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[They Got Leader]

THIS THREAD IS THE BEST THREAD EVER

Couldn't you check?

I had a couple tabs open and got them confused. I retract previous statement in favor of more praise

Yeah, I put the three 10-page picture compilations up for download, and the links are in the OP. It's just pictures though.

Sweet. If I had more time, I would go piece by piece and screen cap each picture with its origin. That might be this week's project.

[vadia]

spinning water bruises chest

[Ki11aGhost]

Oh yeah, I totally forgot to post this one here when it happened.

Anyway, a novice or so leatherworker went into a fey mood, and took over a leatherworks. She refused to collect anything despite me having several of each type of item she was asking for. So she's in the leatherworks for like 6 months, and she finally snaps and goes berserk. Naturally, I send in the military because she has a bit of military training and could prove dangerous. So my five-squad comes in, and takes her out. I look for who got the kill, and it's her husband. He killed his own wife, but was still ecstatic. He'd taken joy in slaughter (-ing his own wife.), and lost a spouse due to tragedy lately (because again, he fucking killed her.) but I suppose the legendary food and drink, and the legendary dining-room counterbalanced it.

Later, his baby (only child, a son.) died of bleeding out (The mother had been attacking it) and he's dropped to content or so, but not for long.

[Xob Ludosmbax]

Kol Tölunimush has been ecstatic lately. He killed somebody by accident while sparring recently. He took joy in slaughter lately. He has lost a lover to tragedy lately. He has witnessed death. He had a satisfying sparring session recently.

Spoiler: Warning - TVTropes link (click to show/hide)

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/DwarfFortress?from=Main.DwarfFortress

[GoombaGeek]

So i was playing around in Adventure mode looking for a back pack.

found some coins.

Put them into my storage.

...wait. WHERE?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That is one fat arrow. I forget why. Maybe it is an experimental nuclear warhead bolt.

I duped my raw.

Let's just say when I started my fortress I have 7 dogs that I can order around and a bunch of demons that proceeded to murder my dogwarfs.

While I don't have the report, I do remember an Incident I had that happened in a tundra fort of mine.

Basically, my militia was just getting set up, just steel swords and a bismuth sword here and there, no armor. Since the only wildlife were wolves, which always ran at the sight of a dorf, I decided to sic my militia on some for fun. At first, it was comical, it was a cloud of dorfs chasing wolves similar to, well, how wolves chase prey. Finally they caught up to one the wolves. Basically, less than an RL second later, the wolf is dead....and a baby is dead. The first dorf that reached the wolf was a mother.

Basically, the wolf grabbed and killed the baby lighting fast, and less than a millisecond later, it (The wolf) was then impaled horribly at several spots.

Of course. It's always dogs, isn't it. I hope it looks better than the one on page 2.

On my first quest with my elf adventurer I was hunting down a bandit chieftess. Apparently it was an equal opportunity bandit crew, because one of them was a bit too old for his line of work.

"I am Irum Tucmong! Prepare to - gah... chest pains... my... muh..."
ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU

I was screwing with DFusion and made a leather sword.

not sure if drawworthy but meh

Oh you clever person, posting twice so I draw your reports twice.

spinning water bruises chest

This is the same effect I use to make all my anime OCs look really professionally drawn

Oh yeah, I totally forgot to post this one here when it happened.

Anyway, a novice or so leatherworker went into a fey mood, and took over a leatherworks. She refused to collect anything despite me having several of each type of item she was asking for. So she's in the leatherworks for like 6 months, and she finally snaps and goes berserk. Naturally, I send in the military because she has a bit of military training and could prove dangerous. So my five-squad comes in, and takes her out. I look for who got the kill, and it's her husband. He killed his own wife, but was still ecstatic. He'd taken joy in slaughter (-ing his own wife.), and lost a spouse due to tragedy lately (because again, he fucking killed her.) but I suppose the legendary food and drink, and the legendary dining-room counterbalanced it.

Later, his baby (only child, a son.) died of bleeding out (The mother had been attacking it) and he's dropped to content or so, but not for long.

Fun fact: The captcha for this image was "mom and dad".

So anytime anyone asks why you play Dwarf Fortress, link them this image.

[Zivilin]

Spoiler: Battle Report (click to show/hide)

The goblin subsequently bled out.

I know, I know, a dwarf tearing out someone's throat isn't all that uncommon, but nobody reported it yet, so I may as well be the first. Also, the killing blow was actually the heart being torn by a rib broken by a shield bash. Additionally, my militia commander somehow managed to LODGE that shield in the wound, the visual of which eludes my imagination.

[Loud Whispers]

Well I've reported a Were-Dwarf ripping throats out before if that counts

[Nyxalinth]

That leather sword is exactly how I imagined it

In the recent siege of Firegears, three hastily recruited dwarves and one Marksdwarf beat a troll to death, starting by bashing her teeth out. The Marksdwarf beat on her with her steel crossbow.

[Zivilin]

Well I've reported a Were-Dwarf ripping throats out before if that counts

O_o

I must have missed it. Now I have to reread the whole thread in case I missed anything else

[Hammerstar]

"I am Irum Tucmong! Prepare to - gah... chest pains... my... muh..."
ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU

Well, I've now found my favorite image ever.

[Cheesoburgor]

Giant mosquitoe bites urist.mc smexy to groin. blood is sucked from the wound. urist has been sucked dry 

i see what you did there.

[MrWillsauce]

My human adventurer had just received a beating from a Kobold ambush, but he was able to escape alive by leaving his companions to die while he crawled like hell. Anyway, because of this he can no longer grasp weapons. So I was stranded in an expansive tundra, with no liquid water what-so-ever. I had a waterskin of ice and I was dehydrated, so I decided to sneak into a Labyrinth and melt it. Of course, I got attacked by a minotaur. I tried to equip my pike, but it instantly fell to the ground. The minotaur smashed me around a bit. I decided to make a last ditch effort and throw my copper shield at him. The shield lodged in his skull and killed him instantly. The ice melted and now the adventurer is alive and well.

[Loud Whispers]

Well I've reported a Were-Dwarf ripping throats out before if that counts

O_o

I must have missed it. Now I have to reread the whole thread in case I missed anything else

In this thread? Not yet

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Sus]

[edit: double post, oopsies...]

[Sus]

ALSO THIS

Have fun!

The one with the ‼adventurer‼ ♥ Demon is pure Comedy Gold.

Giant mosquitoe bites urist.mc smexy to groin. blood is sucked from the wound. urist has been sucked dry 

i see what you did there.

So, "blood" is what you young folks cal lit these days?