Someone please kill me. PLEASE. Seriously this isn't funny
Attempt to die by ingesting a holy hand grenade
No HHGs around. Oh, wait.
[3] You lose a leg.
Close all portals except the one to alagaisia.
[1] You open several new portals and close the Alagaesian portal!
Morris Broadband, the obsessive-compulsive cable repair guy, meanders on scene and attempts to get his bearings while checking his pockets.
You have [3] a wrench. And this doesn't look like a place that would have cable. It looks like a place with a tower and a cottage and a battlefield and a bunch of portals. Speaking of portals, you get thrown into an alternate dimension by some guy you saw in a horror movie once, [5] but escape with some sort of magical stuff of some kind.
Respawn into the Sane People faction, gain +2 bonus.
[2] You don't get a bonus.
Turn power-pants inside out. Wear on head.
[4] You do. It works.
Respawn as Hannibal Lecter
*sigh*
Kidnap a random family member of one of the players who killed my bros.
Sequester them away in an inaccessible dimension and horrifically torture them while broadcasting their screams to the player.
[4] You respawn, stumble through a portal, chat with your one-turn-in-the-future stuff, head back through the portal, grab someone, stick them into such a dimension, and [5] get informed by your future self that the dimension allowed that someone to escape, empowered.
It seems I and FFS are the same. GAIN ART SKILLS OF HIM AND REMORSELESSNESS OF I. MAEK SCARY DRAWINGS.
[5] ART SKILLS GET!
Let Furtuka go. Teambuilding excise.
[4] Furtaka the three-legged rabbit is free! Some of the younger Magical Girls cry.
Summon Hatarmy.
Sen HatLeader to lead the army and destroy anyone who attacks the supervillains.
Also Ask the HatGods for a blessing.
[1] You summon Antihats!
BOSS TURN:
First off, some more people come out of the portals.
Portal to YAFB Aperture Science: [6] A drunken fool emerges! What was that guy's name again?
Portal to Ray's Castle: [5] Out comes a new model HERACLES-II robot!
Portal to Site Something-or-other: [5] Out comes a rude-looking guy with a pair of bookends.
Portal to SSB Arena: [1] A Magikarp exits.
Portal to Galaxy Core: [4] Another GreatWyrmGold?!?
Portal to Half an Hour Ago: [6] The Lich cometh.
Portal to Middle Earth: [6] Sauron in the height of his power comes with an army of orcs.
Portal to One Turn From Now: [1] Xantalos hops in and out.
Portal to Dungeons of Doom: [4] Out comes a lowercase h!
Portal to Narnia: [2] Nothing
Portal to L4 Point: [2] Nothing
Portal to New York: [6] Out comes a bunch of tourists.
GreatWyrmGolds try to negotiate a truce among players from the original YAFB. [2] They fail. [5v2,6v5] They get destroyed by the Romantics, assisted by the Conservatives.
The Embodiment of Technology takes control of all four HERACLES machines, the power pants, and the just-completed Heat Ray!
The Lich summons [1] misko27, his most ardent persecutor!
Sauron readies his armies.
The three bosses charge at one another! [2+4v6+3v2+3] Sauron's orcs suffer massive casualties, and the lich manages to single-handedly slay the Embodiment's few minions. It's uno a uno a uno, possibly mano a mano as well.
Tim shoots at the portals! [4] The portals to the L
4 Point and the Super Smash Brothers Arena are closed!
The Magical Girls survey the field, and [2] decide to have a filler episode!
[5] A new portal opens, and a Xantalos steps through it.
IF YOU WERE SKIPPED, YOU PROBABLY DIED.
No faction leader may have a faction leader bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Familiars and other weak minions always die with the faction, unless tied closely to the master.
One action per turn.
Oh for the love of Spinal stop summoning more people the arena is doing that very well for you.
Lich's Rebuilt Tower (lich is genus loci)
Crumpled Spacetime
Former Shoehorn Empire
Cheerful Cottage
Portal to YAFB Aperture Science
Portal to Ray's Castle
Portal to Site Something-or-other
Portal to Galaxy Core
Portal to Half an Hour Ago
Portal to Middle Earth
Portal to One Turn From Now
Portal to Dungeons of Doom
Portal to Narnia
Portal to New York
Portal to One Turn Ago
da_nang, Reality-Supporting Dragon from Space (+4 to avoid dying)
LordSlowpoke, LordSlowpoke
Pufferfish, Embodiment of Logic Gates
Vorthon, Sick Gibbon (Tim'd)
TheZoomZoll, interim Cthulhu
Leader: Embodiment of Technology (+4)
Minor Barrier (-1 to attackers)
Leader: scapheap, Sailor Moon (+2 from faction)
Corai
Furtaka, killer bunny rabbit (+1 on Killing)
Akira
Blossom
Bubbles
Buttercup
Cardcaptor Torika
the Enchantress
Pam Akumachi
Kitty Pride
Lyrical Nanoha
Pistachio, GraveHaunter's Daughter, a twice-orphaned Froslass
Sailor Mars
Sailor Mercury
Sailor Jupiter
Leader: TopHat (+1 from faction)
Lieutenant: HatLeader (+1)
Leader: Tim (+3)
Persus13 (+4)
Spinal_Taper, Former Crippled Cybernetic Hermaphroditic Improper Fraction Actress/Singer/Etc, Current Guy in a Bathrobe
Old Spinal_Taper
Leader: Ray
Mirror (Kamehameha Hadouken)
Psyghost
Shaper
Leader: BottomAntihat (+2)
Lieutenants: AntiHatGenerals (3; +1)
175 Antihatlings
70 Elite Antihatlings
25 Hatling Lieutenants
10 Hatling Corporals
freeformschooler, Morris Broadband
h
Magikarp
SCP-661(?), Carrying SCP-862
Tourists (2,500)