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[Hanslanda]

Yeah, but the bread shouldn't be conducting anything if the toaster hasn't engaged the heating coils yet. The coils should not have current flow, unless the toaster is somehow damaged. I mean, it's not good to stick a fork in there when they're off, but a slice of bread shouldn't have NEAR the conductivity to allow enough current that you'd feel it.

[Arx]

...also I'm not sure whether Parsely was being serious, but electric toasters cook bread by plain ol' radiant heating, not by induction (although an induction toaster would be fascinating if it could be made to work).

[Parsely]

I was joking. :p

[Arx]

I assumed so but you never know. It's juuust sane enough to be true.

Now I kinda want to know what happens if you microwave bread for a long time, but I suspect it just goes soggy and subsequently tough.

[Frumple]

It basically turns into yeasty brick at somewhere somewhat over a minute (1100 watt, high, non-frozen bread). Go much further beyond that and it variably charcoals or catches fire, depending on how poor your luck is, iirc. You can nuke bread but you rarely want to microwave it for very long.

[Gentlefish]

...Ugh, I can't find the video right now, but bread will blacken well before it burns, if it burns at all. It'll stink like burnt ramen which means you'll be smelling it for a few weeks but it's surprisingly difficult to actually get bread to catch fire.

[Hanslanda]

Huh I wonder how viable hard tack bread is as a weapon suddenly. Like a brick of it might be a decent bludgeoning tool, or maybe you could bake it to a point and stab someone, then say, "Quit loafing around."

[TamerVirus]

Stale baguettes are already used by the French Army for close quarters combat. Such a brutal weapon.

[Rowanas]

Stale baguettes are already used by the French Army for close quarters combat. Such a brutal weapon.

Where's that SMBC ancestral baguette strip?

[Frumple]

...Ugh, I can't find the video right now, but bread will blacken well before it burns, if it burns at all. It'll stink like burnt ramen which means you'll be smelling it for a few weeks but it's surprisingly difficult to actually get bread to catch fire.

This is fairly true, but surprisingly difficult can't stand up to varyingly senile grandparents. It can definitely happen, heh.

[Kagus]

...Ugh, I can't find the video right now, but bread will blacken well before it burns, if it burns at all. It'll stink like burnt ramen which means you'll be smelling it for a few weeks but it's surprisingly difficult to actually get bread to catch fire.

This is fairly true, but surprisingly difficult can't stand up to varyingly senile grandparents. It can definitely happen, heh.

I think a word?

[Rolan7]

Just quotation marks.  "Surprisingly difficult" can't stand up to "varyingly senile grandparents".

[Frumple]

Quotes around the surprisingly difficult would have added some clarity, yeh. Don't think it'd be needed around the vsg okay no that looks like shorthand for a venereal disease varyingly senile grandparents, though.

[MrRoboto75]

"varingly" "senile" "grandparents"

[KittyTac]

What is the name of that meme where a few short words are expanded into long, Expospeak Gag-type sentences? I swear I saw it a few times.