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[Mullet Master]

The kingdom of Sirrus is a wonderful place. The lush green fields and bathed in sunshine, and the capital city of Cryssalus is floating city filled with all sorts of wonderful sights. Knights fly past, riding on glowing unicorns. All the buildings, including the castle, are made out of gleaming pink quartz, mined from long forgotten places. It's almost perfect... almost.

This Kingdom is owned by the humans. You are a gnome, working as a servant. Every day, you cook and clean for your human masters, like all the rest of the gnomes. Even though the humans really have no need for you due to their advanced level of magic, they would prefer to keep you around .. as entertainment.

You've heard all the jokes too many times. About how short gnomes are. About how they should "stand up". Oh yes, and your current master's favorite "What do you call a dwarf standing on a chair with a rope in his hand? Gnome bungie jumping! "


On this day, the glorious 4th cycle , year 2201, the gnomes rose up.

Today, you are on garden gnome duty. You have to wear a pointed hat, and stand around some rich human's garden, occasionally moving around while the humans aren't looking to "surprise" them. Yeah, right. Another day of absolute humiliation.

There are two humans in a large manor , enjoying breakfast on their patio. You are in the garden, along with 3 other gnomes.

One of the gnomes calls out to you....
"Psst! Brother, what is your name?"
 

[Spinal_Taper]

I am Lenindorf the Fuschia.

[Yoink]

I am Che Gnomevera.

[Xantalos]

I am Che Gnomevera the Fuschia, Arranger of Flowerbeds.

[Cassandra]

I am Che Gnomevera the Fuschia, Arranger of Flowerbeds.

[Mullet Master]

You shuffle over to your gnomish brethren and respond,  "I am Che Gnomevera the Fuschia, Arranger of Flowerbeds."

The gnome looks at you with a skeptical eye and adjusts his red, conical felt hat. "That seems like a complicated name. You sound fancy. How can a leader of our people be so fancy? Are you secretly a human? No, your nose is too big. Anyway. I am the one the humans call Fred, and the other gnome is Tom. The one over by the pumpkins is Kristina. "

"We don't want to be here anymore. The humans will never let us go... so we need to find a way to rise against them. To stop them from enslaving our people. These two humans here are old and weak. They would be an excellent starting point, should we choose to turn their own gardening tools against them. There's a hoe in the shed. Or do you have another suggestion?"

The gnome known as Kristina slowly creeps over to your location. "Hello. Are you doing it Fred? Are we really going to be free?"

Fred looks at Kristina and sighs. "I don't know. We will see what Che will help us do..."

[Spinal_Taper]

We shall set to the hoe in a manner to cause pain, as well as laughter, by making it strike theming the face, as I learned by watching the Humans own media! We will turn their own knowledge against them!

[Xantalos]

We shall set to the hoe in a manner to cause pain, as well as laughter, by making it strike theming the face, as I learned by watching the Humans own media! We will turn their own knowledge against them!

Yes! Use the hoe as a gnome catapult to fly a strike team into our oppressor's faces, where they shall pinch their noses and cheeks, and pull their hair!

[tryrar]

And then cut their brains out with their own butter knives!

[Xantalos]

And then cut their brains out with their own butter knives!

Then BAKe ThE BRAinS iNTo PIeS, ANd ThroW ThE Pies inTo tHeiR FaceS!

[Yoink]

>Leave gardening implements scattered about carelessly so that the humans shall walk out to mock us and step on them, thus causing them to flip up and strike them in their silly faces, rendering them unconscious!

>Then we shall tie them up.

[Corai]

>Leave gardening implements scattered about carelessly so that the humans shall walk out to mock us and step on them, thus causing them to flip up and strike them in their silly faces, rendering them unconscious!

>Then we shall tie them up.

[GreatWyrmGold]

We shall set to the hoe in a manner to cause pain, as well as laughter, by making it strike theming the face, as I learned by watching the Humans own media! We will turn their own knowledge against them!

Yes! Use the hoe as a gnome catapult to fly a strike team into our oppressor's faces, where they shall pinch their noses and cheeks, and pull their hair!

And set the catapult on fire!

[Mullet Master]

Working quickly with the other gnomes, you set up all the garden tools in a haphazard manner. You bury them in the deeper grass of the garden, hoping they will remain undetected.

You are confident your scheme will work - all it will take is a wandering human to set off your traps.

But time passes, and the lazy humans sit on the porch, eating and napping. The sun grows lower in the
sky, and your group gets bored and listless. You declare :

"We shall build a catapult, and launch one of us at the lazy slobs."

Being gnomes, you have a penchant for machinery, which is oft overlooked by the humans. They prefer to use magic instead. Using several sacks of seed, a few pieces of scrap lumber from the shed, and a few lengths of rope, you build a trebuchet and point it towards the porch.

After you attach the last board, a human stands up from his chair and looks down at your creation. "Oy, gnomes? What you doing there! You are making a mess of the ger-den! Stop that! I'll go get me dog!"

[GreatWyrmGold]

Catapult lawn tools at the dog!