Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Yep

No

Found this through Hall of Fame

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

So I invent it.

You first need to create the materials.  There are no radioactive substances...

MINIMALIST

I always forget about that...despite exploiting it.

[Persus13]

Look for map in control room.
See if there's a storage area

Invent antimatter bombs. Equip self with them.

(2) nope

Respawn as my previous character, who I liked. If this fails, locate some good lawyers.

(2) Nope (5) You find a couple of good lawyers.

It's clear you don't know what I mean by 'Challenge accepted.' I mean that I will find a way to achieve my meaningless goal, no matter how petty, pointless, or omnicidal I must become. I now know the rules of our unofficial accord. Tavik employs you, correct? Also, I do not lose. I still have at least one turn. You haven't returned to life, therefore I can still affect your employment status before your resurrection.

Acquire pauldrons larger than my head.
Achieve status as freelance paramilitary organization.
Expand my fleet.
Apply to Tavik for the expulsion of anyone whose name contains a 'g'. As that letter is a symbol of the rebellion.

(3) You acquire Pauldrons the size of your fingernail
(5) status achieved
(2) how?
(3) application sent

>Investigate possibility of a rebel alliance.

(6) You find out that Tavik Toth's group is a rebel alliance as they took over from everyone else.

Look for map in control room.
See if there's a storage area

(4) You find one
(1) The map sends you to the dungeons, and you get locked in one.

Look for map in control room.
See if there's a storage area

>Starship: burst out of broom closet.

(5) It does, quite dramatically.

Invent nuclear weapons.

(3) You create uranium. Now for creating a bomb. Also onyxjew wants to expel those with g in their name.

Onyxjew: head of  freelance paramilitary space force. in charge of 3 space ships. Sexy admiral hat.

Zanzetkuken: Void-energy dragon in charge of airforce

GWG: Immune to Heat, Temperature Resistance, Cannot tolerate Heavy Metal, and 125% the balance, strength and flexibility of an ordinary human. Earplugs, supervillain's Head Minion in charge of military with dumb mook follower Dead still. hiring lawyers

Yoink: Dead

LordSlowpoke: head of diplomacy in a ship in Tophat's bunker

Nosaneinme: Omision, crazy tech priest in charge of super serum project

Tavik Toth: Healing-Factored guy in charge of everything

TopHat: in bunker dungeons with gun, ammo and armor

Xantalos: Predator Drone with missiles stalking Bill Clinton. Head of intelligence in control of a satellite. Tasked with looking for rebels

[Xantalos]

Upgrade weapons to have antimatter warheads

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

>Search for a rebellion to our rebellion
>If unsuccessful, label anyone creating weapons that threaten the existance of the planet as rebels.

[GreatWyrmGold]

With the aid of the lawyers, who are as excellent and/or numerous as my rolling a 5 implies, devise a class-action lawsuit against all souls in Hell arguing that their imprisonment was unlawful and immoral, as not only were they unable to testify in any kind of court or with any kind of representation, but many of them were stuck in Hell for an eternal sentence for such petty crimes as not following the precepts of a certain religion, among other issues. Present this case in Celestial Court before a jury including such characters as the Serpent in the garden of Eden, Quetzelcoatl, and Job, attempting to get the court to order Hell to be dissolved and all inmates allowed into Heaven.

[Onyxjew944]

Upgrade pauldrons to respectable size.
Use my spehs colony to build new ships.
Upgrade weaponry.
Acquire new hive world.

[Nosaneinme]

Damm,Find an way to make money

[TopHat]

Shoot out dungeon lock.
Find storage area.
Make sure that bunker is nuke-proof.

[Tavik Toth]

Have all potential rebels rooted out then build nuclear weapons. Place them on mars. Also have moon colonised and put funding into serum project.

[Persus13]

Upgrade weapons to have antimatter warheads

(3) You invent antimatter.

>Search for a rebellion to our rebellion
>If unsuccessful, label anyone creating weapons that threaten the existance of the planet as rebels.

(1) You can't find one. You die from exhaustion. Respawn?

With the aid of the lawyers, who are as excellent and/or numerous as my rolling a 5 implies, devise a class-action lawsuit against all souls in Hell arguing that their imprisonment was unlawful and immoral, as not only were they unable to testify in any kind of court or with any kind of representation, but many of them were stuck in Hell for an eternal sentence for such petty crimes as not following the precepts of a certain religion, among other issues. Present this case in Celestial Court before a jury including such characters as the Serpent in the garden of Eden, Quetzelcoatl, and Job, attempting to get the court to order Hell to be dissolved and all inmates allowed into Heaven.

(2)(Yes I did roll this) Your lawyers are out argued by God, who uses the classic I am God defense, and argues that the people in Hell are ones who refused to join him even after he himself went into a human body and got nailed to a piece of wood as a sacrifice to allow everyone who chose to go to heaven to go to heaven. Finally, God calls in Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Peter, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon, Samuel, Moses, Joshua, Elisha, Elijah, Esther, Deborah, Mary, Mary Magdalene, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, James, Jonah, Noah, Adam and Eve, Timothy, Archangels Michael and Gabriel, Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Job to support his case. Meanwhile, Job testifies for God, Quetzelcoatl is discovered to be a human impostor, the Serpent gets thrown out for trying to bribe the jury with earthly delights. (That was fun to write. And probably revealed I am a Christian. Moving on.)

Upgrade pauldrons to respectable size.
Use my spehs colony to build new ships.
Upgrade weaponry.
Acquire new hive world.

