Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[DanteThanatos]

We've all seen dwarfs construct walls with them outside, dig the channel from the wrong side(A section of the cavern has collapsed!) and all that...
But this is the frickin first time I've seen a Dwarf end 1z level ABOVE the wall after building it.
I can provide some screenshots.

He was probably putting the bricks of the wall and going up after this brick here, one more brick*steps up a little* one more* another step, There! Finished!

"Urist McMason cancels Construct Building: Could not find path."

[Pharaun]

Yep. I'm just about sick of them doing this. To compound building themselves into things, my mechanics have a tendency to get killed by their own upright spike traps. Admittedly my own fault, but hey, I'll yell at Urist while I can.

[Loud Whispers]

Dwarves can dodge up walls, and swap tiles with creatures. Like birds.

[Jeoshua]

Given an option of what to do, 99% of the time the Dwarf will pick the absolute most confusingly wrong way that is imaginable.  They will seal themselves into magma reservoirs, deconstruct floor tiles that are supporting the one they're standing on, even tunnel straight into an aquifer that you were trying to seal off.

Long story short.... Dwarves are dumb.  But funny dumb.

[JimDale]

It's not so funny when you keep finding corpses on your castle walls.

[TheCoolSideofthePIllow]

I don't believe anyone ever said Dwarves were smart.

It's amazing they get anything done at all, considering how hammered drunk they are all the time.

[Loud Whispers]

It's all about secondary livers in the Dwarf world. They serve many purposes.

[Jeoshua]

My theory is that Dwarves cannot produce some kind of nutrient that they need to survive, and the only way they can get it is by drinking alcohol.  That's why they get sluggish and stupid without booze.

Just a theory tho.

[HiEv]

My theory is that Dwarves cannot produce some kind of nutrient that they need to survive, and the only way they can get it is by drinking alcohol.  That's why they get sluggish and stupid without booze.

Yeah, they don't have enough vitamin B_00ZE without their alcohol.

[612DwarfAvenue]

Nooo. The Dwarves are actually essentially fleshy robots that use booze for fuel. Their beards are actually sentient creatures that control the Dwarves like mechs.

You might be thinking, "well, why do the beards act so stupidly then?", to which i reply, "well, they're quite obviously hair-brained".

[Pharaun]

hair-brained".

I just had a seizure.

[Urist Da Vinci]

Dwarves can dodge up walls, and swap tiles with creatures. Like birds.

Or rather, when friendly creatures walk around it is sometimes done by swapping the tiles that they are standing on. Some of the pet birds can fly, and might be standing on top of a wall. If they fly forwards and down to a dwarf, that dwarf ends up on top of the wall. For this reason, I often put ramps or stairs on the inside of outdoor walls.

[DanteThanatos]

Didn't knew about the swap position. That could be used to something usefull? Like a suspended fort(locked down) with the only way in being with pet swaping?

[Naryar]

I've seen a few dwarves on my fort walls were they should not be, since they were unconnected to the main fort, but maybe they dodged some giant kakapo and got on the wall or something.

[Kyphis]

It is a misconception that the dwarf is of the kingdom Animalia.

They in fact belong in the kingdom Plantae.

This misconception arises from the dwarf's appearance. The fleshy, pink thing that yells and dies a lot is not, in fact, the dwarf. This is mearly the nutrient sack that feeds the true dwarf.

The strange, hair like growth growing on the fleshy yelling dying part, most commonly mistaken for a beard, is in fact the real body of the dwarf.

The dwarf is a plant, leeching nutrients from its mobile nutrient sack. Its favourite nutrients are produced through the consumptive process that the fleshy pink yelling bleeding dying part frequently engages in, as these help to stimulate its growth. Water does not provide the raw materials that the nutrients sacks need to produce the dwarf's favourite nutrients, and as a result causes the dwarf to become sluggish in an effort to conserve resources.

Dwarf's frequently get odd nutritional urges which appear to the uneducated to be strange moods and demands of other dwarfs. If these urges are not met, they can often cause the dwarf to begin cannibalizing crucial parts of the nutrient sack, as it goes into overdrive seeking the nutrients it desires.
This frequently causes problems within the distillation and ambulatory segments of the fleshy pink bleeding yelling dying burning oh god make it stop part, which most onlookers mistake for common insanity.

This also explains why what is commonly mistaken for a dwarf has such a terrible survival instinct. In reality, the dwarf facebeard plant thing simply has a very short term outlook, and while it is aware that should the fleshy pink bleeding swearing yelling dying pooping burning oh god make it stop part die, it will live on to consume the remaining nutrients, growing for many months if not years, it has difficulty grasping the concept that after all its nutrients are consumed, it too will die.