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Poll

Actual Sequel, instead of a subject change?

Yes
- 45 (56.3%)
No
- 5 (6.3%)
Sure
- 13 (16.3%)
Negatory
- 17 (21.3%)

Total Members Voted: 80


Pages: 1 ... 81 82 [83] 84 85 ... 232

Author Topic: HERO CIVIL WAR (YOU AT FINAL BOSS PART 2): Dat Countdown: (.5)  (Read 656406 times)

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1230 on: September 23, 2012, 06:11:38 am »

Shut up D=. I'm not gonna roll a 1 and die horribly from insulting fem lich about her size and eating habits.


Oh, I'm almost positive you're going to roll a one now. Good luck.

And the GM will find a way for it to kill you horribly.
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miauw62

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1231 on: September 23, 2012, 06:19:49 am »

DISTRACT GREAT GOLEM (the incinerator one) WITH POKEMON GOLEM SO I CAN EASILY TAKE CONTROL OVER THE GREAT GOLEM (the incinerator one).
« Last Edit: September 23, 2012, 06:53:30 am by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Spinal_Taper

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1232 on: September 23, 2012, 10:33:43 am »

Merlin. What now, motherfuckers? What now?
Nothing, I respect Merlin.


Merlin. Eldritch Abominations are like, "Whoa, it's Merlin. I ain't talkin' no shit on Merlin."
Signature achieved.

>Convince GLaDOS that lich would make good experimental subject
>Don't die due to neurotoxin
>Help any women with portal guns I see.
(6) SHE SEES YOUR POINT, BUT ALSO SEES THAT IT REQUIRES GREAT INTELLIGENCE TO CONVINCE HER OF ANYTHING. SHE FREES CHELL, "HIRING" YOU INSTEAD. (4) "NEUROTOXIN? WHAT NEUROTOXIN?".

BECOME ARMY OF 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 GANGSTERS, FIGHTING FOR TWOPACK'S VENGEANCE.

OPEN FIRE: KILL THE LICH BITCH AND HER MOTHERFUCKING GOLEM.

(4) THAT'S A LOT OF GANGSTERS, ALL BEHIND ONE BANNER. (6) THEY ALL CAST NUMEROUS DARK MAGIC SPELLS, INCLUDING ALL THE INSTANT DEATH ONES. OH WAIT. DAMN.

METAMORPHSE TO GIANT ROTTING SKIN
LAND ON LICH, INFECTING HER WITH A FLESH AND S(4)
OUL EATING DISEASE THAT ACTS WITHIN 5 PICOSECONDS.

(4) THATS REALLY GROSS. (5) YOU SOMEHOW SOAR THROUGH THE AIR, BEFORE LANDING ON THE LICH AND INFECTING HER. SHE SCREAMS IN AGONY AS TIDBITS OF HER DISSOLVE. (5+2) BUT THEN, SHE FIRES OFF A WAVE OF ELDRITCH ENERGY, CLEANSING THE VIRUS FROM HER SYSTEM, AND SENDING YOU INTO THE AIR, HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR COMRADES.

Curse damned frost demons.

>ROB APERTURE SCIENCE FOR SHOOTY STUFF
>BUILD SEXISM GUN
>SHOOT AT LICHETTE
(3) YOU GET THE USELESS 1 PORTAL GUN. THE ONE THAT ONLY SHOOTS BLUE PORTALS. (6) YOU THEN BUILD A SEXISM GUN, AND TEST IT ON YOURSELF. GRR. MASCULINITY! EMBOLDENED BY YOUR WEAPON, YOU TAKE A FLYING LEAP AT THE LICHETTE TO COPULATE WITH HER, (5+2) BUT ARE SHOT DOWN, BOTH ROMANTICALLY AND LITERALLY. THE LITERAL PART TAKES THE FORM OF BEING DISSOLVES IN A WAVE OF MAGIC. THE ROMANTIC PART TAKING THE FORM OF NOT SHAGGING AN UNDEAD MONSTER. WAIT, WHAT?

Load Pepper Gun.

Shoot at Golem Nose.
(1) YOU SHOVE PEPPERS UP YOUR NOSE. OH WOW, THAT BURNS. THAT BURNS WAY TOO MUCH. (6) NEVER DISMAYED BY THE THREAT OF DISMEMBERMENT AND/OR DEATH, YOU SNEEZE AT THE GOLEM, FIRING PEPPERS AT IT. THEY BOUNCE OFF.

