Wait, you're ACTUALLY KEEPING TRACK OF EACH INDIVIDUAL'S STATUS?!
For shame.
Why do you say that? Heck, Spinal kept about this much track of peoples' stats.
Anyhow, shapeshift into a gigantic fleet of reality-warping spaceships that exist outside of normal reality. Set a small ship aside to charge energy indefinetely.
[4] Sure, you do all that.
Knock down the castle
[1+1] You can't seem to find any weak enough walls.
Become an animated stone statue and attack Knight Tiger's fortress.
[6] You become a raging ball of rage! Strangely, attacking the moat first wasn't such a good idea, as it empties out into the planetary core. Somehow.
Regain powers
Put old head back like it was before I got turned into stone.
[3] You regain insanity powers. [2] Your head turns into ice cream.
Bash the Bloodstained Eater into the bunnies.
[3] You give it a shove.
>RESPAWN AND ROLL FOR FACTION BONUS
>REGROW ARM
You discover a rule that hasn't come up:
No faction leader may have a Faction Leader Bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers. Shame. [1] You lose an arm, despite being dead. You are now an armless corpse.
RAISE ZOMBIES, THROW KICKASS PARTY IN KNIGHT TIGER'S FORTRESS!
[3] You turn a couple corpses into zombies and start to party! It's kinda dull.
Summon more Greek heroes.
[6] You summon no less than Zeus! He kills you to prevent you from leading the faction and demands that the remaining Greek heroes take him to the party. Zeus gets bored...
Magically come back to life.
Head up to final boss chamber and summon hatling minions!
EDIT: Oh, and take the bunnie's ray gun as well. It should be about pistol sized for a human
[6] You are a ghost! Close enough, right? [6] An army of hatlings appears and decides to go rogue! [3] You kinda swipe at the gun with incorporeal hands. It's not very effective...
Use the pastry ring to bring the power of the legendary Sponge and Star to me!
[3] Spongebob and Patrick Star show up.
Repent.
"I forgive you. Now...join my side, acolyte, and help me regain the glory of the Machine God!" Do you accept?
BOSS TURN:
Okay, hold on. Let's look at the factions so far:
Heroes, Villains, Void, Greek Heroes, Hats, and about half a dozen unaligned NPCs. Remind me, how many factions were there when Xantalos started his?
Anyways. The Bloodstained Eater [2] decides it's full and falls asleep. The bunnies [1] kick it awake long enough for it to eat 1d6 of them before falling back asleep. Knight Tiger also tries kicking it awake, [2+2] successfully. Pretty much everyone else is at the party and/or got summoned last turn.
No faction leader may have a bonus greater than half the number of the leader's followers.
Dusky, Statue of a Religious Fanatic without a BIG stick
Doomblade187, Ice Cream Statue of a 187th Knight of the Doomy Blades
Furtaka, Powerful Mars golem
GraveHaunter92, PokeGhost
Pufferfish, Shattered Statue
scapheap, Dragon
TheZoomZoll, Animate Statue of a Headless Cthulhu (wearing fleshy head as hat)
tomio175, Statue of a Knight
Vorthon, Fallen Cleric with an Unpowered Exoskeleton
Xantalos, Fleet of Reality-Warping Spaceships (-1 to Warping Reality)
Leader: Knight Tiger (High Priest to the Machine God; Battle Vestments; Animated Statue) (+2)
2 Miniature Super-Intelligent Genetically-Modified Bunnies
Bloodstained Eater
Leader: da_nang, Dead (+0)
Achilles
Kratos (+1)
Zeus (+3)
5 zombies
Spongebob
Patrick Star