I MUST update tonight! MUST! NOT! RUIN! PERFECT! RECORD!
Even if it ruins my REM sleep!
Respawn as a clown.
Dance through everyone's courts, entertaining them happily.
[6] You are a truly ludicrous clown. Ability gained: No Dignity.
Upgrade my laser pointer to a laser rifle and acquire power armor, and summon the Enclave to join me If possible. Turn to Doomblade and say
"I will aid you in your battles against the Dark Lords if you aid me in defending the Liches."
[5] You now have a laser rifle.
Lead the heroes into battle against the minions of the Dark Lords! Also, aid corai in defending the liches.
"I'll help defend them."
[5] Success! You genocide the orcs!
give sauron the sword.
[2-2] You grab the sword by the blade, assuming it wouldn't be sharp. It is, and because you're cutting someone (you), the sword cuts back more. Result: Severed fingers.
Think of something to do that does not get me anywhere remotely near the crazy people and SCP units.
[3] You wander away. Before long, you're heading back towards the tower. Dang anomalies.
Kill self. Respawn next to HatArmy. Summon HatRienforcements. Have Hatlings attack SCP foundation.
Do
[6] AHAHAHAHAHA! It's a foolproof plan that's only failed a few times in the past! Oh, look, the Hatlings have set up a democratic pastoral society focusing on bowler husbandry as their prime economic activity. They treat you as a terrorist and lock you up.
The dice are rigged, I keep getting below a 4. Ever since my pants on head idea. true facts.
Respawn as Arena. Gain awareness.
Blame random.org, not me.
[3] You respawn as a genus loci for a hut in the arena.
Summon 100 animal mascots to the magic girls faction to raise our faction bonus.
[5] Your bonuses get automatically boosted a bit!
EQUIP TURTLE BROUGHT BACK FROM THE UNIVERSE OF A MINIMALIST RTD FINISHED IN AGES PAST
WIN NOBEL PRIZE
[4] You get a turtle. [1] Nobel personally visits the battlefield by a new interim portal, accompanied by Theodore Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson, the two most badass presidents in history. [4+2+1v1] They punch your head off!
W8. Go find moe moe chili anime desu ladies and party with them.
[4] The party starts!
BOSS TURN:
The Dark Lords, the Liches, the Silver Golem, and the Foundation send their best members in single combat with each other and Corai: Darth Vader, the Lich, Able, Corai, and the silver golem begin a five-way. [2+2v6+3v2+3v4] While the others put up a good fight, the lich kills the competition with its mighty blade.
The Foundation gathers up various anomalous items.
Reality fractures a bit more. [4] A portal to Historical Earth opens up, disgorging a few presidents.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
If you want to make sure your bonus is accounted for, speak up.
PERMANENT HONOR FIELD!
Lich's Collapsed Rebuilt Tower (lich is genus loci; NSCP-001, Site-N01)
Ripped Spacetime
Former Shoehorn Empire
Cheerful Cottage (Site-N02)
Living Hut (Pufferfish is genus loci; NSCP-023)
NSCP-001: The Living Tower. The lich's tower inhabited by the lich's spirit. Also Site-N01
NSCP-002: The Portal Gun. Xantalos the ASHPD. Decommissioned.
NSCP-003: The Pocket Monsters. Pokeballs and -mon. Uncontained.
NSCP-004: The Magical Girls. Magical Girls. Cooperative.
NSCP-005: The Feline Warrior. Knight Tiger.
NSCP-006: The Mad Hatter. TopHat. Uncontained.
NSCP-007: The Secret Agent. Employed.
NSCP-008: The Luckless Immortal. Persus13.
NSCP-009: The Dead Walking. Liches. Uncontained.
NSCP-010: The Toroidal Portal. Two big chinks of space that wrap around to each other.
NSCP-011: The Familiar Statue. SCP-███, or a [REDACTED] Angel.
NSCP-012: The Two-Edged Scimitar. A sword which cuts back.
NSCP-013: The Deadly Wands. Death Eaters'. Uncontained.
NSCP-014: The Changing Machine. SCP-███
NSCP-015: The Eye Spiders. Spiders which control people from their eyes.
NSCP-016: The Tough Creature. A nigh-indestructible and adaptive cephalopod.
NSCP-017: The Silver Golem. Decommissioned.
NSCP-018: The Cloning Mirror.
NSCP-019: The Laser Pointer. Part of a rifle.
NSCP-020: The Titanic Being. Atlas. Uncontained.
NSCP-021: The Infinite String.
NSCP-022: The Russian Spoon. It bends people.
NSCP-023: The Living Hut. Pufferfish.
NSCP-024: The Living Armor. Corai's magical powered armor.
NSCP-025: The Electric Boggarts. A race of creatures which are made of electricity and like scaring people.
NSCP-026: The Red Man. A person who turns things red by physical contact.
da_nang, Reality-Supporting Dragon from Space (+4 to avoid dying)
Doomblade, Godlike (+3)
Empiricist, Nothinghas Embodiment of YAFB-I (-1; in Narnia)
Furtaka; Pokemon: Arceus (kinda; +3)
Persus13, Immortal? (-2), Missing Fingers
Pufferfish, Hut Genus Loci
Xantalos, Dignityless Clown
Gyarados (+2); Pokemon: Alakazam (+2), Charizard (+2), Dragonite (+1), Snorlax (+1), Starmie (+1)
Knight Tiger (+2)
Healing Factor Cartoonland Time Man
Minor Barrier (-1 to attackers)
Terrific Teamwork Training: +1 when Working Together
Extra bonus: All get +1 to EVERYTHING
Leader: scapheap, Sailor Moon (+ from faction); Pokemon: Pikachu
Blossom; Pokemon: Charmander
Bubbles; Pokemon: Squirtle
Buttercup; Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Cardcaptor Torika; Pokemon: Porygon
Pam Akumachi; Pokemon: Caterpie
Kitty Pride; Pokemon: Ghastly
Pistachio, GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass; Pokemon: Self, Abra
Sailor Mars; Pokemon: Voltorb
Sailor Jupiter; Pokemon: Magnetite
Animal Mascots: 100, No Faction Bonuses
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Guy in a Bathrobe, In Japan
Leader: Lichette (+5, +2 from faction)
Dirg
Lich (+3)
TowerLich
Leader: Sauron, Badly Wounded (+4, -1 from Wounds, +2 from Faction)
Lieutenant: Hitler (+1 from Faction)
Ned Flanders
The Master (+3)
Voldemort (+2)
Minions:
12 Death Eaters
150 Generic Minions
572 Orcs
1.84 Million Stormtroopers, Assorted
Dr. Bright
Dr. Clef
Dr. Gears
Agents [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
12 Research Assistants
SCP-076-2 (+2)
SCP-105
Agent [REDACTED], wearing NSCP-007 (+1)
25 D-Class Personnel
TopHat (+2 to Summoning Hatlings; imprisoned)
150 Hatlings
300 Domestic Bowlers
Bush (the second)
Lincoln
Jackson (+1)
Roosevelt (the first) (+2)
Corai
Darth Vader
LordSlowpoke
Pufferfish
SCP-076
Silver Golem
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Alright. With your action, submit a nomination for who you think
The Final Boss is in this game.