(1) They fall off and are lost somewhere.
(1) the spehs colony blows up your current ships by accident. Respawn?

Damm,Find an way to make money

(6) You create a Ponzi scheme that makes you insanely rich. Many of the people you scammed are angry.

Shoot out dungeon lock.
Find storage area.
Make sure that bunker is nuke-proof.

(2) You miss

Have all potential rebels rooted out then build nuclear weapons. Place them on mars. Also have moon colonised and put funding into serum project.

(2) What rebels?
(1) You get cancer from radiation after the project fails.
(6) Moon colony established. Then they get mad cause they can't come back.
(2) Looks like Nosaneinme has that covered.

nyxjew: head of freelance paramilitary space force. Dead

Zanzetkuken: Void-energy dragon in charge of airforce Dead

GWG: Immune to Heat, Temperature Resistance, Cannot tolerate Heavy Metal, and 125% the balance, strength and flexibility of an ordinary human. Earplugs, supervillain's Head Minion in charge of military with dumb mook follower Dead still. Losing court battle for hell.

Yoink: Dead

LordSlowpoke: head of diplomacy in a ship in Tophat's bunker

Nosaneinme: Omision, crazy tech priest in charge of super serum project

Tavik Toth: Healing-Factored guy in charge of everything

TopHat: in bunker dungeons with gun, ammo and armor

Xantalos: Predator Drone with missiles stalking Bill Clinton. Head of intelligence in control of a satellite. Tasked with looking for rebels

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

>Respawn.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Sue God for contempt of court due to stacking the jury^{1[/sup, prove that he forged the evidence showing the Serpent's bribery2, child neglect and abuse3, various other forms of neglect4, and of course punishing people for not picking one arbitrary set of beliefs5. Also point out that "I Am God" just makes him more responsible for the results of his actions, as He would know exactly what would happen and could fix it with practically zero effort.}

Spoiler: Footnotes (click to show/hide)

1: Seriously, Job was on there twice and there were WAY more than 9.
2: Since when did "Knowledge of Good and Evil" == "Earthly Pleasures"?
3: The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was left completely unguarded. In addition, if the Tree gave Adam and Eve the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they couldn't have known right and wrong beforehand. Moreover, he made the Serpent, which told Eve to eat and share the fruit. Even if He didn't make it, He made what made it, and regardless His omniscience means He has no excuse for not seeing that coming. It's like leaving a poisoned glass of milk on the coffee table where a preschooler can reach it, telling him "NO." while pointing at it, then leaving the room and telling a neighborhood kid to tell the preschooler to drink it. And, since we're all Children of God, every tragedy to strike humanity is God neglecting humanity.
4: Since all humans, or at least all Christians⁶, are Children of God, God's omniscience allows him to know that they will happen, and His omnipotence lets Him stop them effortlessly, any tragedies to befall them are due to God's negligence. Also, the way God ignores almost all prayers--even refusing to give some sort of dream-sign or burning-bush-speech or oddly appropriate sermon or something most of the time--is also negligent.
5: To avoid sparking the wrath of the GM, I'll reduce this to two points: There is nothing suggesting that some kind of supreme intelligence was needed to make the Universe, and if human intelligence required a greater intelligence to create, where did the greater intelligence come from?
6: Why do Christians usually leave Jews and Muslims out of the title of "Children of God"?

[Xantalos]

Make an antimatter bomb the size of the sun

[Persus13]

Sue God for contempt of court due to stacking the jury^{1[/sup, prove that he forged the evidence showing the Serpent's bribery2, child neglect and abuse3, various other forms of neglect4, and of course punishing people for not picking one arbitrary set of beliefs5. Also point out that "I Am God" just makes him more responsible for the results of his actions, as He would know exactly what would happen and could fix it with practically zero effort.}

Spoiler: Footnotes (click to show/hide)

1: Seriously, Job was on there twice and there were WAY more than 9.
2: Since when did "Knowledge of Good and Evil" == "Earthly Pleasures"?
3: The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was left completely unguarded. In addition, if the Tree gave Adam and Eve the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they couldn't have known right and wrong beforehand. Moreover, he made the Serpent, which told Eve to eat and share the fruit. Even if He didn't make it, He made what made it, and regardless His omniscience means He has no excuse for not seeing that coming. It's like leaving a poisoned glass of milk on the coffee table where a preschooler can reach it, telling him "NO." while pointing at it, then leaving the room and telling a neighborhood kid to tell the preschooler to drink it. And, since we're all Children of God, every tragedy to strike humanity is God neglecting humanity.
4: Since all humans, or at least all Christians⁶, are Children of God, God's omniscience allows him to know that they will happen, and His omnipotence lets Him stop them effortlessly, any tragedies to befall them are due to God's negligence. Also, the way God ignores almost all prayers--even refusing to give some sort of dream-sign or burning-bush-speech or oddly appropriate sermon or something most of the time--is also negligent.
5: To avoid sparking the wrath of the GM, I'll reduce this to two points: There is nothing suggesting that some kind of supreme intelligence was needed to make the Universe, and if human intelligence required a greater intelligence to create, where did the greater intelligence come from?
6: Why do Christians usually leave Jews and Muslims out of the title of "Children of God"?

Those were witnesses, not jury members. Also I'd rather not get into a humongus debate over sin, God and why he doesn't interfere. Also if I had rolled a 4,5, or 6, things would be different.

[Persus13]

Contain antimatter in a bomb the size of the sun

Ummm