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Author Topic: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things  (Read 2788 times)

dexxy

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Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« on: June 27, 2012, 08:45:54 pm »

Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things. For example, a one-humped camel bone bolt. How do they know the bone isn't from a two-humped camel? Amazing!

Or a pool of female dog blood. How do they know it's from a female just by looking at it? Amazing!

Dwarfs should get a job with CSI since they are so good at identifying things!
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Gizogin

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2012, 09:12:57 pm »

You have to think about what a dwarf sees most often.  They encounter so much death and blood every day that they must be able to tell where it came from at a glance.

"Hey Urist, you seen this blood puddle?"
"Oh, yeah.  Giant penguin, from the smell of it.  Looks to be a male, about four years old, at a guess."
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Scott Cee

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2012, 10:20:59 pm »

The symbiotic creatures known as beards that live on diminuitive humanoids fond of drink and industry are obviously able to sample and catalogue DNA.
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Darkmere

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2012, 10:25:48 pm »

This week on CSI: Boatmurdered...

Catten: What do we know about the victim?
Urist: Seems like he went insane, cut a swath through the dining hall and into the booze stockpile. And Catten.... he was on fire the whole time.
Catten: Well, I suppose in DF...

 8)

If you booze, you lose.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 27, 2012, 10:27:46 pm by Darkmere »
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And then, they will be weaponized. Like everything in this game, from kittens to babies, everything is a potential device of murder.
So if baseless speculation is all we have, we might as well treat it like fact.

Garath

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2012, 03:59:48 am »

In a similar case, bookkeepers develop psychic abilities and can see into the future.

Which annoys me. I mean, if he knew how much goblinite was coming next year, and in the future, couldn't he have made a list for me so I'd know what to expect?
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Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
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I am Leo

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2012, 07:47:56 am »

And yet they still can't see fire.
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guitarxe

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2012, 08:51:54 am »

I don't understand why people keep saying that bookkeepers can see into the future? What do you mean? Like, you'd see iron weapons in the stock screen before an invasion comes in carrying all those weapons? I've never seen anything like that before...
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slink

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2012, 09:44:23 am »

I don't understand why people keep saying that bookkeepers can see into the future? What do you mean? Like, you'd see iron weapons in the stock screen before an invasion comes in carrying all those weapons? I've never seen anything like that before...
I suppose they mean that you can see the equipment on the invaders, but that's not in the future in my experience.  It's the same as seeing the stuff on the caravans in your inventory.  The stuff is on the map.  It's just not yours.
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Sutremaine

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2012, 10:34:31 am »

And yet they still can't see fire.
They avoid it now. Due to circumstances, I had a migrant on an area of land with a rapidly-spreading fire on it. The dwarf kept stepping out of the way of the fire as it approached before finally stepping down a level and (by chance) avoiding the fire entirely.
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BigD145

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2012, 11:21:47 am »

Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things. For example, a one-humped camel bone bolt. How do they know the bone isn't from a two-humped camel? Amazing!

Or a pool of female dog blood. How do they know it's from a female just by looking at it? Amazing!

Dwarfs should get a job with CSI since they are so good at identifying things!

Well, they don't have reference material to consult so they're bound to identify and memorize everything around. They also don't have any other distractions like advertising.
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NecroRebel

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2012, 11:25:14 am »

I don't understand why people keep saying that bookkeepers can see into the future? What do you mean? Like, you'd see iron weapons in the stock screen before an invasion comes in carrying all those weapons? I've never seen anything like that before...
Get a bookkeeper, get them to highest precision, then kill them. Now you have no bookkeeper. When a goblin siege next comes, check your stocks screen; you'll see that your bookkeeper perfectly cataloged the goblins' equipment, since you can see the exact number and type of every piece of goblinite. Except that he would've had to do it before he died, so therefore he must've been able to tell what the goblins were going to bring before they actually did so, therefore he must've been able to know exactly what was going to happen in the future, therefore bookkeepers are psychic. Quot erat demonstratum.
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Garath

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2012, 11:27:23 am »

I don't understand why people keep saying that bookkeepers can see into the future? What do you mean? Like, you'd see iron weapons in the stock screen before an invasion comes in carrying all those weapons? I've never seen anything like that before...
I suppose they mean that you can see the equipment on the invaders, but that's not in the future in my experience.  It's the same as seeing the stuff on the caravans in your inventory.  The stuff is on the map.  It's just not yours.

If/when your bookkeeper dies, and the settings were set to perfect, they will stay updated even if you don't appoint a new bookkeeper, at least, that's what happened before. The theory was that the bookkeeper gained superdwarven prescience and left messages on future stock levels, which would include that he knows exactly how many goblins I will kill next year, and the year after, since he has added their remains to the books that yet have to be opened

ninja'd
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Uthric

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2012, 01:46:20 pm »

don't you know every time a legendary book keeper die's a new soul is added to the forums.
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Garath

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2012, 02:17:36 pm »

don't you know every time a legendary book keeper die's a new soul is added to the forums.

so if I want new people I should kill bookkeepers, that's ok with me, anything but people like loud whispers ;D
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

HiEv

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Re: Dwarfs are amazing at identifying things
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2012, 11:34:32 pm »

In a similar case, bookkeepers develop psychic abilities and can see into the future.

Which annoys me. I mean, if he knew how much goblinite was coming next year, and in the future, couldn't he have made a list for me so I'd know what to expect?

Yeah, I think this comic explains why that doesn't happen.
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