>TAKEN FOR GRANITE?
>INFECT THE LICH WITH TVTROPES.
>WATCH HOW THE LICH LOSES FREE TIME
(1) SHE'S TOO BUSY DESTROYING THE WORLD FOR THAT. SHE DISREGARDS IT IN SUCH A WAY, THAT YOUR EGO IS HURT. (6) SHE DOES, HOWEVER, SPEND SO MUCH TIME EXPLAINING WHY CATALOUGING STORY DEVICES AND VARIOUS THINGS ARE A USELESS PURSUIT, THAT SHE GETS -5 FREE TIME. THIS LOOPS ALL THE WAY BACK AROUND, GIVING HER 29 HOURS OF FREE TIME DAILY.

((Um... did I succeed in consuming dinosaur hell? I expected that to take multiple turns if it could succeed at all. Oh well, I'm just as happy retconning that action out of the game.))
Elope with mafia boss's daughter, retire for a while in a pleasant part of toaster hell while disguised as toasters to avoid her father.
((I think the missed turns is a sign that the game is becoming too chaotic and might have too many players. I'm stepping out for now, but I may return later))
(6) YOU NEVER NOTICED JUST HOW HORRIFICALLY UGLY SHE WAS BEFORE, WHAT WITH BEING A MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAUR.

JOIN RANDOM HERO AND HELP THEM WITH... WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING.
(4) YOU JOIN UP WITH TCMS ARMY, BRINGING DOWN A SERIES OF CUTEBOLD TO "ASSIST" HIS GANGSTERS.

SPLIT aLL ORBS IN TWO!

TAKE ONE HALF OF THE SPLIT ORBS AND MAKE THE TEAMWORK ORB

LOAD INTO ORB CANON AND FIRE AT BOSS
(2) YOU CAST FRACTIONIZE ON AN ORB, AND IT REFLECTS IT BACK AT YOU, RIPPING YOU INTO 100 SEPERATE 100THS.

I died. Shit. Respawn as Dumblore Merlin with a shotgun.
(1) YOU RESPAWN AS THAT BITCH-ASS PUNK ARTHUR WITH A STICK.

Have to get a good roll eventually. ATTEMPT TO DISTRACT LICH TO EITHER BOOST HERO ROLLS OR LOWER LICH ROLLS BY TELLING THEM THEY'RE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD. REMIND THEM OF WHEN THEY BINGED ON ICE CREAM OUT OF SADNESS AND THEY LOOK FAT IN THAT CLOAK.
(2) "HEY LICH! YOU LOOK HOT! IT MUST BE HOW YOU HAVE A WELL BALANCED DIET! SOULS TASTE GOOD, AND ARE GOOD FOR YOU!"

DISTRACT GREAT GOLEM (the incinerator one) WITH POKEMON GOLEM SO I CAN EASILY TAKE CONTROL OVER THE GREAT GOLEM (the incinerator one).
(6) YOU ENCOUNTER A WILD RAYQUAZA GOLEM! YOU WHITE OUT...

BOSS TURN:
The Lich blushes deeply in her undead cheeks, before magically pulling Dirg over to her, (5+2+2) and calls upon her magic and one of the rules of story telling. Evil is always hot. And she is. She is very much so. (5+2). Then, she tears him to itty bitty bits using her demonic claws, before she admits her infatuation. Dirg also gets a -1 to rolls against her, and vica-versa due to her being tsundere for him.

BOSS STATUS
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
MINIONS
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
NEUTRAL
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HEROES
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
ARENA STATUS
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
DICK
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[/quote]
« Last Edit: September 23, 2012, 10:39:22 am by Spinal_Taper »
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Xantalos

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1233 on: September 23, 2012, 10:38:42 am »

WRAP AROUND DIRG
POSSESS HIM AND RIP THE LICH TO PIECES
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Greenstarfanatic

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1234 on: September 23, 2012, 10:39:18 am »

GRAAAAAAAAARG.

BE RAMBO AGAIN.

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE.
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raptorfangamer

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1235 on: September 23, 2012, 10:40:35 am »

>KEEP TRYING
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BFEL

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1236 on: September 23, 2012, 10:47:25 am »

>KEEP TRYING

USE NAPALM BURNING SELF+FLAG AND JUMP ON RAPTOR SCREAMING GIVE UP ALREADY, IT WAS A STUPID PLAN, JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PLAN IN THIS. SERIOUSLY OUR PLANS SUCK. JUST LOOK AT ME, IM ON FUCKING FIRE FROM NAPALM AND I DECIDED TO JUMP ONTO ANOTHER DUDE WHOS ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING SEMI PRODUCTIVE, AS OPPOSED TO THROWING MYSELF AT THE LICH OR SOMETHING. ALSO IM MAKING THIS INCREDIBLY, HORRIBLY LONG POST THAT THE GM WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO SPOILER OR SIMPLY HEADDESK REPEATEDLY. I REALLY AM A DICK :P

I AM HOWEVER QUITE AN ELOQUENT DICK CONSIDERING THE WHOLE, ON FIRE THING. I MEAN REALLY WHO MANAGES TO CREATE A WELL THOUGHT OUT....I DONT KNOW FUCKING ESSAY OR SOMETHING WHILE ON FIRE? THIS GUY.

