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[Yoink]

BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY

DEDICATED TO PROTECTING THE INTERNET FROM STUPID PEOPLE AND STUFF
YOU ARE DEWY-EYED IDEALISTIC ROOKIE SIGNING UP TO DO GOOD DEEDS AND ALL THAT

IN THE BAYTWELVENCY THERE ARE 12 DIVISIONS

COMMAND DIVISION
COMMANDO DIVISION
STRATEGY DIVISION
IT DIVISION
PAPER-PLANE-MAKING DIVISION
FINANCIAL DIVISION
PETTING ZOO DIVISION
GENERAL MAINTENANCE
SCIENCE DIVISION
GENERAL ENGINEERING
PAPER PUSHING DIVISION
JANITORIAL DIVISION

ALL THOSE SOUND REAL EXCITING AND STUFF, BUT YOU RESUME TOO BAD

YOU JANITOR

MOPPING FLOORS, PLUGGING BULLETHOLES IN WALLS, DISPOSING OF SECRET BODIES AND STUFF

MAYBE ONE DAY YOU GET PROMOTED TO PAPER PUSHING

FOR NOW YOU CLEAN POOP
MAYBE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LAWYER LIKE [INSERT RELATIVE HERE] ALWAYS SAID
OH WELL

YOU ALL START OFF IN JANITORIAL BULLPEN

YOU EACH HAVE (1)JANITORIAL JUMPSUIT, (1)WOODEN MOP, (1)DENTED METAL BUCKET

SEVERAL POINTS ON THE BIG MAP ON WALL ARE FLASHING

THAT MEANS YOU GOT WORK TO DO, PEOPLE

>GET TO WORK

[da_nang]

EXCELLENT...

>GRAB ZE GEAR AND GET TO ZE IT DIVISION. MONITOR ZE MONITORS VILE PRETENDING TO MOP ZE FLOOR. JA.

[LordSlowpoke]

BREAK MAP

JOB COMPLETE

[Digital Hellhound]

BAY 12 IS SECRET AGENCY? GREAT. CHECK POSITIONS OF PROMINENT BAY12ERS. START WITH YOINK (PROBABLY A JANITOR TOO).

[TopHat]

Grab gear.
Get to work, humming.

[Yoink]

EXCELLENT...

>GRAB ZE GEAR AND GET TO ZE IT DIVISION. MONITOR ZE MONITORS VILE PRETENDING TO MOP ZE FLOOR. JA.

[1] YOU FILL YOUR BUCKET WITH SOAPY WATER, GRAB A HANDFUL OF ASSORTED SPONGES TO COMPLEMENT YOUR MOP, THEN HURRY OFF OVER TO IT DIVISION

YOU ARE PRETENDING TO WORK, MOPPING THE NON-DIRTY FLOOR WHEN SOMETHING REALLY INTERESTING POPS UP ON AN UNATTENTDED SCREEN

YOU STEP FOWARD TO TAKE A LOOK AND KNOCK OVER YOUR BUCKET, SPILLING HOT SOAPY WATER OVER A BUNCH OF CABLES

SMOKE POURS OUT, ALARMS START TO GO OFF

WHOOPS

BREAK MAP

JOB COMPLETE

[2] YOU CAN'T REACH IT

...YOU'RE KINDA SHORT

BAY 12 IS SECRET AGENCY? GREAT. CHECK POSITIONS OF PROMINENT BAY12ERS. START WITH YOINK (PROBABLY A JANITOR TOO).

[6] YOU HEAD ON OVER TO THE JANITORIAL COMPUTER TERMINAL (IT'S PRETTY DODGY, BUT IT KINDA WORKS)

YOU BRING UP A LIST OF EMPLOYEES

YOU'RE PRETTY SURE THIS STUFF WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OFF-LIMITS, BUT YOU MANAGE TO FIND A PROFILE MARKED 'YOINK'
APPARENTLY HE SHE OR IT WORKS IN THE PAPER-PLANE-MAKING DIVISION

THAT'S SEVEN DIVISIONS ABOVE YOURS WOW THAT GUY MUST BE REALLY AWESOME AND MYSTERIOUS

UNFORTUNATELY YOU HAVE BEEN SLACKING OFF AND DAYDREAMING AND MASTER JANITOR McGEE ROLLS OVER AND STARTS SHOUTING AT YOU

HE IS WEARING A FUNNY HAT AND IS THREATENING TO GET YOU DEMOTED

YOU'RE ABOUT TO ASK WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN JANITORS, BUT THEN YOU REALISE

OH NO

OH GOD NO THAT'S WHAT HE MEANS

ANYTHING BUT THAT
YOU HAD REALLY BETTER GET TO WORK

Grab gear.
Get to work, humming.

