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[Shakerag]

gogo Zrk2 bandwagon!

[Nerjin]

As RangerCado played with his brand new DIAMOND COW OF DOOM that he recieved out of nowhere, it having no effect on the game since he didn't PM me at night. Well... He didn't PM ME at all but forwarded it to me through EpicMario... I don't know why.

So anyways as you all sat around voting eachother for who knows why... Seriously... Does a Creeper look like a chicken to you? No... No it doesn't. So anyways... A big ball of rage fell from the sky. He goes by many names: Dariush or Dariush being the preferred ones. Every now and again he goes by the name Dariush just to mix it up a little. So he showed up and found Notquitethere who up until now had been using his name to his advantage in the fact that he wasn't quite here. I know I'm hilarious. I'm sure no one has EVER told that joke before.

So anyways Dariush the Loving walked into the room "What's up Dumb-fucks? Who's ready for a real man to show you how it's done." Now while this MAY sound like the introduction to a "porn" film or something... Which is odd considering it doesn't at all... Seriously what the hell do you watch? Regardless Dariush reached into his pants and pulled out his 7 inch sword and lovingly inserted it into Notquitethere's throat. And by Sword I mean wooden sword.

So after NQT choked to death on the sword and he too was added to the pool [which had been upgraded during the night to have a glass floor with eternally burning Everstone beneath it [Really nice touch. Keeps it warm in the winter] You all INSTANTLY forgot about NQT being dead. After all it's only IMPORTANT FLAVOR THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS READ FOREVER.

However deep within the Nether a ghost was brewing. His name? Notquitethe- alright the punchline is that Dariush is being haunted and that's why he's so angry all the time.

... So... That's all for flavor right now...

You don't have to read anymore.

Um... How are you? Doing anything later? I'm not so I was thinking maybe you and I cou- Oh... No it's cool. I understand. Some other time then?
Day ends when someone has 4 votes. Or when I get bored and decide to move the game along. Welcome to Minecraft.

• Okami No Rei
• Toonyman Borno
• Captain FordQuadressence
• Zrk2: Shakerag [1]
• Shinigami_King
• RangerCado: Borno [1]
  
  • Dariush

[Dariush]

Hm... I'm quite positive NQT must be scum. No townie would have any reason to haunt me. Also, Nerjin is obviously scum.

[RangerCado]

...This is too freaky! Get me out of this town!!!

-Make a run for it! ... With daggers! (Roll to Dodge time!)

[Dariush]

-Make a run for it! ... With daggers! (Roll to Dodge time!)

[1] You accidentally poke out both of your eyes and then commit seppuku.

RangerCado died. He was a Townie.

[Shinigami_King]

I PMed you... whatever. The diamond cow of doom or whatever must be to blame. Kill it with fire.

[RangerCado]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

[Dariush]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

No, Cado! I am the mod!

[notquitethere]

[You're also wanted in the Toony thread, Dariush.]

[webadict]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

No, Cado! I am the mod!

And then RangerCado was a zombie.

[RangerCado]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

No, Cado! I am the mod!

And then RangerCado was a zombie.

Well, that depends. Was i bitten? Or did i stay awake for 36 hours straight again?

[Captain Ford]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

No, Cado! I am the mod!

And then RangerCado was a zombie.

Dammit. I had that exact same thought!

Also I make a banjo. Then I give it to a tree and make this. Because this is minecraft, and you can do anything with the power of modding.

...I should seriously make a d20 mod for minecraft...

[Tiruin]

The laughter hurts my lungs XD

[Dariush]

Dariush! You are not the mod! Nerjin is!

No, Cado! I am the mod!

And then RangerCado was a zombie.

Why did you resurrect him, Wuba?

[Nerjin]

Alright so what have I missed? I stepped out for a bit and left Dariush in charge and… holy shit… Okay I better fix this mess up right quick. But first a recap.

LAST TIME: On Minecraft Mafia.

“Leave me foul ghost! Haunt some other Manly Man who is the Manliest Man to Man since the dawn of Man!” Shouted Dariush as he rushed to and fro from the haunting presence of NotQuiteThere who planned to eternally torment our lovely hero.

“Nay, say I, for it is not he that is I but we that is us. I have seen the abyss and it stares to me and we together must be.” The Ghost opined in a really bitchin’ echo effect.

Meanwhile RangerCado tries to get the fuck outta here with his two daggers… Swords actually cause… Minecraft but whatever… Anyways he tries to run and [1]Fall on them stabbing himself in the eye. While trying to get up he [1]Slips in his own blood and accidently disembowels himself. [1]However he is forced to live with the pain because this fails to kill him until he [6] Eats a porkchop and is fully healed because I need an excuse not to modkill him bitches and hoes don’t exist cause bitches know I’m a feminist.