AND NOW I JUST IMAGINED HOW INSANE IT WOULD BE IF THIS SOMEHOW RESULTED IN US WINNING. THAT WOULD BE FUNNY BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, LEAST PRODUCTIVE USE OF MY BODY BEING MELTED INTO A PUDDLE TIME EVER. EVER
« Last Edit: September 23, 2012, 10:51:12 am by BFEL »
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1237 on: September 23, 2012, 10:55:52 am »

>Access magical powers
>Locate the part of GLaDOS that makes her evil/insane
>Destroy it
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raptorfangamer

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1238 on: September 23, 2012, 11:16:08 am »

>KEEP TRYING

USE NAPALM BURNING SELF+FLAG AND JUMP ON RAPTOR SCREAMING GIVE UP ALREADY, IT WAS A STUPID PLAN, JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PLAN IN THIS. SERIOUSLY OUR PLANS SUCK. JUST LOOK AT ME, IM ON FUCKING FIRE FROM NAPALM AND I DECIDED TO JUMP ONTO ANOTHER DUDE WHOS ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING SEMI PRODUCTIVE, AS OPPOSED TO THROWING MYSELF AT THE LICH OR SOMETHING. ALSO IM MAKING THIS INCREDIBLY, HORRIBLY LONG POST THAT THE GM WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO SPOILER OR SIMPLY HEADDESK REPEATEDLY. I REALLY AM A DICK :P

I AM HOWEVER QUITE AN ELOQUENT DICK CONSIDERING THE WHOLE, ON FIRE THING. I MEAN REALLY WHO MANAGES TO CREATE A WELL THOUGHT OUT....I DONT KNOW FUCKING ESSAY OR SOMETHING WHILE ON FIRE? THIS GUY.

AND NOW I JUST IMAGINED HOW INSANE IT WOULD BE IF THIS SOMEHOW RESULTED IN US WINNING. THAT WOULD BE FUNNY BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, LEAST PRODUCTIVE USE OF MY BODY BEING MELTED INTO A PUDDLE TIME EVER. EVER

<CANCEL LAST ACTION
>NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALM CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE
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TCM

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1239 on: September 23, 2012, 11:57:52 am »

"AIGHT, FUCK THIS."

GIVE UP FIGHTING THE LICH, A FRUITLESS EFFORT.

GO TAKE GANGSTERS AND LIVE IN THE SOME OTHER DIMENSION WHERE PEOPLE AREN'T STUPID ALL THE TIME.
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miauw62

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1240 on: September 23, 2012, 12:13:27 pm »

JUST FUGGIN TAKE CONTROL OVER THE BIG GOLEM INCINERATOR THINGY.


(is my pokemon golem still alive? If so, then do this:)

OH YEAH, AND HAVE POKEMON GOLEM THINGY PUNCH LICH. REALLY HARD.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2012, 12:16:14 pm by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Dirg

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1241 on: September 23, 2012, 12:52:33 pm »

Told ya I wasn't gonna roll a 1 ye doubters =P MUST CONTINUE DISTRACTING LICH. IN CONFETTI STATE, BEGIN PLANNING FIRST DATE.
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BFEL

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1242 on: September 23, 2012, 03:35:29 pm »

Told ya I wasn't gonna roll a 1 ye doubters =P MUST CONTINUE DISTRACTING LICH. IN CONFETTI STATE, BEGIN PLANNING FIRST DATE.

Lol didnt this happen already? Oh yeah it was a clone of the Lich. Which is now in a very happy marriage with one of the heroes :P
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misko27

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1243 on: September 23, 2012, 03:37:47 pm »

That, was, weird. Uh, WAIT  KNOW!

>SUMMON XENU, FLANKED BY SPACE SHIPS
>SUMMON HIS OPPOSITE, FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER DIRECTLY OPPOSITE LICHETTE AND XENU, FLANKED BY CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS RIDING RAPTORS
>HAVE THEM RUSH AT EACH OTHER, STRIKING THE LICHETTE AND EACH OTHER SIMULTANEUSLY, AND EXPLODE IN MASSIVE BURST OF ANTIMATTER


ITS GOING TO WORK. I BET YOU CAN'T THINK OF A WAY IT WON'T WORK.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2012, 07:32:31 pm by misko27 »
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: YOU AT FINAL BOSS: SOURCE OF MY GREAT SHAME.
« Reply #1244 on: September 23, 2012, 06:58:19 pm »

Been reading through, and just caught up to my first post. It's insane. Also, sorry, raptorfangamer.
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