IDE:
Hrmmm, but I like Eclipse! Any particular reason you don't want to use it?
Anyways, what OS are you using? I can only speak for Windows, but my favorite IDEs are Eclipse and Microsoft Visual Studio. VS Express is free, and if you're working alone, you probably won't need any of the features of the paid versions (alternatively, if you're a student with a .edu address, you can get the pro versions for free off Dreamspark). Eclipse is also a solid IDE that integrates well with C++.
Code::Blocks is another choice but I always saw it as Eclipse with less polish, so I never really used it much.
Avoid Dev-C++ at all costs. It's objectively terrible.
There are also a few other IDEs out there but they aren't as common so they might not be so good for first-timers.
If you're not used to statically typed languages or using a compiler, I would suggest you stick to an IDE until you're more comfortable with the language.
Developer community:
Just use stackoverflow and #C++ on freenode IRC or something. Anywhere is fine, really.
Compiler:
You pretty much have two options: GNU Compiler Collection (gcc) or the MSVC Compiler (built into VS). There are other compilers out there but these two are the most common, and so most libraries will have precompiled binaries for these two compilers only.
g++ (the gcc C++ compiler) is standard on most *nix systems, and is a good compiler. gdb is the debugger for g++, and it does a good job of it. Most open-source IDEs will come bundled with these two tools.
MSVC is windows specific, and is bundled with VS. The debugger built into VS is also extremely good.
I'm not sure why you said you couldn't find a good compiler, what precisely is a good compiler to you? C++ has some weird compiler idiosyncrasies, and given your stated language experience, I'm fairly sure you've never had to deal with a beast as strange as the C++ linker (C++ is a fun language where you can compile the same code twice and get different results!). But it's a part of the language. Once you get more used to C++ syntax it would be educational to write a few simple multi-file programs in a plaintext editor then try compiling them by hand to learn how the compilation and linking steps work in C++.
Reference Website:
One thing that's important to know about C++ is that it's neither a simple nor a small language. It's a huge sprawling mess. You won't find any complete reference that's both simple and complete. I learned C++ quite a while ago so I don't remember precisely what websites I used to frequent. Looking through my bookmarks I guess these two links would probably be the most useful:
http://www.parashift.com/c++-faq-lite/index.html C++ FAQ Lite
http://www.icce.rug.nl/documents/cplusplus/cplusplus.html C++ Annotations
Simple Projects:
If you already know how to program, but you're interested in C++, what you really need are C/C++ specific puzzles. I don't have a good resource for that, but things like arrays being pointers (but not really), references being true references (but actually pointers (but not really)), how to properly use the const keyword (and learning how to parse const char * const *), operator overloading (and why the standard library is really clever), scoping (and why you actually have to worry about it (and why C++'s scoping is really dumb sometimes (and why you need C++11 (but also why C++11 makes the language even more unmanageably large...)))), memory fun time (why "
delete this;" makes sense and the great feeling you get when you get your first segfault), the C preprocessor (and why you shouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole (but why you should know how to use it)), OOP from before the last decade, the list goes on...