pope
President Bush (the second)
President Kerry
President Lincoln
President Jackson (+1)
President Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
President Washington
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Terry
Thomas Jefferson
Ursula (+3)
William Shakespeare
Zeus (+3)
Zoe Jackson
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
NSCP-027: The Former God. "Mortal"!Zeus