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[Yoink]

It must be THE GUY SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU WITH!!
You need evidence for the eventual divorce trial, but there's no time to go grab a camera! Let's just go set the house's central heating to an extremely low temperature and freeze the entire sorry scene for the court to view at their leisure.

Alternatively, if the house's heating doesn't go several hundred degrees below zero for some reason, just use mind-powers to freeze it instead.

[TherosPherae]

Pick up our trusty sword that we hid under our mail box and walk into the house ad prepare for battle! 

Who said anything about swords? Just pick up the mailbox, post and all.

[Taricus]

Return car to sender.

[Ross Vernal]

Steal the car. Speed all the way to that crossing guard and hit him even harder than you did the teacher.

[Yoink]

...And have him slice the car in half with us in it?! Erm.

[LordBucket]

Go to the neighbor's house and ask to borrow their college-age daughter. Have her wear panties and nothing else, then stroll into our living room to confront the wife and her guest while wearing the girl on our arm like an ornament.

[Yoink]

Go to the neighbor's house and ask to borrow their college-age daughter. Have her wear panties and nothing else, then stroll into our living room to confront the wife and her guest while wearing the girl on our arm like an ornament.

Okay, okay, this. Genius!

[SirAaronIII]

If possible, also get the teacher who has miraculously recovered and bring her, too.

[Taricus]

Go to the neighbor's house and ask to borrow their college-age daughter. Have her wear panties and nothing else, then stroll into our living room to confront the wife and her guest while wearing the girl on our arm like an ornament.

Okay, okay, this. Genius!

But... SHE'S NOT FAT!

[Robocorn]

You pluck your mailbox to rain havok upon your fat wife's suitor
something feels incomplete about your triumph though.



Phew, you remember that being easier when you were younger.
This certainly feels more proper though.

You wish she'd stop biting.



You go in your door.
Hraesvelgr?
It was Hraesvelgr with your fat wife the whole time?!
And to think you liked Hraesvelgr.

[LordBucket]

Approach Hraesvelgr with manly tears pouring from our eyes and tell him to take good care of the fat wife. Grab our favorite guitar from the bedroom, a six pack of beer, then leave with the college girl and drive off into the sunset. Take Hraesvelgr's car. He won't need it.

[Yoink]

Everything LordBucket said, but let's stop off at KFC on the way. We need to fatten this girl up!

[Dragor23]

Also, eat the table.

[Twi]

Approach Hraesvelgr with manly tears pouring from our eyes and tell him to take good care of the fat wife. Grab our favorite guitar from the bedroom, a six pack of beer, then leave with the college girl and drive off into the sunset. Take Hraesvelgr's car. He won't need it.

[Robocorn]

You tearfully ask Hraesvelgr to take care of your fat wife.



Then you nab a six pack and the ol' dimebag and steal his car.



Truly this is the beginning of the rest of your life.