In another undisclosed location Shinigami_king creeps slowly through a darkened alley. The hooting of pixilated owls follows him wherever he goes. ‘I hate owls’ our grizzled lord thinks to himself as he sneaks past the unbreathing body of a hooker. Some months old by the look of her 8-bit corpse. Finally reaching his destination the tall sword wielding detective kicks open the door “Halt where you are!” He shouts.

It’s The Diamond Cow of Doom!

“You thought I wouldn’t figure out it was you? The clues were obvious.” The king pressed 8 and leveled his bow at the bovine of badness “At first I wasn’t so sure but it all made sense after I found the matchbook.”

“Damn! Foiled again.”

“Yes. Now you will be forced by the mod to return his mail. I deserve a prize as much as any other player. Now get to the squad car. No sudden movements or I’ll immolate ya.”

In a nearby town…

Webadict, the Exiled King, stood over the whatever you’d call it of RangerCado. “But I’m not dead… I got better!”

“… Did you just reference Monty Python?” Wuba asked the not-quite-dead Ranger.

“Sorta…”

“Fuck you…” Wuba stated as he stabbed the everloving hell out of RangerCado because I needed him to.

“Zounds! With that action my mortal function has been undone!”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Indeed for ‘twould now be an opportune time for your dark arts to make their appearance.”

“Precisely!” The exiled King-necromancer shouted “But first stay up for 36 hours straight…”

36 hours later…

“Did you watch me the entire time?” Asked the dead-but-not-quite RangerCado
“Yeah… Probably shouldn’t have. I’m tired.”

“Well I’m a zombie.”

“Not quite yet.” Wuba said as he cast a magical spell of miracle magic. “Now you’re an animated Zombie Zombie who stayed up far too long.”

“Oh… Alrighty.” RangerCado said before coughing heavily.

“Oh no! My creation is out of control! He is now infected with the airborne zombie virus! He’s now an Animated Sleep Virus Zombie! Quick drink this water!”

After guzzling the small cup of water RangerCado’s cough became even worse.

“Oh FUCK! Now he’s got the waterborne virus! I must have mixed up the cups! I should label that shit next time… Anyways now he’s a Animated Sleep Virus Bacteria Zombie! I better punt him out the window!” So he did.

Unfortunately RangerCado the Animated Sleep Virus Bacteria Zombie landed right on a George Romero zombie and next to a Dead Rising zombie.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Shouted Webadict who munched on the webs he was so addicted to. “Now he’s a Animated Sleep Virus Bacteria Bitten Zombie who’s got a little… misquito in his body? Seriously the fuck was up with that shit… Just let them be bite zombies capcom…”

We leave our mad scientist neck fetishist king alone for now because that seems like an R-rated horror film and I don’t wanna write about that. Let’s look at something more peaceful…

Captain Ford of the Nerjin’s Army 2nd division was enjoying his retirement with a nice round of Mafia while he lovingly carved a masterwork wooden banjo. Smiling as he removed another sliver of unnecessary wood from his creation he grinned. “Almost done.”

For you see children, Ford had never removed more than a few centimeters of wood at a time in order to make the banjo as perfect as possible. In fact he generally removed a millimeter at a time with a centimeter being him rushing once in a while.

Finally the banjo was done. Made of the most beautiful oaken wood imaginable. If you could see the banjo you would recognize that it wasn’t solid. Not at all actually it only appeared that way. In reality the surface of the banjo had trillions of intricate designs carved into it all of them speaking to the truth of the universe.

“I… I don’t deserve this.” Ford thought as he gazed upon his masterwork. “I need to give it to nature like a little bitch elf… Why’d I say that?”

Sorry Ford but we don’t like elves around here…

“But I carved it from a tree!”

Oh… nevermind then. My apologies.

“So I’m not an elf?”

“Nope. Besides this is minecraft. No elves in minecraft.”

“Yay!” Ford stated as he stood from his old-timey rockin’ chair. [Note: This is a Rockin’ Chair. It doesn’t rock back in forth it simply plays the greatest rokk songs ever made.]

So anyway Ford slowly ambled onto the tree patch and handed the banjo to a tree. As soon as he turned away however he heard a chilling set of words “Where you goin’ pretty boy?”

For that tree… the night had only just begun… [Ford wasn’t raped by the way… The tree was. Make of that what you will.]

Also a lot of people voted for eachother and the mod and random story elements.

Webadict has been forced into playing by Dariush

Day ends when someone has 4 votes. Or when I get bored and decide to move the game along. Welcome to Minecraft.

• Okami No Rei
• Toonyman Borno
• Captain FordQuadressence
• Zrk2: Shakerag [1]
• Shinigami_King
• RangerCado: Borno [1]
• Dariush
• Diamon Cow of Doom: Shinigami_King [1]
• NotQuiteThere:
• Nerjin:
• Webadict: Dariush