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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712395 times)

Kot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3420 on: August 22, 2016, 03:53:35 pm »
Quite qiling perspective.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on September 10, 2016, 06:13:50 am
Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

crazysheep

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3421 on: August 22, 2016, 09:43:47 pm »
Quote from: hector13 on August 22, 2016, 03:15:43 pm
I thought a q in pinyin was pronounced "ch". Ah well.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3422 on: August 26, 2016, 11:36:48 am »
So a boy has forgotten his homework and tries to fake being sick.
His mum decides to take him to the doctor, and smart kid that he is, he pops a few ice cubes in his mouth before he gets in the car.

Walks into the doctor's office, coughing and gasping and says he's got a chill. Doctor pulls out the thermometer and says "Alright, bend over"
Sure enough he gets caught, the mom gives him a smack and he has to go to school.

A few months later, the boy tries it again. He swaggers into the doctor's office, says he's got a chill. Doctor says "alright, open up"
Boy asks why the doctor isn't checking it the same place as last time.
Doctor says "You've been walking funny since you came through the door.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3423 on: August 26, 2016, 05:40:37 pm »
Ma'am your son appears to have hypothermia... somehow...
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Dozebôm Lolumzalěs

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3424 on: August 26, 2016, 06:03:17 pm »
My guess for the noted non-deja-vu phenomenon:

You actually have heard it, but never made note of it. Once you noticed it, its commonality means that you hear it soon after.
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...Simplification leaves us with the black extra-cosmic gulfs it throws open before our frenzied eyes...
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The only difference between me and a fool is that I know that I know only that I think, therefore I am.
Sigtext!
Spoiler: assorted stuff (click to show/hide)

BorkBorkGoesTheCode

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3425 on: September 07, 2016, 10:03:56 pm »
NSA! NSA! NSA!
say their name three times and they'll appear.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images

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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3426 on: September 07, 2016, 10:07:43 pm »
Well you're now on a watch list, so same thing.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

origamiscienceguy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3427 on: September 07, 2016, 11:47:01 pm »
My professor said that you can't do anything with a square root of negative numbers.

i begs to differ.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Yoink

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3428 on: September 08, 2016, 12:22:42 am »
My life.

p. sure that joke's been made here before, but both it and its subject matter are still terrible.
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on February 17, 2019, 05:32:37 pm
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
Quote from: grisha5 on August 07, 2014, 02:08:36 am
you need to reconsider your life
Quote from: JoshuaFH on March 29, 2018, 07:54:09 am
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

BorkBorkGoesTheCode

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3429 on: September 13, 2016, 10:47:28 pm »
The EmDrive isn't reactionless; look at the news.

(Seriously, stop snarking and do experiments)
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images

Believe nothing you hear. Or everything. Have fun. Love when?

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hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3430 on: September 14, 2016, 04:47:12 am »
Why are they so many anti-abortionists?

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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3431 on: September 14, 2016, 04:48:57 am »
I found one at 7:00PM in Australia. No- wait... I found two at 7:00PM in Australia. One is called A Current Affair and the other is called Today Tonight.

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A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3432 on: September 14, 2016, 03:00:05 pm »
What does the B. in Bernoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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BorkBorkGoesTheCode

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3433 on: September 14, 2016, 05:10:24 pm »
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
Made ya look.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images

Believe nothing you hear. Or everything. Have fun. Love when?

I frequently use PMs to contact people if I think they would miss a post in the deluge.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3434 on: September 14, 2016, 06:24:06 pm »
Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.
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