[2]YOU GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER, HEAD OVER TO THE NEAREST TAP AND START TO FILL YOUR BUCKET

YOU HUM MEANWHILE

SADLY THE DAMN THING IS KINDA HEAVY, AND THE ASSIGNMENT YOU CHOSE IS WAY OVER IN B57 BLOCK. THAT'S A LONG WALK

[TopHat]

Find a closer assignment. Failing that, PERSEVERE!Whilst humming

[LordSlowpoke]

FIND THE MOST GRUESOME ASSIGNMENT AND HEAD TO SAID ASSIGNMENT WITH A SPONGE IN HAND AND TEASPOON OF SALTWATER IN OTHER

[Greenstarfanatic]

>JUGGLE WHILE CLEANING.

[da_nang]

SCHEISSE.

>PULL ZE CABLES! ALL OF ZEM! SCHNELL!

[Scelly9]

Clean while juggling!

[mcclay]

GO TO RANDOM SOPT AND CLEAN SHIT.

[hops]

TELL A TECHNICIAN TO FIX DA_NANG'S MESS

[Yoink]

Find a closer assignment. Failing that, PERSEVERE!Whilst humming

[4] YOU CHOOSE CLOSER JOB INSTEAD

NEED TO MOP UP LEAK IN CHEMICAL STORAGE HALLWAY NEARBY IN F07

FIND THE MOST GRUESOME ASSIGNMENT AND HEAD TO SAID ASSIGNMENT WITH A SPONGE IN HAND AND TEASPOON OF SALTWATER IN OTHER

[5] YOU WANT MOST GRUESOME ASSIGNMENT?! YOU GET MOST GRUESOME ASSIGNMENT, DAMNIT

YOU GRAB SPONGE, SPOON AND SALTWATER AND HEAD OFF TOWARDS D647

THEY ARE DISSECTING DISEASED PART OF YOUTUBE IN LAB, NEED YOU TO MOP UP MESS + GET RID OF ICKY BITS

ON YOUR WAY OVER THERE LIGHT SUDDENLY DIMS FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE THE EMERGENCY GENERATOR KICKS IN.
WEIRD, BUT STUFF LIKE THAT HAPPENS A LOT APPARENTLY

>JUGGLE WHILE CLEANING.

[1] LA LA LAAA

OH BOY CLEANING IS SUCH EXCELLENT FUN WHEN YOU CAN JUGGL--

OH GOD MILITARY GRADE BLEACH IN THE EYYYYYYEEES OH IT HURTS IT HURTS

Item Lost: Sight!

IT IS DARK. YOU HURT

SCHEISSE.

>PULL ZE CABLES! ALL OF ZEM! SCHNELL!

OH GOTT OH GOTT VAT DO YOU DO?!

UNPLUG EVERYTHING, OF COURSE
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN WATER GETS ON THEM ELECTRICAL THINGIES, RIGHT?!

[1]BBBBZZZZZZZZTTTTSSSHHKKKRZZZZZ

Clean while juggling!

[1] (WTF RANDOM.ORG)

YOU WATCH SOME GUY ATTEMPT TO JUGGLE CLEANING PRODUCTS UP AHEAD OF YOU

DUMBASS SPILLS BLEACH IN HIS EYES
AS HE SCREAMS HIS HEAD OFF, YOU DECIDE TO SHOW HIM (WELL IF HE COULD SEE, HA HA) HOW IT'S DONE

WHILST STILL MOPPING WITH ONE HAND

SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS FLICKER IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PERFORMANCE, AND YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING

WELL DONE

Item Lost: Sight!

GO TO RANDOM SOPT AND CLEAN SHIT.

[4] YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND RUN OFF WILLY-NILLY

END UP IN BATHROOM BLOCK T-437

TOILET IS CLOGGED, YOU ARE PRETTY SURE

SMELLS BAD, MAN

ALSO LIGHTS FLICKER, HEAR SCREAMING IN DISTANCE, ALL THAT JAZZ

TELL A TECHNICIAN TO FIX DA_NANG'S MESS

[1] YOU WATCH AS DA_NANG SPILLS WATER ON THE CABLES

YOU IMMEDIATELY TURN AND RUN TOWARDS A DOOR AS THE SIRENS START WAILING AND SHOUT FOR A TECHNICIAN, PLEASE, OH GOD WHERE ARE ALL THE TECHNICIANS

OH THERE THEY ARE, RUSHING ONTO SCENE

...THEY'RE KINDA HEAVILY ARMED
DON'T LOOK TOO HAPPY EITHER

YOU START TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENDED WHEN ONE OF THEM SMACKS YOU IN HEAD WITH RIFLE BUTT AND PUSHES PAST

Item Lost: Consciousness!


((GM HAS NO IDEA WHERE HE IS GOING WITH THIS

RUNNING OUT OF INSPIRATION HALP))

[TopHat]

Go and mop up chemical leak. While humming!