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Author Topic: 1002 bad GM Tips  (Read 16560 times)

Mlamlah

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1002 bad GM Tips
« on: December 26, 2012, 04:27:47 pm »

Because what one shouldn't do is just as important as what should do. Put up tips on how to be a bad GM. I'll start.

1.Railroad Plot, plan out every major event in advance, if your players somehow manage to worm their way out of the delightfully contrived story you've crafted then deus ex machina them back into it, use dragons if you have to.

2.Make the characters obsolete. So your characters have gotten that super-awesome ability they've been looking forward to since the games start? Crap, you havn't thought about how to deal with it, it could ruin your beautifully crafted plot! Quick! instead of figuring out an idea to make it work rewrite the script so that your players continually get thrown into situations where that snazzy new teleportation spell is useless.

3. Have your characters overshadowed by npc's, your players arn't humble enough, it's time to show them how little they matter in the scheme of your plot. Add an awesome npc to the group, have them be far stronger than any of your characters in that characters area of specialisation. Let this npc be batman to your parties robin. Contrive events where he needs to save your players from certain doom, let him narrarate plot constantly instead of letting the players figure out what's going on for themselves, have the npc take down dragons and main villians right in front of the main characters, while they stand helpless to really do anything. After all, your npc is the major plot driving force, your players are just along for the ride right?
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2012, 04:30:25 pm »

4. Run a big game, and require all dozen-odd players to post a turn before you even think about updating.
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vadia

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2012, 04:35:07 pm »

5 not taking the desires of the players into account (I'm gonna make the hackin'est and slashin'st game ever. vs. I'd like to play somebody who wants to bring peace and joy to all.)

5b Being almost totally secretive when setting up a game (It discourages me to not know what the GM's vague idea of a plot is -- like the characters will be robin hood types until they can make a head attack by themselves or you've got to use your resources to get the populous to work with you.)
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rabidgam3r

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2012, 09:42:47 pm »

6. Hey, you have an awesome idea for a plot! go make a thread without thinking on it, and then continue to post every 15 seconds until someone responds!
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rabidgam3r

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2012, 10:35:49 pm »

8. Crap, they wont follow the highly intricate (Read: Cliched and confusing) plotline! Well, ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES. New game!
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Thecard

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2012, 10:46:14 pm »

9. ROLL ALL THE DICE.  EVERY SINGLE DICE.  EVERY ACTION SHALL BE DECIDED BY FIVE D100S.

10. The dice aren't giving you what you want?  Slap a couple unexplained modifiers on!
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NobodyPro

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2012, 11:34:45 pm »

11. Players need to be led around on a leash. Create an NPC that is more powerful than the rest of the group, knows vital plot points and will murder anyone caught deviating from your plot. Lord Commissar Gandalf the White shall be your DMPC.
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vadia

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2012, 11:42:06 pm »

12 Go with the D&D module difficulty.  I'm sure a group of lvl one characters can take that 13 hd wyvrn after they've taken on 24 kobolds and 3 wandering monster encounters without losing a character (because then they have to start with level one.

13 Forcing players to take level one equivalents when the rest of the party is at like level 10 (Hunh, why does Bob's character die EVERY SINGE ENCOUNTER?  I just had a difficulty 10 pit trap with 2d6 damage at the bottom -- why would his wizzard die?)
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Xantalos

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2012, 01:01:47 am »

14. Everything the GM for the game of Old Man Henderson did.
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Mlamlah

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2012, 01:04:57 am »

14. Everything the GM for the game of Old Man Henderson did.
Buahahaha, that was awesome.
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vadia

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2012, 01:05:55 am »

14. Everything the GM for the game of Old Man Henderson did.
who?
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Mlamlah

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2012, 01:08:32 am »

Look it up, it was a call of cthulu campaign, you won't be dissapointed.
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Xantalos

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2012, 01:09:06 am »

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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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Araph

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2012, 01:33:10 am »

14. Everything the GM for the game of Old Man Henderson did.
who?

To sum up his story, he circumvented his irritating DM's plans in the most epic way possible. He killed an ancient and eldritch being with suicide-hockey-figure skating, suicide, and explosives. Lots and lots of explosives.
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TCM

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Re: 1002 bad GM Tips
« Reply #14 on: December 27, 2012, 01:41:14 am »

15. We need another zombie game immediately! Don't forget the cliches?

16. Female characters have the sole role of being romantic options. All good GMs know this already, as Roleplayers are womanizing bad boys IRL.

17. You should make a game on that book/movie/game that's been on your mind, right now.

18. Include character attributes that are never utilized.
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