I had this swimming around in my head for the past few days and I'll go BERSERK!!! if I don't post it.
People have already posted their DF movie ideas, but I decided to do something a bit different. Instead of posting the usual, I have decided to give my DF movie idea the Hollywood treatment. By that, I mean that NOTHING is going to be accurate, but it would still entertain the masses. Here goes-
Narrator: An ancient discovery...
*Cut to scientist (played by a scrawny Chris Hemsworth) reluctantly pulling out a cotton candy stick.*
*Cut to people screaming in an elevator during an earthquake, followed by the power going out.*
Narrator: DARKNESS... Has arrived...
Narrator: And only ONE man...
Narrator: Can save us all!!!
*Cut to scientist from earlier scene trying to read the ingredients label on the cotton candy stick and yelling, "Zustash Kin Gorroth? What does it even mean?" followed by him swiping his arm across his worktable.
*Cut to scientist hammering down drinks at the local bar. A short man (played by Danny Devito) says, "We need to talk. Privately.*
*Cut to short guy outside of the bar saying, "You have been chosen by the ancients to defeat the God of Blood. Only then, will our species break the ancient slave curse.*
Narrator: The WAR has begun!!!
MIlitary General: Our weapons have no effect on these creatures!!!
Soldier: There are too many of them!!!
Soldier: Aaaaaah!!! *gets bitten by a crazy person*
Female Doctor (**played by Katy Perry): It appears as if the teeth have pierced through the cranial wall, bruising the brain!!!
Female Doctor *after looking at the scientist*: Have you been working out? *pan to a muscular Chris Hemsworth*
Scientist *with a strong accent*: I dunno, but I could go for a beer right about now.
*Cut to scene of a creepy guy in a hood (played by Alan Rickman) drinking blood from a chalice.
Guy in hood: *laughs evilly* Nobody shall defeat my blood army!!!
*Cut to scene of scientist practicing the art of swinging the cotton candy stick around*
Scientist (while frusterated with his training): I can't do it!!!
Short guy: The others can do LOTS of stuff. Like digging *nods over to another short guy, who happens to be practicing his trench digging*. Can you dig? *pause* I made my point. Shut up and keep training!!!
*Cut to another scene of crazy people biting everyone.*
Short guy: You must destroy those who raise the dead!!!
Scientist: Tickles a zombie in the stomach with the cotton candy stick, followed by the short guy beheading a necromancer with a double-bladed axe.
Short guy: And THAT is how you stop them.
*Cut to cliched scene of the (now Godly-looking) scientist and Armok fighting with two different flavors of cotton candy while surrounded by a bunch of fog and a cool strobelight effect*
Armok: Once I destroy you, there will be NOTHING stopping me from enslaving your ENTIRE race!!!
Scientist (looking hella badass with long hair and huge muscles): We'll see about THAT!!!
*Cut to black*
*Sound of breathing, followed by the silhouette of Chris Hemsworth saying, "What have I done?".*
*The words "Dwarf Fortress" slam up against the screen*
Narrator: DWARF FORTRESS!!!
Post Title: Written and produced by Eric Kripke (Terminator 4, Supernatural TV series)
Post Title: And directed by Michael Bay (War Of The Worlds, Transformers)
**I told you it was getting the Hollywood treatment, didn't I?
Author
Topic: Another DF Movie Thread!!! (Read 3479 times)