I don't know how to un-sideways this picture because that btolle was a lot fuller a few minitues ago.
*picture mremoved*
(sorry it was just too big it kept making my previes act weird but it's a pbtolle of pina colada*)
Today, we learned that fried chicken and pina scoladas do not ix well.
had to update to a new DF version to maek the save work (I wonder if that's why I couldn't run Jervill's save?)
*time passes while becoming more drunk so I can start*
エｘクセ
ahem
excuse me, how did my ability to read Japanese INCREASE when I started drinking? That is setting a dangerous precednte
"This pina colada is made from a rum base. It contains pineapples and coconuts. It is a long tropical cocktail."
I'm going through the dorfing list while drunking. someone should update thtat. and move it to the front of the thread. or the end. One of those.
Okay! Now that walking over to my fried chikcen takes concerted effort, time to start.
well at least the walls are singing somteimtes around wall the scareaming
HOLY FUCK
DWARF FORTRESS HAS BEEN CONVERTED TO HIPPY FORTRESS
asparagus all up in here
dwarves going to be peeing weird colours all over the place
weait... no they don't
people are signing the fort all over the place
so I'm jumping in on theat bote becauz hip
so baller.
welp le'ts unpoasu this bitch
see what happens
...nothing?
5 idlers?
people being productive
*squint*
Something's up. Person before me, are you sure yo uwere drunk?
Or maybe this is the idyllic doomed hometown and we just don't know it wyet.
There will be only wone drwof left and he will assmelmbel a fragtag bunchr of misftis and save the world fro dthe drunk overloadrd
First thing that happens is an artifact? No way. not a hope. not in dwarf fortress. not in druanok fortress. we are dfeinatelsdy in the dooewmd homewton. we are all gonna die
well there's a few dead people outside
but still.
wait, since fucking when wcan you maek pots out of ay ol rockd?
since when do we have depots ready for the traders? And spare mechanisms?
SINCE FUCKING WHEN
DO THE DRWAVES MAKE ARTIFACTS THAT COULD BE USEFUL
LIKE REALLY USEFUL
Is the random umber god testing me
is s/he going to provoke me into trusting him and then blindside me
...well it's going to work. FUKKIT ALL I LEAD THE MILITARY NOW AND I WILL CARRY THAT SHIELD AND BE INVINCIBLE MWAHAHA
okay I told myself to give myself that shieldfor myself but
how do I make the ilitray do stuff again?
fukkit we got traps
BULLSHIT
EVERYTHING IS INCOMPREHENSIBLY AWESOME
(take notes this will be on the test)
...these emrchants dont' dsemm to give a fuck about trading. They didn't even reach the deopt nd theyr'e gone. I wonder what happened.
WELP TOOW SHOTS OF VODKA DOWN time for more pina coladas
just realized bobnova is a woodcutter but he isn't a woodcutter
someone made him plant seeds
probably smart
but, I want to kwgno. for science.
Bob, do you really suck at cutting trees? You can be a woodcutter again.
someg uy is hatnutng the fortress. Some herbalist without a name. give that bitch some slabs
bitches love slabs
yeah! slabbed that ghost to rest and he didn't even break anytingh that I noticed.
hmm. after listening to the announcements and doing a cursory reading of the combat report,s Im' given to underwsatnd that people can't haul shit because the hunters suck and keep dying.
nothing to fix here, that problem will solve itslef
...where is the anvil?
where is the forge?
DO WE SRLY NOT HAVE A THINGY TO MAKE THINGS WITH
and there's no metal on this map either, just marble. hmm.
why was there 3 trade depots?
kill 2 of them
Migrants!
doctor mech mech craftwhore doctor farmer gemmer mech farmer consold-peasnt
well at least the mechanisms industry will boom
aaaaand we've got another artifact goin'. Whoa.
my "we are so dewmed" sense is going off
some farmer made a cup. All of my DGAF.
hmm. Since I've made myself into the borker, I might as well have an offiec. ANd I might as well put that office inside my signature!
Hmm. I found the forge (waaaay down in the magma sea, lol), but twe have no metal. I wonder if we have any spare stuff I can-
jackpot.
dunno who's crap this used to be but it's mine now
hmm, I wonder how a giatnt toad got in here. Well he's dead now so no worries
I swear Toady does this on purpose. For a minute there I thought I was under attack by Revenge of the Whore-Butts.
Dat Ass went and picked a fight with a giant olm. The tree is losing.
AAHHHHHH WTF
how did that FB get in here?!?
okay probably the same way that oldm did
but WHAT
GET THEAT MOTHERFUCKDR
um. Judging by the fact that the crafting floor is on fire I don't think this is working
alright look just put everyone in the milit-
wait.
Isn't he dead?
.......
Necromancy. It's how we do it.
CAN'T FAIL
ROLL WITH THAT SHIT
One would think... that all that would mean it is at least slightly injured.
Nope. I think I'm gonna have !!fun!! with this guy.
This whole "throw everyone at it" thing isn't working. I need a plan b. QUICK SOMEONE BUILD A WALL
where the fuck is the food? build the wall there.
okay found it. Naturally, it is RIGHT NEXT TO THE BAD GUY
I can't even build a wall there be... cuz...
Excuse me, what?
whatever. Everyone run away!
Naturally, they followed that order super fucking fast. Cowardly fuckers. At least I'm still alive, gods know how.
I should probably avoid drinking for the remainder of this fight so I can
HAHAHA
*drink*
I'm quickly discovering the downside of invoking "everyone into the military and stand outside" law. Dwarves try to pick up equipment and get roasted.
But it's Spring, so I reached a checkpoint! Doing SUPER AWESOME
Okay. Is it over? Did he calm his tits?
Mr. Ass is just sitting around in the masonry shops
chillin'
so... I guess I have a second to formulate a plan.
Gotta... think...
HAHAHA WE ARE SUO FUCKED
no but srsly we either need him gone or we need a new fort
okay
if he's just standing still, we'll demilitary everyone and wall him in.
WHO FUCKING PISSED OFF THE FB DAMMIT
we're down to 4 dwarfs. I keep ordering them to do nothing but masonry and architecture and wall the fb in.
then he goes all FIRE MWAHHHHH and someone dies.
so... 4. The 3 lucky dubmasses who keep ignoring me, and one kid.
Elves have no goddamn sense of timing. I wonder if I can trick them into fighting this butt for me.
holy shit, I did it. I sealed him up.
Now someone go steal all the Elves' shit, no way 4 of you can do everything.
I took everything. No holding back. No mercy.
(they totally could have stopped me but it's best if they don't know that)
I think I'm going to salvage what I can, wait for the next wave of mgrants, and hand the fort over. I've done enough damage.
Current roster: 2 herbalists, a fisherdorf, and a child. We are more hooped than... uh... insret space jam reference here.
The "mayor" mandated catapult parts. F U
OKAY MIGTRANT S ARE HERE
BAI FUCKERS
Poll
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1239581 times)