Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

What's the difference between a mutant and a vampire?

Spoiler: punchline (click to show/hide)

One's blood sucks, while the other sucks blood.

[TD1]

What's the difference between a politician and a vampire?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

[Kagus]

What's the difference between a politician and a vampire?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

One fears for their stake in the polls, the other fears for a Pole with a stake.

[Culise]

Politics: from "poly-," meaning "many", and "ticks," small blood-sucking creatures.

[TD1]

I'm going to assume it's to do with the Greek polis more than poly...

On the other hand, the "tick" bit does explain Nick Clegg.

[Starver]

(Why can't it be both? The many, the masses, the people, hoi polloi. Pollarchy, as opposed to an oligarchy. It's a further distance from politician to polite (polished, smoothed, via Latin) than the link to the citizens upon whom they enact policies. * And that's your dissected frog for the day. Don't say I don't give you anything.)

[Culise]

Because polis (city) comes from polis/ptolis, meaning "citadel/fort", with ultimate antecedent being PIE "tpolh", while poly (many) comes from the PIE "pele" (to fill).  As might have been guessed from tying the second half of a Greek word attested since Plato to an English word of Germanic origin, it is meant to be a terrible joke and not a serious etymological statement.
^{Fresh delivery of frogs for dissection, right here.}

[Loud Whispers]

What's the difference between a politician and a vampire?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

One is content with only ruining the lives of individuals

[Starver]

Just saw the radio listing for BBC Radio 4, yesterday. In particular I noted You And Yours, a consumer issues programme of particular note. It's a magazine-style format that often covers multiple issues or concern across its 45 minute timeslot, when they don't devote a whole broadcast to how the very latest government budget is going to affect the lives of people in social care, or whatever.

On the entry for November 22nd,  the subtitle gives the following precis of the day's content:
"Young people's mental health; Underwear; Student deposits"

[Kagus]

On the entry for November 22nd,  the subtitle gives the following precis of the day's content:
"Young people's mental health; Underwear; Student deposits"

Shocking! What Happens Next Will MAKE YOU LITERALLY SHIT YOURSELF.

[Kagus]

What's the difference between a numbers prodigy and horny Mike Tyson?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

One of them won at maths, the other wanna thmath.

I recently managed to forcibly inflict a terrible joke on some otherwise pleasant conversation last weekend... There was a group of us sitting around a table eating cake, and this big Irish fellow was ensuring that this incredibly rag-tag collection of nationalities at the table were all aware of what a Tijuana donkey show was (in order to lead up to the old punchline of "and the worst part is, they make them do it even if the donkey doesn't find the lady attractive!"). I made a quick interjection.

"Donkey shows are one thing, but have you ever seen a donkey hide?"

"A what? Like, a hide-and-seek hide?"

"Yeah."

"...No, no I haven't."

"That's because they're very good at it."


I call mah dog 'Scooter', cuz the harder you kick, the faster he goes!

[Yoink]

I just found out they made a book about clock fetishes

It's about fucking time

   

[a1s]

Oh, Facebook is full of those. I recently ran into this delightful cluster

Here's one:

Will transparent coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

this post will get buried

clearly

The process must be as transparent as possible

Some people might be dead set against it, but it should be looked into.

[Kagus]

The opposite of a pedant is a propellant.

One is walking down the sidewalk, the other is flying a plane.

[a1s]

Am I becoming old or does ligma not have the narrative consistency of updog?